You are now entering Ad Space, a realm of commercials, brought before us so we might examine how they work, and discuss why we both love and hate them so. So it is written …

The Product:
Piedmont Airlines

The Promotion:

The Pitch:
We don’t cut corners to cut losses … except for runway security.

“Mr. Piedmont, have you seen the new commercial?”

“Yes, a hell of a thing. We really gave the competition what for, eh?”

“I’m … I’m not sure that’s the message that got across, sir.”

“What are you talking about? The guy says right there our message to the giant airlines is ‘Don’t look back – somebody’s gaining on you’.”

“Yes, sir. But the … um, the airplane? The one about to run the guy over?”

“That represents us. We’re gaining on the competition, coming up on them from behind. Don’t they teach symbolism in schools anymore?”

“They do, sir, they do. It’s just, the guy in front of the plane … he also represents us, right?”

“Of course. Lad’s our spokesman.”

“So, if he represents us, and the plane’s coming up on him from behind, and is about to squash him flat … Well, I mean, sir? Does that mean that we’re … ?”

“…
“…
“… DAMNATION!”