Please Do Not Hate on Poor Scrat for Making a Day Thread for The Cat in the Hat

Relax. I’m not doing this in rhyme.

The Cat in the Hat opened on this day 20 years ago. The movie was greenlit following the massive success of 2000’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas, with Universal fully confident they could pull off another Dr. Seuss blockbuster starring the children’s author’s most iconic character. At one point, Tim Allen was supposedly in talks to play the Cat (something I can kind of see working?), but in the end the role went to the then-seemingly unstoppable Mike Myers. Combine star power with what was reportedly the biggest marketing campaign for a movie ever at the time, and you had a surefire hit, right?

Yeah. About that…

Let it be known before the court that I am a neutral party regarding The Cat in the Hat. Many hate it with a passion. For others, it is a childhood favorite, because yes, I am at the stage of my life when movies that came out in 2003 count as “childhood favorites” now. But despite a decent opening of $38 million, and an okay Thanksgiving weekend that followed, The Cat in the Hat took a fucking nosedive, barely making it to the $100 million mark against a production budget of $110 million (and who knows how much advertising cost). It was widely speculated that this was mainly due to word-of-mouth among parents, who were taken aback by the film’s crass humor (this is the only time I can recall the MPAA giving something a PG for “double entendres”). Its also been said that Audrey Geisel (Ted Geisel/Dr. Seuss’s widow) loathed it so much that she forbid the production of any further live-action Dr. Seuss pictures, but I’m not sure if I entirely buy that, as I sort of think she might have had a different attitude if the movie had brought in money.

Anyway, a film always has fans, no matter how big or small, so let’s look at a commercial that was meant to please one and all. It features the Cat, though you don’t see his face, buying all that he can at a very fast pace. He’s using a Mastercard taken from a man who was lifeless, ensuring a happy holiday for all, which is priceless. GOD DAMN IT I AM DOING THE RHYMING THING I SAID I WOULDN’T DO! WELL FUCK!

Have a wonderful day, everyone! And stay tuned for the Night Thread for more Cat fun! (FUCK! I DID IT AGAIN!)