What goes through the minds of bullies? How many homophobes are closet cases? Why does queerness frighten the patriarchy? Claude Miller made his filmmaking debut in 1976 with The Best Way to Walk (La meilleure façon de marcher). The screenplay, co written by Miller and Luc Béraud, takes place at a children’s summer camp. Marc, an arrogant gym coach, clashes with Phillippe, a sensitive drama teacher. Both men grow dangerously obsessed, leaving onlookers uncertain whether they’ll kill or kiss each other. Actors Patrick Dewaere and Patrick Bouchitey ratchet up the danger, and the homoeroticism, as the film progresses. This candid look at masculinity can be an uncomfortable watch.

While some read Phillippe as trans coded, the character goes by he/him pronouns. I’ll use them in my spoiler filled recap.

Content warning for homophobic violence and sexual harassment.

It’s Raining, Men!

Scene One: A Summer Camp in France
PHILLIPE (drama teacher): It’s raining, kids. Class is cancelled.  Get to bed.
MARC (gym coach): The power went out again. Phillippe do you have…
PHILLIPPE: Don’t come in!
(Marc walks into Phillippe’s room and finds him wearing a red flamenco dress.)
MARC: … any candles? (Oh no. He’s hot.)

Scene Two: Classroom Follies
PHILLIPPE: I can explain.
MARC: Your kinks are none of my business.
PHILLIPPE: We should merge classes. Teach my kids sports and your kids drama.
(We watch the shared classes erupt into violence. Both in the field and on stage.)
MARC: Your queer experiment failed. Jocks and sissies don’t mix.

Scene Three: Rising Tension
PHILLIPPE: Everyone’s laughing at me. Did you tell?
MARC: I’ve kept quiet. You’ll find a way to make it up to me.
CHANTAL: Hi Phillipe! It’s me! Your neglected girlfriend!
MARC: Girlfriend? You don’t fool me Phillippe. I know who you really want.
(Marc continues to harass Phillippe, finally assaulting him in the locker room.)
MARC: Fight back you queer!

Scene Four: Costume Party
(Marc wears a tight matador costume. He’s surprised by Phillippe, wearing the red dress from before.)
MARC: (nervous in front of a crowd) Hahaha. You look beautiful darling.
PHILLIPPE: Tell me about it, stud. Let’s dance.
(They dance. Phillippe gropes Marc. Then kisses him. Marc almost kisses back. Then pushes Phillippe away.)
MARC: Freak.
PHILLIPPE: Slut.
(They brawl. Phillippe stabs Marc with a cake knife. The crowd stares in horror at the knife sticking out of Marc’s leg.)
MARC: He penetrated me… No homo?

Scene Five: Years Later
MARC (Now a realtor): And that’s the apartment. It’s pricey but it would be perfect for you and… your wife?
PHILLIPPE: I’m not married.
MARC: Oh. I am. To a woman. Ahem. It’s strange seeing you again.
(The men stare at each other.)
PHILLIPPE: So, should we just f…

THE END

Bully Me Softly

Are they gay? Bi? Cishet men who misunderstand each other? What motivates them, if not repressed lust? Would things improve if they’d just shagged? Or would it dial up their self-loathing even further? The story of the closeted bully is old. Tea and Sympathy featured one back in 1956. But Claude Miller’s film feels fresh. The internet may have changed the face of bullying. But the old tactics continue at the playground and the faculty lounge. The saddest scenes involve children in Phillippe’s class who become collateral damage.

Dewaere (Marc) died young and Bouchitey’s (Phillippe) career struggled. Miller would continue making films until his death in 2012. The Best Way to Walk is a stunning premiere work. I recommend it with reservations. The bullying scenes may be too unpleasant for some.

You can find more of my reviews on The Avocado, Letterboxd and Serializd. My podcast, Rainbow Colored Glasses, can be found here.