Well, I guess it’s time to watch Hallmark again what with Christmas being here. Rather than start off with the first movie in this year’s Countdown to Christmas (I watched it, it was fine), I’ve chosen a film that 1) has already aired and 2) has the stupidest name: ‘Tis the Season to be Irish. Apparently, you can only be Irish in the winter. Any other time of the year is simply too gauche. Let’s find out what it’s about.
Rose, a nomadic house flipper, heads to Ireland to renovate and sell a cottage, but her plans are upended when she meets Sean, a local realtor determined to preserve his town’s heritage. As she works on the cottage and embraces Irish Christmas traditions, Rose finds herself falling for Sean and questioning her fear of settling down. Together, they must confront their pasts and discover if love is worth taking root. Starring Fiona Gubelmann and Eoin Macken.
A film about housing in Ireland? Oh baby, now this is a hot topic. Let’s just say everyone is PISSED that houses cost so much in the republic and it’s causing unrest. So, making the protagonist a house flipper is certainly a choice.
RECAP
We meet American scumbag Rose, a house flipper. Rose and her friend begin showing Rose’s most recent renovation and it just so happens the first couple to see it want to buy. A million dollars made in 15 minutes.
Rose and her friend celebrate offloading a death trap to an unsuspecting couple by making themselves at home in the house. Rose reveals that she wants to go to Ireland because that’s “where wishes come true.” It’s the Disney World of Europe. Suck it, Disneyland Paris.
Rose’s friend looks up houses in Ireland and finds a cottage listed for €15,000. Unfortunately, the cottage’s status changes to “pending” which convinces Rose to immediately call up the seller and buy the house sight unseen. We can safely assume that she has fallen for multiple crypto scams by now.
Now that she owns property there, Rose heads to Ireland. Upon arriving in the small town of Dunclare, an Irishman named Sean offers to help her with her luggage and drive her to her new digs. Rose opts to take a cab and once at her destination, she encounters the seller who is Sean. He discovers that she is a house flipper and immediately hates her. He then shows Rose her house.
Sean makes her impulse buy even worse by informing her that it has no heat, water, electricity, and is a historical property that she can’t fix without approval. She goes back into town and checks into a local inn. While waiting for her room, Rose meets an English woman and another American who informs her that it could take over a year to fix a crap cottage like the one she bought.
Rose meets a sheep and visits her house. Sean is already there and reveals that he is the historical preservationist she has to go through before making any changes to the house. Rose goes to a café and meets the English woman again who is shockingly lonely. Rose finds a way out of the conversation and goes to a local market. She eats a plum pudding.
The next day at the inn, everyone is making their very own wicker man for Wren Day (aka the day after Christmas). It’s totally pagan and Hallmark should be ashamed of itself.
Rose and her new American friend go for lunch and once again bump into the lonely English woman. She’s a pig who has ordered three full mains and blames it on being a widow. After eating the English lady’s lunch, Rose goes back to the market for more plum pudding. Also at the market are Sean and his mum. They invite the pudding aficionado to their house for dinner.
We learn that Sean has a DEAD FATHERTM. Not to be upstaged, Rose tells Sean’s mother about how her DEAD MOTHERTM visited Dunclare a long time ago.
The next day, Rose puts three swatches of paint on a door and calls it a day. She goes for a walk with Sean and they both discover that they are both single.
Back at the inn, Rose is ambushed by the English lady who invites her and the other American to the local pub for the evening. Sean is there and attempts to pile some alcohol into them. But because this is Hallmark, no one gets drunk in Ireland.
Rose has finished her work and begins to show the house to potential buyers.
At the market, Rose once again stumbles into the English woman who starts going on about her DEAD HUSBAND’STM ashes. Rose hugs her and gives the lady a Christmas pudding because she doesn’t know what the hell to say.
Rose goes back to Sean’s mum’s house. Sean’s mum leaves her son and Rose alone together to do some sexy bonding.
We discover that Sean had a girlfriend once, but they broke up and he’s been sad about it for years. The next morning, Rose and Sean receive a bid on the renovated cottage.
Sean touches Rose’s butt.
Rose meets with the potential buyers and asks if they’re planning to flip it. The couple says they plan to “gut it and turn it into a luxury property.” Rose, the professional house flipper, is disgusted that someone would take her idea. She rats them out to Sean, but he doesn’t really care if they want to flip it.
Sean and Rose bond over a Costco Christmas gift basket. This gets Rose so hot that she tries to kiss Sean, but HE GIVES HER THE CHEEK!
Rose, the pop star, and the sad English woman go to spread the DEAD HUSBAND’STM ashes into the sea while the pop star sings Danny Boy. It’s meant to be touching but it’s just weird. Despite getting a her own personal concert, the English lady doesn’t spread the ashes.
At Sean’s mum’s Christmas Eve party, Sean asks Rose to stay but she’s already bought a house in Scotland. She flips the proposition on him and asks Sean to come with her. Sean says no.
Sean’s mum tells her son that he’s being stupid, and Scotland is only like an hour away. The Irishman rushes to all of Rose’s usual haunts to tell her that he WILL go to Aberdeen or whatever. He enlists a sheep to find her. The sheep takes him to Rose’s house where she is reading a book. Rose tells Sean that she’s found her home: it’s Sean. It’s been three weeks. They kiss.
REVIEW
They needed more of that nice sheep in this. I also actually don’t know if Sean is going to Scotland or what. Overall, I think the two leads did what they could to make the most of this unfortunate situation. Also, it’s great to know people can just buy whole houses on a moronic whim.
Rating: 3 mortgages out of 5
STRAY THOUGHTS
- Ireland must have some mind-blowing tax breaks for production companies. I know first-hand that they film US game shows in the country!
- That cottage has to be cold as hell. It’s next to the water.
- I don’t think the English lady that Rose meets is English.
- The sheep’s name is Lamb Chop.
- Sean decorates a fairy tree. Irish people love fairy stuff. Also, fairies are horrible.
- I’m gonna tell you one thing. There’s a serious backlog on getting a builder to do anything in Ireland. And it costs as much as a house. Either Rose is a certified electrician/plumber/builder or the fairies living in the tree renovated the place.
- Rose is blind. What is this font size?!
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