Seasons Greetings from Cherry Lane follows the formula of last year’s film. Three families, from three eras, spend their Christmas in the same suburban house. The families from last year each get their own sequel as the Cherry Lane multiverse forms. Jonathan Bennett returns to the Hallmark channel as another neurotic sitcom gay. I love that this has become an annual tradition. (Though I hope they coax Luke Macfarlane into a few more of these.)
Let’s compare families in this spoiler filled recap.
Christmas Problems
Christmas 2024
GAY COUPLE: It’s our second Christmas on Cherry Lane. Our daughter is growing so fast.
WACKY CARPENTER: I was wondering if you could use a third…
GAY COUPLE: What!?
WACKY CARPENTER: set of hands to cook Christmas dinner.
GAY COUPLE: Oh. Nonsense. You’re our guest! Just help us hide our gifts from each other.
JONATHAN BENNETT: I found my husband’s long lost grandfather!
VINCENT RODRIGUEZ III: And I recreated my husband’s childhood Christmas wreath.
WACKY CARPENTER: One of these gifts sounds better than the other.
JONATHAN BENNETT: Mine right? Everyone likes being ambushed by relatives they’ve never met. Egad! I lost grandpa at the airport!!!
Christmas 1951
DR. HUSBAND (Broadway’s Corey Cott): My wife fractured her arm.
NICE NEIGHBORS: How? You didn’t…
ARTIST WIFE: I slipped on the icy stairs.
NICE NEIGHBORS: Oh.
ARTIST WIFE: Now I need to decorate the tree and cook dinner.
DR. HUSBAND: Nonsense little missy. You need to rest. Doctor will take care of everything.
ARTIST WIFE: Doctor just set the kitchen on fire.
DR. HUSBAND: Egad!
Christmas 2003
MR. PERFECT: Our first Christmas on Cherry Lane!
MRS. PERFECT: Everything’s going to be perfect.
HIS PARENTS: It’s time to hang the wreath and cook the turkey.
HER PARENTS: Screw that. It’s time to hang the star and cook the ham.
HIS PARENTS: You go to hell.
MR. & MRS. PERFECT: Egad!
Christmas Compromises
1951
NICE NEIGHBORS: We gathered the people of color in the neighborhood to cook Christmas dinner for this nice white couple.
DR. HUSBAND: Thanks! You’re swell. Can you send my wife a daily Christmas card when I ship off to Korea?
ARTIST WIFE: If you survive, we’ll make a baby. Yes Hallmark! I’m talking about sex!
2003
PARENTS: Turkey or ham? Wreath or star? What do you kids want?
MR. & MRS. PERFECT: We don’t know! I guess we’re not so perfect! (Sob.)
PARENTS: Ha! Welcome to marriage. Oh look. A Christmas card from Korea. It sure got here late.
2024
KINDLY NEIGHBOR: You gays of the magi wasted so much time hiding gifts that you haven’t spent time together.
GAY COUPLE: You’re right! Let’s adopt more kids!
GRANDPA: Ding dong! I found your house. It’s a good thing I approve of gay interracial relationships. And that a doctor in Korea once saved my life.
KINDLY NEIGHBOR: My family has seen some lovely people live here. A shame no one wants to stay in a murder house.
GAY COUPLE: What?
KINDLY NEIGHBOR: I’m kidding! Probably. Watch the other sequels to find out.
THE END?
The Multiverse Stirs
ADORABLE KID: What’s a tradition?
VINCENT RODRIGUEZ III: It’s something you do to honor all the people that you’ve loved. It’s a connection to the past that you can carry into the future.
The stakes are lower than last years’ film. And the connections between the families are looser. But it’s still a pleasant story. Now that Hallmark is in the sequels game I want folks to start interacting across franchises. Perhaps Jonathan Bennett’s characters from The Groomsmen and The Christmas House can compete in a decorating contest on Cherry Lane? Or maybe Happy Holidays from Cherry Lane will investigate the Elder Gods living in the basement.
For more Hallmark recaps check out Afropig’s fantastic Hallmark Countdown to Christmas series. You can find more of my reviews on The Avocado, Letterboxd and Serializd. My podcast, Rainbow Colored Glasses, can be found here.