It was Wrestlemania weekend and what a weekend it was. Let’s get to the matches:

Night 1:
-Rhea Ripley (c) defeats Becky Lynch for the WWE Women’s World Title. Goddamn what an opening match. Becky apparently had strep throat but she wrestled like a goddamn boss. I didn’t know who to root for in this match, I love both so much. Rhea picked up the win as she probably should have but Becky has nothing to be ashamed of here. 4 and a half stars (yes, I’m pulling a Dave Meltzer here; don’t worry, you’re not going to see any “5 and three quarter star” ratings)
-Six-Pack Ladder Match for the WWE Tag Team Titles (A-Town Down Under won the Smackdown titles and Awesome Truth won the Raw titles). Ladder matches are extremely my shit, you have to fuck up pretty bad to do a ladder match that I don’t adore. And this was a great one. I was watching this whole match in utter awe. The fact that Austin Theory has a title again and I’m not angry is the clearest sign that this was an amazing match. 5 stars
-Rey Mysterio and Andrade defeat Santos Escobar and Dominik Mysterio. Not gonna lie, kinda wish this was a solo Rey vs. Santos match. Including Dominik just made this feel like a reheated version of last year’s Rey vs. Dominik match. Still, I enjoyed this match. I liked seeing Andrade, Dominik getting jumped by Jason Kelce and Lane Johnson, and especially Joaquin Wilde getting fucking slingshotted at Legado Del Fantasmo. 3 stars
-Jey Uso defeats Jimmy Uso. What the fuck was this match? I was excited for this match but goddamn what a letdown. I thought it was off to a good start when Jey yeets himself at Jimmy but it runs out of gas fast. At least Jey won. 2 stars
-Bianca Belar, Jade Cargill, and Naomi defeat Damage CTRL. Jade is obviously still green but she’s able to hold her own against five experts well. She also has amazing ring charisma and great ring chemistry with Bianca and Naomi. They also have great opponents with Damage CTRL. The highlight of the match was Bianca whipping Asuka with her hair, with a super satisfying impact sound. 3 and a half stars
-Sami Zayn defeats Gunther (c) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Match of the night! I knew Gunther’s iconic Intercontinental championship reign had to end someday and I’m glad it ended with a match this amazing. All the Rocky comparisons during this feud had been magnificent and seeing the payoff with Sami coming out victorious was just glorious. He plays the underdog so perfectly and Gunther is equally perfect as the domineering bully. 5 stars
-Roman Reigns and The Rock defeat Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins. This match was an overbooked clusterfuck of a match and I loved almost every minute of it. This match somehow feels like it was both scripted to the nth degree and yet also like it was a chaotic free for all at the same time, which is an amazing needle to thread. Also, let’s be real, just the fact that we got to see The Rock wrestle and actually do a pretty damn good job of keeping up was just wonderful. 5 stars

Night 2:
-Drew McIntyre defeats Seth Rollins (c) for the WWE World Heavyweight Title. Great opening for Night 2. Drew has been on an amazing tear lately and Seth and CM Punk have been a great target for him. Punk was a great addition to commentary. The match was a great one, with Drew triumphing and establishing a reign that should last for a while. 4 and a half stars
-Damian Priest cashes in and defeats Drew McIntyre for the World Heavyweight Title. That was a fast one. I knew that was going to happen and it was still great to see. I liked how Drew’s hubris got the better of him, he only got cashed in on until after he spent a few good minutes antagonizing Punk before he got a cheap shot in.
-The Pride defeats The Final Testament. This feels like one of those Wrestlemania matches that is overloaded with guests (Snopp Dogg on commentary! Bubba Ray Dudley as special guest referee!) to make up for the match sucking, except it’s actually a good match. It’s not a great match but it’s a fun ECW throwback and a good apology to Bobby Lashley for not getting his Wrestlemania match last year. 3 stars
-L.A. Knight defeats A.J. Styles. L.A. Knight makes his Wrestlemania debut with a great blow off match to his feud with A.J. Styles. I’ve been enjoying Knight and Styles fucking with each other the past few weeks and they put on a great match. 4 stars
-Logan Paul (c) defeats Kevin Owens and Randy Orton for the WWE United States Title. I don’t know what horrifies me more: that Logan was in the same ring as Kevin and Randy or that Logan honestly deserves to be there. I greatly enjoyed the early part where Kevin and Randy are just battering Logan like it was a handicap match… and then they both went to pin him and remembered that it was a triple threat match. We get a great brawl between them. Logan got the win but Kevin and Randy managed to retain their dignity (again, horrified that this is Logan Paul that we’re talking about). There was also an appearance from some YouTuber named IShowSpeed that I’ve never heard but it got a lot of attention from their fans, so that’s good, I guess. 4 stars.
-Bayley defeats IYO SKY (c) for the WWE Women’s Title. Bayley has long been one of the hidden treasures of WWE. She’s obviously well-known but she doesn’t get the respect she honestly deserves. This match is yet another great reason why she deserves much more respect. She is facing the greatest women’s wrestler on the planet and Bayley more than matches her. The crowd was super into this match, which gives me hope that the respect she deserves will come soon. I thought this had strong potential to be the match of the night but then the next match happened. 5 stars
-Cody Rhodes defeats Roman Reigns (c) for the Undisputed WWE Universal Title. I could go into explicit detail about how much I loved the wrestling and storytelling of this match but that would take me legitimate hours for all of that. So, I’ll just say that I was legit crying when I saw Cody hold up his newly won title, finishing his story. Match of the night, match of the weekend, match of the month, and quite possibly the best match WWE will have this year. 5 stars