Owen and Maddy are depressed teens trapped in the suburbs. They bond over a TV show called The Pink Opaque. The series follows psychic girls battling horrifying monsters. Soon Maddy proposes an adventure of their own. Owen refuses. Without Maddy, life feels empty. I Saw the TV Glow asks what would happen if Wendy refused to go to Neverland with Peter Pan.

Owen is played at different ages by Ian Foreman and Justice Smith. The character is nearly silent, weighing each word before speaking. Maddy is played by Jack Haven with a nervous energy. They’re older and more confident than Owen. But not necessarily wiser. The kids are frustrating and heartbreaking in different ways. Their 90’s suburban life is both banal and surreal. Writer and director Jane Schoenbrun’s work has been compared to such disparate directors as David Lynch and Gregg Araki.

Owen and Maddy are heavily trans coded. They lack the vocabulary to articulate this. They’re in, what would now be called, the egg state. The film reminded me of my own suburban upbringing. I was an outcast long before I realized I was gay. I’d eventually find community among the drama club. But I spent most of middle school sitting in front of a television. Decades later I can remember bland Nickelodean shows with more clarity than the confusing math lessons and traumatizing gym classes. I left my home town after high school. Everyone I knew left soon after. If I visited today it would feel like a graveyard.

I Saw the TV Glow features scary monsters. There are painful depictions of gender dysphoria and disassociate disorders. But Glow’s real horror is that of stagnation. Owen’s refusal to leave their childhood home is a symptom of a larger problem. A refusal to change. A refusal to face oneself. Some critics were frustrated by the film’s lack of momentum. Of Owen’s inability to behave like a traditional protagonist. Those who can’t identify with Owen’s situation are lucky. It’s a bleak place to live.

You can find more of my reviews on The Avocado, Letterboxd and Serializd. My podcast, Rainbow Colored Glasses, can be found here.