You are now entering Ad Space, a realm of commercials, brought before us so we might examine how they work, and discuss why we both love and hate them so. So it is written …

The Product:
Mountain Dew Kickstart

The Promotion:

The Pitch:
We heard you like “lol so randomz”, so we “lol so randomzed” this up.

This ad has little going for it, other than being so weird it can’t help but stand out.

There is a tissue thin connection between the abomination that is Puppymonkeybaby and the latest variety of Mountain Dew being hocked. Namely that, just as Puppymonkeybaby is “three awesome things combined”, so is Mountain Dew Kickstart, being made of “Dew – Juice – Caffeine”.

Except, let’s break that down. First off, Mountain Dew already contains both juice and caffeine. So not only does “Dew -Juice – Caffeine” in no way distinguish Kickstart from regular Mountain Dew, but it’s not even three things, since the first thing already encompasses the other two things. It’s like advertising your burgers as being a triple combination of Beef, Cow, and Meat.

But even if you accept this “Dew – Juice – Caffeine” conceit, the problem still arises that you want people to think it’s an appealing combination. So, naturally, you compare it to Puppymonkeybaby, a being which must be far at the top of list of Things That Should Not Be. I mean, for gods’ sake, you even made the puppy head of this thing a pug, the ugliest of puppies.

Look, it’s a memorable ad, I’ll give ’em that. Depending on your sensibilities, it might even be weird and random enough to count as funny. What it doesn’t achieve is making me want to drink Mountain Dew.

… granted, that’s a tall order to ask of anyone.