Welcome, 2024. And farewell, 2023. 2023 had many significant film anniversaries, and while I did OTs for a lot of them, there were still quite a few that I missed. So let’s remedy that. Here are some (but not nearly all) of headers that might have been from last year.
Quest for Camelot (25th anniversary): Oh, wait, I think I may have covered this one. My bad.
Godzilla (25th anniversary): The marketing campaign for this universally beloved monster movie was so massive that I was intending to do multiple headers on it. What kept me from doing that? Ruber? Oh, yeah, probably Ruber. But if you weren’t around during the summer of 1998, the big green guy (girl?) was everywhere. It was pretty cool, really. You know what, maybe I’ll commentate the 26th anniversary this year.
Small Soldiers (25th anniversary): Small Soldiers is what happens when you take Toy Story and throw it into the blender with Gremlins and a dash of A Few Good Men. Critics were not fans, claiming the film was created to sell toys, but those toys can go for a small fortune on eBay now. DreamWorks was apparently hoping to make a sequel, presumably called Bigger Soldiers.
Madeline (25th anniversary): Unfortunately, I missed the chance to do a header for this largely forgotten live-action movie, but lucky for me, another Madeline is turning 25 this year. That’s right, the Disney-released straight-to-video animated Madeline: Lost in Paris came out in 1999, so I can celebrate its silver anniversary with an OT in which I talk about this “fun filled musical adventure” in which Madeline gets kidnapped and forced to perform child labor in a lace factory. Wait, WHAT???
The Land Before Time (35th anniversary): “Somewhere out there” (oops, wrong Don Bluth movie!) is the “unrated” cut of The Land Before Time with ten minutes of missing footage. Or maybe not, since Bluth has insisted that he thinks the deleted scenes are gone forever. But I can dream, just as I can dream that someday I might have these nostalgia-hyped Pizza Hut puppets, although I doubt my hands would fit in them now. But honestly, I just want to experience “dine in” Pizza Hut for myself. I’ve heard it’s the stuff of legend.
The Son of the Mask teaser trailer (20th anniversary): Unsuspecting audiences who flocked in fellowships to see The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King in theaters were blessed with this exclusive sneak peak at a “sequel” to The Mask which hadn’t even wrapped up filming yet and didn’t even have an official title. But they were not ready. NO ONE WAS READY! HOLY FUCK NO ONE WAS READY! WE WERE INNOCENT!!!
Happy new year, y’all!