A lesbian couple finds an abandoned baby. Erin (Ali Liebert) wants to adopt it. Her wife Kelly (Katherine Barrell) does not. But she’ll be badgered and shamed into pretending she does. The Christmas Baby is the second Hallmark film to feature a lesbian couple. 2023’s Friends & Family Christmas followed their romcom formula. Baby tries something higher stakes. I found the result melodramatic and humorless. But I’m glad Hallmark is still featuring queer couples.
Here’s a quick, spoiler filled, recap.
What Child Is This?
Scene One: A Coffee Shop in Albany NY.
TEEN BARISTA: Here’s your order.
KELLY: Will you be on time for the ceremony? They’re giving me an award for my art installation at the museum.
ERIN: I’ll finish my shift at the shop and head right there.
Scene Two: Erin’s Gift Shop
ERIN: Oh shoot. I’m running late. (Doorbell rings) Who’s there?
BABY: Wah. I’m a baby. I have a note.
NOTE: “KELLY AND ERIN I KNOW YOU’LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM. HIS NAME IS NICHOLAS. I’M SORRY. I TRIED.”
ERIN: Zoinks!
Scene Three: Sensible Plans
KELLY: I called 9-1-1.
BENEVOLENT SOCIAL WORKER: I’ll take the baby to the hospital for a checkup. Then find an emergency caregiver until a foster family is secured.
ERIN: We’ll be the emergency caregivers!
KELLY: What? We can’t care for a baby. We both have full time jobs!
WACKY FRIENDS: We’ll build your nursery.
WACKY IN-LAWS: We’ll babysit while you’re at work.
BENEVOLENT SOCIAL WORKER: Perfect. I’ll walk you through the court appearances and background checks off screen.
BABY: It takes a village to raise me.
Scene Four: Conflict
KELLY: We agreed we didn’t want kids.
ERIN: Yes, but when I looked at that baby, I changed my mind. What’s your problem?
KELLY: My career, finances, lifestyle and general disinterest in kids says this is a bad idea. Plus, the birth family could show up at any minute to claim him.
ERIN: It’s always an excuse with you.
BABY: Change me. Feed me. Start my college fund.
Scene Five: Christmas Party
KELLY: After days of teary arguments and passive aggressive shaming I’ve decided I’ll help you raise this baby.
BENEVOLENT SOCIAL WORKER: The birth mother has come forward.
TEEN BARISTA: That’s me. Sorry I abandoned my baby in your store. The father isn’t in the picture. I’m working three jobs to put myself through college. If you want the baby, he’s yours.
ERIN: We want the baby!
KELLY: Yep. We sure do.
BABY: God bless us, everyone.
THE END
Baby Fever
KELLY: You’re a lawyer. What do we do?
LAWYER: I’m a Real Estate Attorney. Is the baby applying for a mortgage?
It’s no Tokyo Godfathers. I appreciate that Topher Payne’s screenplay acknowledges the challenges of the adoption process. Even if fortune smiles on Erin at every turn. The scene with the teen mother is darker than the usual Hallmark fare. She’s distraught, and apologetic, but has no desire to remain in the baby’s life. She wants a “fresh start” in a new town. It’s a good thing there are no legal consequences for leaving a baby in a store.
The film throws some hijinks into the third act. A Christmas play, a broken water pipe and a cranky neighbor provide conflict. A costumer at the community theater is briefly suspected of being the baby’s birth mother. But the primary conflict is between Kelly and Erin.
Kelly is given several opportunities to speak her piece, even if her concerns are ignored. She eventually decides that her fears stem from childhood trauma, internalized homophobia and a fear of “sharing” her wife with someone else. Once she says these things aloud the problem is solved. The film ends before these issues can fester into resentment and divorce.
For more Hallmark recaps check out Afropig’s Hallmark Countdown to Christmas series. You can find more of my reviews on The Avocado, Letterboxd and Serializd. My podcast, Rainbow Colored Glasses, can be found here.