Hello! Welcome to COTL, a discussion place for BIPOC. Posted the first 3 Wednesdays of the month
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The CotL usually only runs the first 3 weeks of a month, but I hadn’t realised that Juneteenth fell right on what would have been the last CotL post of the month. I couldn’t ignore that celebration (please be sure to checkout Headphone Princesses Juneteenth PT post: https://the-avocado.org/2024/06/19/the-juneteenth-politics-thread/#comment-6484061853). However, there was one more day I could possibly post this thread: so here we are.
I wanted to highlight the struggles & Pride of one particular group of people during Pride month that seemed very relevant here: Transgender people of colour.
Two weeks ago, I used a featured image (of a potent pride flag with a multi-coloured black power fist at its center) I’d not seen much of before, but then again I’m not necessarily hip to a lot of things.[footnote]I live a kind of insular life, trapped inside my own head, struggling to connect genuinely with real people. Probably something trauma related 🤷🏾♀️. Bangs hands on car & fakes NY accent: “HEY! I’m tryin over here” … I maybe a tad too caught up in pop culture 😅[/footnote] This particular Pride Flag: Transgender people of color (QTPOC) Pride Flag incorporates the transgender colour themes (to make this the ultimate colour mix imo 🤟🏽) & was just too dope not to use[footnote]I had been searching for a pride image that reflected the cool regularly featured multi-ethnic image we usually have uptop (don’t worry it’ll be back soon 🤗).[/footnote] This flag nails the sentiment I think, of diversity in all forms:
This flag is meant to acknowledge Queer Trans people of color: highlighting many of the struggles facing them. Especially those who’ve actually pushed LGBTQ+ rights since the earliest days of the pride movements, but aren’t acknowledged or heavily marginalised: both historically and in reality (though there’s been a push against this of late, perhaps in particular due to BLM).
“The Trans Flag was specifically added to highlight the much higher rates of violence, sexual assault and death amongst Trans people of colour than the general population.”
https://flag.library.lgbt/flags/qpoc
Aparently the flag became popular during the Black Lives Matter movement? I wasn’t in America, so perhaps others can speak to it (or perhaps seeing it)? Another reason to celebrate Juneteenth last week & African American equal rights movements: for helping to push the struggles of all people!
I also wanted to highlight a show that means a lot to me: POSE.
The truth is, life is incredibly difficult as a Trans person of colour & whilst I’ve touched on some of my own struggles,* It can all be too much. I’ve shared a fair few times an image (of the stats) for the last year for violence & murder rates amongst trans people in America, but this is meant to be a Pride thread, so I’m gonna try to keep it positive. Hence talking about POSE.
*Consequently I feel like I should apologise for sort of making these threads about me, but also… not 🤔🤷🏾♀️. I dunno y’all.[footnote]I feel like apologising is a quintessential British thing, but also for people with class and manners 🤷🏾♀️🤭. Not that Brits are always classy or Mindful or I’d probably be posting this from my beautiful motherland 😒[/footnote] I believe I am one of only three trans women of colour who comment regularly on this entire site? Even then I only really feel like I’m at the beginning of a journey, as opposed to being fully out & proud (I’ve talked more about my Queer experiences in the previous QPOC thread). I figured: well maybe it’s okay to get more personal in a thread dedicated to such people, as an actual insight? 🤷🏾♀️[footnote]I feel I should also apologise for my Liberal use of the shrug emoji, but if Science has taught me anything: it’s that there is so much we don’t know & for me I try to err on the side of caution (& caution has been a bedrock of my life 🥲. Pew pew pew!), but also trying to learn & improve myself… Better to be open to facts & figures and wisdom, than to declare oneself the supreme arbiter on everything, despite the truth: we don’t know everything. In fact we’re all ignorant to something or another. Sorry to get all long-winded & philosophical 🙃[/footnote]
Hopefully I won’t talk about the show POSE too much (or get spoilery for the show at large), but I chose to talk about POSE here because of how close it err’s on the side of reality. How genuinely difficult some of the struggles can really be for trans women of colour & yet be about true PRIDE. Sure it isn’t perfect & has some issues being a Ryan Murphy joint, but for me the lows (which aren’t really lows) are actually emotionally devastating storylines that hit way harder than I wanted. Despite this the highs follow significantly quickly. Sometimes by the end of the episode, as typified by the very last episode I watched (just last week):
S3E3 [footnote]Yeah that’s right. It’s taking me ages to finish the three season show (with only 8-10 episodes per season) 🤭. A surprise for a serial binger like me.[/footnote] The truth is it just hits too goddamn hard people! 🙃 I have to take breaks. This last episode I knew very, very quickly how bad the starting scene would go & it took me an actual whole week to get back to it!
I had hoped not to get to into the episode, as I talked about it at length in a PT post & a subsequent Couch avocado post the following day,* but the devil is in the details.
*Here’s a link: https://the-avocado.org/2024/06/20/couch-avocados-tv-discussion-thread-june-20th-2024/#comment-6484748859
I’m gonna link the “abusive” clip that feels all too familiar, as I feel it showcases the reality that I think most people would rather pretend doesn’t happen & showcases the very real struggle for queer people of colour (TW: verbal & psychological abuse):
Apparently Dominique Jackson the incredible actress featured has gone on record (an ABC nightlife interview?) to say that something very similar happened to her, when her mother found her “trunk” & kicked her out. I can believe it. Apparently she’s on much better terms now. I can believe that just as much.[footnote]it amazes me how selfish some parents can be (or humanity i guess) & how short-sightedness needs to give way first?[/footnote]
I wasn’t sure about posting this scene as I found it very difficult and a bit triggering, but it’s a part of life (I guess) & is a colour in the spectrum of life? Abuse, violence, murder (I’m not watching that Jeffrey Dahmer show, sorry not sorry) & societies must come to terms with the level of it targeted specifically at Trans people of colour (women especially), before it can get better. I dunno y’all. I’m using a TV show to try & talk through my own complicated life & issues 🤷🏾♀️.
TL;DR: Anyways! The reason I bring up this show is because despite a difficult, but resonating narrative start the episode earns the challenge & struggle to reclaim ones sense of self & most importantly PRIDE:
I’ve never participated in a ballroom scene, but Damn do those outfits (& the entire scene) slay! Especially Sleeping Beauty & Maleficent 🤩! It says a lot that I can leave the episode quite happy.
Prompt: open prompt, but it being Pride month: I’d be interested in hearing from others here about their experiences with Queerness? Even if it’s tangential: friend, family, etc? It’s not really something that’s openly discussed in families, as far as I gather.[footnote]a fellow desi trans friend of mine hasn’t told her parents, even though she’s been on HRT for months: they just think she’s looking more beautiful 😅. I think ignorance is the key there.[/footnote] Certainly not open in mine. Hard to be proud, when you’re forced to hide, or made to feel ashamed, or worse…
Personally, I’m looking forward to attending the London Pride parade this Saturday 29th 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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