Hey, Rick is back. And he’s taking a flight exam with Maggie as his grader. But when Rick misreads a signal light, Maggie becomes concerned.

[Cue moose strutting to funky jazz music.]

Chris is on air, doing his usual morning news and commentary, and he announces that an old satellite is expected to make landfall soon. He compares this to an asteroid slamming into an ancient Earth, wiping out millions of years of dinosaur evolution. Foreshadowing!

Maurice shows a property to a couple of potential investors–really talking up some old dump for what a great bed and breakfast it would make. The place is cruddy, despite Maurice’s insistence that it just needs some spackle and a coat of paint and also some dubious talk of historical significance. But the two guys agree to buy it.

Rick is furious with Maggie. Not only did she refuse to sign off on his exam, she also reported him to the FAA for being colorblind. She’s equally mad at him for being dishonest with her and for trying to use his girlfriend to deceitfully pass his flight exam. Rick goes to see Dr. Fleischman, who tells him there’s no medical cure. It’s just his genes, and it’s not at all uncommon affliction. Fleischman concedes that Rick probably shouldn’t be flying, but he’s also floored by what he sees as Maggie’s personal betrayal.

An old friend of Holling’s comes to The Brick. The operative word here is “old,” at least from Shelly’s perspective. Anita is a lady of a certain age, and she and Holling go way back. As they reminisce about the era of the statehood controversy, Shelly seems to acutely feel her and Holling’s age gap for the first time. It doesn’t help when Anita mistakes Shelly for Holling’s daughter. It’s an understandable mistake, but Anita laughs when she learns that Holling and Shelly are partners. I don’t like Anita.

While Joel is scolding a stubbornly self-righteous Maggie (what if someone died?), Rick heads off to the woods to pout. Aaaaaand a chunk of the satellite lands on him. Ed and Maurice are at the scene the next morning when Joel shows up, understandably incredulous at the astronomically* unlikely event. Maurice: “I’ve been in combat; I’ve seen men die a hundred different ways. And I’ve never, ever seen anything like this.” The observers agree it’s like Rick and the satellite merged into one. Joel’s at a loss for what to do. Maurice tasks him with breaking the news to Maggie.

*pun intended.

Joel does not handle this well, to put it mildly. He joins a miffed Maggie at a table at The Brick, and he lets her go on for a minute about Rick being childish whereas she refuses to “have another death on [her] hands.” Then finally, Joel gets down to business and informs Maggie of her loss… by means of a joke.

Maurice has a celebratory dinner with the property investors. He has a lot in common with these guys, it turns out. It’s easy to forget that when he’s not shotgunning ducks or strongarming people into shady business deals, Maurice is a man of refined tastes. His houseguests appreciate the sensibilities of the gourmand who loves showtunes and fine wine. But Maurice eventually picks up on the fact that these two business partners aren’t just business partners.

Maggie is adding Rick and a miniature airplane to her macabre little dead boyfriend shrine, when Gary, one of Rick’s friends, shows up with cookies. It seems like a sweet gesture, until Gary makes a blunt and tasteless pass at Maggie. He’s so desperate he’s not afraid of the curse. It’d be worth it for a coupla good weeks. Maggie kicks the bum out of her cabin.

Chris is on the radio, musing over the difference between man and machine, when Maurice comes in to donate his record collection and his gourmet kitchen implements. Stung by the perceived association with his culinary and musical interests and the habits of “deviants,” he is giving up on the things he loves. When Chris suggests maybe Maurice has some tendencies he’s trying to suppress, Maurice becomes furious. At least he doesn’t assault him again. Progress?

Maurice calls off the deal with the gay couple, telling them he doesn’t want Cicely to become San Francisco. The fellow shrewd business men think he’s just playing hardball, and they offer him even more than they’d agreed to–and far more than the old house is worth. We’ve discussed Maurice as the good and bad of America before: War hero. Astronaut. Entrepreneur. Greedy bigot with no regard for the environment. Well we’re seeing him in internal conflict now. Maurice may be a homophobe… but he’s also a capitalist. Stunned at the huge offer, he takes the deposit check.

At Rick’s funeral, Chris asks the mourners to take a moment to consider Maggie, who is far too accustomed to grieving her lovers. It’s a nice idea, but listing them all and their causes of death is a bit much. Yeesh. Frozen on a glacier, accidentally drove onto a missile test range, something about potato salad (?). Poor Maggie. Poor Maggie’s boyfriends. The pallbearers come in with an oddly-shaped casket, skewered every which way with metal spokes. To Maggie’s frustration, the room erupts in laughter.

Shelly visits the Cicely Public Library (which you’ll remember is Ruth Anne’s store), looking for books about the 1950s. While there, she expresses envy for the older woman’s gray hair. When Holling gets home that evening, he’s greeted to a very retro scene. Shelly’s in a mid-century-style dress. She’s made casserole for dinner, and she wants to discuss things like Cold War espionage, Grace Kelly vs Audrey Hepburn, and polio. When Holling doesn’t go for it, Shelly storms out of the room. The next day, Holling apologizes. The age gap doesn’t bother him, and who needs to talk all the time? “I don’t care about your mind; I want you for your body” is enough to assure Shelly.

Maurice is conflicted. Money vs bigotry. What is a red-blooded American boy to do? If he lets these two get a toehold in Cicely, before you know it, the Alaskan Riviera will be full of florists and dog groomers. Chris tells Maurice of the Janissaries, an elite military unit of the Ottoman Empire who “preferred the company of men.” Finding a sense of military honor in common with “Nancy boys,” Maurice has all the excuse he needs to let the deal go through and be on friendly terms with the investors.

Maggie is treated with an odd mix of pity and fear. Ruth Anne tries to convince her that her luck will turn around–like a guy she knew who won a set of encyclopedias. One woman tries to get her to have an affair with her husband, in a very Cicely attempt at spousal murder. She’s sulking at The Brick when Joel comes to express his condolences and apologize for his dumb joke. Joel pish-poshes this “curse” business, and he refuses to keep his distance from Maggie. He hates to see his friend so alone. And furthermore, he can’t stand to let superstition cast civilization back into the Dark Ages. On his insistence, the two dance. So do Holling and Shelly. And so do Erick and Ron. And that’s how the episode ends.

And that’s the end of Season 2!

Miscellaneous notes, quotes, and anecdotes:

– In regards to Rick’s “little problem with red and green,” I’m on Team Maggie here. Someone who can’t tell the “stop” color from the “go” color shouldn’t be a pilot, and Rick was wrong to try to use Maggie to get around this.

– Shelly’s sweet but unhelpful idea to help Rick is to have everyone in town write a letter. Like when Cagney and Lacey was cancelled and fans got it back on the air.

– Anita and Holling are being massive dicks to Shelly here, alienating her and making eyes at each other while talking about the good old days. And Shelly does herself no favor by responding with high school anecdotes.

– This tune took some searching!

– lol at the Cicely library. History is right next to Theosophy. Across from the Top Ramen.

– The retro space antennas sticking every which way out of Rick’s body is an utterly ridiculous, tasteless spectacle, and I am here for every bit of it.

– Holling’s “Don’t worry, babe, I want you for your body” resolution is what I believe TV Tropes would call a “Broken Aesop.”

– The Janissaries being portrayed as gay supersoldiers was an oversimplification of some complex sexuality in the Ottoman Empire.

– Poor Maggie.

– Poor Rick.

– If you’re following along on Amazon, for some reason there’s another episode listed after this one. That episode actually belongs mid-way through Season 3. Make no mistake, this is the finale of Season 2.