Happy Monday, folks, and welcome to the Weekly Video Games Thread! Your normal every other Monday host Lovely Bones is on Thanksgiving vacation, so I’m holding down the fort again today. You’re getting three weeks’o Wolfman.
Anyway, behold! They said it couldn’t be done—well, I said it couldn’t be done—but weeks after initially banging my head on it and giving up, last evening I’ve managed to beat the super secret final bonus level of Super Mario Bros. Wonder! And… I immediately took the shot of me beating the level, and this menu screen that shows I’ve beaten every special condition Nintendo cooked up, but not the far more appropriate image of me being told that I am a “WONDER PLAYER!” But still! I’ve climbed every mountain, found every badge, and beat a section in a course that was so hard and mean and unfair that it kinda became one of this year’s funniest jokes in a video game. And it was thanks to one commenter here that I found the secret to surpassing it.
Now, this is no mere idle bragging—it’s time for some mass bragging. We’ve definitely had topics and prompts in the past about completion percentages and how much we put into a game and what, or when, or if we consider it worth getting every single thing in a game. And you can talk about that if you want. But as for what I want, though? No. I wanna hear tales, epics, eddas about the time you got every dang thing in a game. I want to hear the time you got every Shrine Sprite in Super Mario Sunshine (I did in my teenage years, but my reflexes, patience, and vertigo can never do that again). I want you to tell me about perfecting every single Forza map, or picking up every stupid doodad in a Ubisoft game. Spider-Man 2 players, I know a bunch of you are doing this! No need to be shy today! I want to be jealous at how you were able to power through the highest level of Smash Bros. Brawl‘s boss battle mode or get the Chicago Typewriter in the Resident Evil 4 remake, which really should not have been so much harder to get, Capcom.
…And, of course, how was your gaming this weekend?