WARNING: THE FOLLOWING HEADER CONTAINS EXTREME SPOILERS FOR THE MOST RECENT EPISODE OF DISNEY JR.’S ARIEL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

One day under the sea, Ariel and her friends went to their octopus buddy’s birthday party. The octopus was named Ravi, I guess, and he ran a smoothie stand or something. Ariel and her friends would get smoothies there, and they would never have to pay for them, but since Ariel was royalty I doubt Ravi had much of a say on the matter.

Anyway, Ravi was sad because his “best friend” Navi hadn’t shown up for his party, and they hadn’t brought him a cake, either. Ravi was convinced that Navi must have forgotten his birthday, and let me stress to you, Ravi was a grown-ass adult octopus. And he was dumping his personal shit on a bunch of little kids. This really wasn’t their problem, but Ariel decided to help because preschool show, volunteering her friends to stay behind and “cheer Ravi up” while she went off to talk some sense into Navi.

Alright, before I go on, I must address what an awkward situation this must have been for all parties involved. Imagine, for a moment, that you’re a grown-ass octopus, and now you are stuck with two children you barely know (as far as you’re aware, their only purpose on earth is to be “Ariel’s friends”). They have been told to “cheer you up” and you have no clue how you’re supposed to respond. What if you’re Ariel’s friends? How the fuck are you supposed to entertain a grown-ass octopus? And you don’t even have Ariel around! You probably don’t know how to function without her!

Anyway, Ariel swam over to Navi’s place. She told her that Ravi missed her at the party, and instead of saying “sure thing, I’m on my way” like any sane octopus would, she instead decided to spill the tea about her relationship to a child. “I didn’t get an invitation in the mail, so I don’t want to go!” Again, I can’t stress enough that she was doing this to a little kid who already given herself the uncomfortable task of dragging her blue octopus ass to a stupid birthday party. Why did Ariel even bother? She should have known this was a lost cause from the start, since it’s common knowledge that octopuses suck.

Finally, Navi caved and agreed to go to the party. Ravi was thrilled at first to see her, until…

“Wait a minute. Where is my birthday cake?”

It was then when Ariel lost her shit completely. This grown-ass octopus was actually trying to guilt trip his friend for not bringing a cake to a party she didn’t even know she was invited to! Ariel couldn’t take it anymore! But she had to maintain a calm demeanor. She tricked the two octopuses into swimming into a cave where a sushi chef lived, and that was the end of Ariel’s unbearable involvement with them. The end.

Have a great day, y’all!