The Flintstones opened 30 years ago this week. The live-action version of the beloved cartoon sitcom went through quite a number of rocky hurdles during its production (including, allegedly, a screenplay touched by no less than 30 different writers), but in the end it paid off, at least from a financial standpoint, as the film was a dino-sized hit. In fact Universal was so happy with how things were going that they wanted to greenlight two sequels which would have been shot back-to-back, but star John Goodman (who is, in all fairness, perfectly cast as Fred) was so unhappy with that idea that he supposedly went to producer Steven Spielberg personally and begged him not to have him do it. As a result, a far less successful (and much more pricey) prequel The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas would arrive in theaters six years later (but that’s a subject for another header).

Now The Flintstones had an absolutely massive marketing campaign, one which went well beyond Fruity Pebbles cereal boxes. How big are we talking? Well…

So yeah, things got a little silly. Then again, we are talking about a film in which Halle Berry plays a character named “Sharon Stone” (and yes, the real Sharon Stone was offered the part first before turning it down), so how could selling it not be a goofy ordeal? And no one went more all-in on all things Bedrock than McDonald’s, which fully transformed themselves into “RocDonald’s” just to keep in the spirit of all of those stupid Flintstones puns. You could even get a T-shirt to celebrate the occasion, because if there’s one place I go for fashion, it’s fucking Mickey D’s!

But it didn’t stop there. Of course there was a Happy Meal promotion, in this case consisting of five cars which each came with a building they could “park” in. I wanna say these toys had label sheets, which was a rarity back then, but I could be wrong, as sadly I didn’t get any of these. I remember seeing the poster for them at the drive-thru at a McDonald’s one time, though, and hey, maybe one day I can swipe them for a sweet deal on eBay. They do look pretty cool.

But…it didn’t end there either! You want some Flintstones China? Well, you could get some Flintstones China at McDonald’s too! These glasses look classy, similar to the ones they did for Batman Forever a year later, though I’m not sure what beverage is most ideal for these. Soda? Beer? All I know is I’d be getting these bad boys out anytime I had guests over (oh who am I kidding? I never have guests).

Man, I non-ironically miss those days when fast food chains would just fully commit to the bit and market a summer blockbuster for several months. Let’s bring this era of capitalism back, America! I want to return to a time when I could go to Taco Bell and get a “Twisters Taco” or Burger King to purchase a “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes Proximus Caesar Salad”!

Have a great night, y’all!