The opening shot is an image of Shelly on the scale in Dr. Fleischman’s office. She seems enthusiastic about her condition–and even more enthusiastic about food. Fleischman is concerned that she’s gaining weight too fast, but not so concerned that he keeps her from eating his breakfast. He takes a blood sample, for which he has to bribe her with a Mars bar. This show can be really cute sometimes.
[Cue moose strutting to funky jazz music]
Back at KBHR, Maurice and Chris are arguing about what to play on the radio. Ed sits in front of a charmingly 80s-looking computer, day-dreaming of the two in a very Hollywood fight–Indiana Jones meets Dirty Harry, complete with oversized pistols and a monkey. It turns out Maurice lent Ed his word processor so he could write a script. It also turns out writing a script isn’t easy. Ed, lover of cinema, is having a tough time coming up with his own ideas. He has writer’s block, right off the bat.
These little fantasies will be a leitmotif through the episode: Midnight Cowboy, starring Chris and Joel. Maurice as the white hat in a generic western saloon scene. Ed’s lack of original ideas must be frustrating for the would-be writer, but I had fun watching them.
Back at The Brick, as Shelly grazes off of patrons’ plates and Marilyn prepares for a dance contest, a young hothead named Wayne comes in demanding to speak to Shelly. The two bicker like a couple of kids (which isn’t far from the truth), as Holling tries to give them some respectful distance, but he’s obviously listening in. So he drops some dishes when Wayne tells Shelly he wants to marry her (former) best friend Cindy, but he can’t until he divorces her.
Rick shows up to Dr. Fleischman’s for a pilot’s physical. He’s in perfect health, unblemished except for… a blemish. Fearing it may be (probably isn’t, but maybe) cancer, Joel removes it for biopsy. Rick, wary of the O’Connell curse, fears for his safety.
Though Shelly tries to downplay her alcohol-inspired high school courthouse wedding, Holling is uncomfortable living with a married woman. He suggests they move apart until this is sorted out and offers to be the one to leave. But Shelly insists it’s his place, and she goes to stay with Maggie.
Maggie and Rick bicker over the likelihood of him having a deadly cancer. The odds are a thousand to one. Why would he be the one? He answers by eying her. Meanwhile, Holling does his best to keep his composure while his baby mama to be’s legal husband grumpily rants and says some crude things about Shelly. (He reminds me of her father we met in a previous episode, and I think this is intentional.)
The blood test results come in: Shelly is not pregnant after all. It’s all psychological, the sapphire nipples and everything. She gripes about Holling’s stubbornness to her new roommate. With Rick hiding from the O’Connell curse in Fairbanks, Maggie is receptive to the criticism of men. Nobody makes sense, but at least women don’t get all bent out of shape about it. Wayne pays a visit to Maggie’s to give Shelly “another chance.” A confused Shelly doesn’t know what to do.
Joel swings by the barber shop, where Maggie is getting a haircut. He complements her ‘do and asks her if she wants to join him to see Marilyn dance at a powwow. For once, Joel seems to be acting decently towards her for the sake of being decent towards her, but with her man hiding from her supposed deadly curse, she responds a little defensively.
Back at The Brick, Shelly is annoyed by Wayne’s lack of maturity, though she displays her own–dancing with him in front of Holling to make Holling jealous. Maurice does not take too kindly to this. “Holling? Who’s the kid? And why is he smearing ketchup all over Shelly’s ass?” Holling ends up back at Fleischman’s with a debilitating crick in his neck.
He visits with Shelly that night, wearing a neck brace, and asks Shelly to get back together with him. Why let “a silly little thing like a marriage vow” come between them? She’s uninterested. “If I can’t count on you when something as piddly as a husband pops up, what happens when the really big stuff hits?”
Over breakfast at Fleischman’s cabin, Ed tells him he doesn’t think he has what it takes to be a script writer in the new, high-concept Hollywood. But Joel encourages him, citing Woody Allen, who doesn’t write big blockbuster hits. Woody writes what he knows. Ed seems inspired.
Shelly breaks it off with Wayne, realizing she just doesn’t love him anymore. She’s outgrown him. And off he goes, back to Saskatchewan.
Maggie and Rick nervously wait for the test results. A call from Anchorage reveals that Rick is just fine. The two are relieved… and Maggie dumps Rick, who “ran like a rabbit” from the O’Connell curse. “You may not be dying, but you’re gone!”
Shelly and Holling reconcile as she massages his neck. He apologizes for not sticking with her through a tough time. She apologizes for forgetting she was married.
Joel meets Maggie at the powwow, which turns out to be more of a talent show, complete with off-key singing and a bad stand-up routine. Marilyn’s dance is a definite highlight. Joel watches on, impressed as his otherwise goofy employee performs with surprising poise and dignity.
Ed’s writer’s block has cleared, and he begins writing his script. My Movie, about an 18-year-old Indian who lives in Cicely, Alaska, population 839.
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