Evil is almost impossible to summarize at large at this point in the history of the show. Sure, at its core the show is about Kristen, a skeptical clinical psychologist who moonlights as an expert witness working together with David, an earnest priest who believes in and fights the supernatural. The classic early Mulder/Scully “will they or won’t they” dynamic is strong and incredibly compelling, and throughout the show we’ve had the same Big Bads, Supreme Weasel Leland Townsend and his boss and sometimes shrink, The Devil.
But SO MANY other plots have come and gone. One of Kristen’s daughters was maybe a vampire? Another was maybe possessed. Her husband may or may not be taken hostage by another demon. Teammate Ben dated two sisters in one body for a while. David may or may not speak to saints. Kristen’s mom is probably evil? This silliness is part of what makes this campy and self-aware show so much fun. And so I figured I’d recap this final season. Expect these to go up Thursdays or Fridays each week! I’ll recap what happens each episode, but I refuse to pretend I’ll be able to remember plot arcs, mostly because they don’t really exist in this show.
Previously on: Dave has doubts about the source of his visions, Andy is possessed or something, Sheryl works for the baddies.
We open with a very shell-shocked Kristen, and Leland and Sheryl trying to convince her to calm down, it’s JUST that you might have made a baby with your mortal enemy. Kristen points out that Leland is likely unqualified to care for a gerbil, let alone a baby. At home, I think for a minute Kristen is about to bust out her Murdering Pickaxe but instead she rids her home of everything even vaguely religious and replaces it with SCIENCE! Take that, Devil. Sheryl shows up to apologize and explain why people take jobs. Kristen tells her to fuck off.
David is studying Revelations, specifically demon children. Wallace Shawn is here! He’s a skeptic taking over for Dead Priest Matt, and the Team is being sent to prove that a particle accelerator is not in fact opening the gates of Hell. Which means you know it’s probably
opening the gates of Hell. At the Garrow Research Facility, we think David is horny for Kristen (he is, generally), but in this specific instance he’s found a little devil on the wall.
This very smarmy guy at Garrow is clearly being set up as the Baddie of the episode. He reminds me of Jean-Ralphio. We spot that same graffiti again, then hear some mysterious noises. Probably squirrels. We get a false scare, then David gets a note on his adorable little
scooter that says, “they’re lying.” David follows up with the writer, who is married to Samara from The Ring. He says a bottomless sinkhole was cemented over during the creation of Garrow. Ben, as always, explains that all of this spooky stuff is being faked, but David remains skeptical of the skepticism.
POPUP BOOK TIME! I want one of these for real. This was all just the cold open?! I never skip the intro as I don’t want to be haunted.
The daughters are having a silence contest. Kristen tells them that Grandma is banned from the house, and they will no longer attend Sunday Mass. Andy rightfully points out to Kristen that she can’t avoid the subject of “ghosts and demons” if she keeps up her job, but
Kristen isn’t going to give up that sweet, sweet David time. Then Andy gets a prank phone call that seems like it might have activated him as some sort of demonic sleeper agent.
Ben has a confusing discussion about physics and now our Big Bad for the episode is maybe “a chain reaction of black holes”? Smarmy Guy will take Ben and Kristen to allay their fears, and David will be alone with the other scientist. Then we cut to Leland and Sheryl torturing Andy by asking him “why is your wife fucking the priest?” What if Andy is into that and just really enjoying this? At Garrow again, David finds the sinkhole and I keep expecting Pyramidhead to show up. Instead, we get a giant centipede slug thing. Ben gets a radiation beam right to the chest and sees The Devil. He’s fine, though. Happens all the time. Smarmy Guy works with radiation and doesn’t understand that “seeming fine” doesn’t mean Ben won’t
have long-term impacts.
We cut to David telling Sister Andrea that he thinks he had a vision of hell. David says he also had a vision of an angel quoting Revelation, saying in 38 days something bad is going to happen. Then Sister Andrea tells Lynn, one of Kristen’s daughters, that she can stop eavesdropping now. Lynn wants to be a nun. Andy also makes a surprise appearance at the church to tell David to stop banging his wife. David tells Kristen this happened, Kristen admits she has feelings for David, smash cut to Kristen drinking one of her canned G&Ts. Lynn is hiding a pamphlet about being a nun. Do they make those? I wonder if the show will remember this plot point.
Ben is in bed hearing spooky violin stings. Then he almost holds hands with an invisible demon. The demon makes himself visible and he is a very tall glowing Doctor Who type alien.
The next day at Garrow, the scientists claim the custodian with Samara for a wife says he made everything up. But he’s near the sinkhole acting strangely. The sinkhole that has obvious claw marks along the side. He’s gone into the sinkhole.
No one has any idea what really happened at Garrow…which is supposed to open in….
38 DAYS!
(But wait, hasn’t a day passed? So they should be alarmed about 37 days?)