Good morning everyone! I’m out of town today, so this header was actually written last week. So I figured I’d make some predictions about the things we’d be talking about on the day this goes live.

Certainly Trump will be dominating the headlines, now having admitted that among the classified documents was US invasion plans for England. Of course, this led to a stupid machismo fight between Trump and Prime Minister Rishi Sunak about whether or not an American invasion of England would be successful. Agnew will be working overtime providing detailed context about who actually won the War of 1812.

DeSantis, meanwhile, has stepped up his war against Disney, claiming that Disney has made Donald Duck too “woke.” Attempts to understand what he meant by that just made everything more confusing, but that hasn’t stopped NY Times from running no less than 3 editorials about Donald Duck. Eurocados will be working overtime explaining the significance of Donald Duck comics and some of the finer aspects of Duck lore.

On the Democrat side of things, Biden delivered a speech while wearing his trademark aviator shades the whole time. Despite lots of freaking out over whether or not that is “presidential” enough, at least Democratic Congresspeople have tweeted pictures of themselves wearing aviator shades in support. Let’s say the trend was started by Virginia’s Gerry Connolly.

All of that, however, has been oversahadowed by a viral story about Lemon, an octopus that learned to operate a DVD remote and seems to love the movie Sleepless in Seattle.

If any of this actually happened, feel free to discuss it today. Otherwise, discuss the actual news. And, as always, be kind and thoughtful. Cheers.