Wild Wild West opened 25 years ago this summer. Following the enormous success of Men in Black in 1997, reuniting Will Smith with director Barry Sonnenfeld for another action comedy seemed like a recipe for surefire success. Amazingly, the steampunk-ish science-fiction western in which a hammy Kenneth Branagh plays a wheelchair-bound cyborg villain who wants revenge for losing the Civil War was kind of a weird outing, a bit too surreal for many, as Wild Wild West was a box office disappointment, grossing $113 million against a $175 million budget. Think of it as the cowboy equivalent of Batman and Robin.

Still, it did have a huge marketing campaign to help it giddy up into theaters, including a mighty fine Burger King promotion, partner. This came from the period where the restaurant chain was trying to push their “Big Kids Meals,” which were like the regular kids meals, but bigger. Also, BK used to have chicken tenders.

I actually did have the one of Will Smith on his horse, which was pretty cool, as it would launch him off the saddle. What I didn’t have was the water gun, because it was, you know, a gun, and guns were too “violent” for me even when they just squirted water. I’m not bitter!

For adults (meaning the cool ones who don’t still love kids meal toys), there was a set of glasses. No, I’m not talking about dinnerware. I’m talking about fucking sunglasses, and honestly, these look really nice! Like I would have totally worn these all the time if I had gotten them! Because I’m awesome like that!

Have a rooting’ tootin’ night, y’all!