Inter Milan v Man City, crests

The UEFA Champions League Final Spectacular 2023

It is time for Man City, they have defeated some of their past Champions League demons in Bayern and Real Madrid and now only have Inter Milan left to finally be European champions. There’s no excuse, although Inter could do one of the funniest things ever if they win… I mean, for neutrals. Anyway:

A really incomplete list of who we lost

Bayern Munich

Last year, Bayern surprisingly lost against Villarreal, this year unsurprisingly they were defeated by Manchester City. They are a mess, after replacing their coach in April because he was slightly less good than usual, they brought Tuchel and that didn’t go well either, only winning the League as Dortmund let it slip from their hands. Oh yeah, and after their defeat Mane punched Sane, so good times all around. A lot of chaos in an institution that no long ago was a symbol of stability.


I’m tempted to just post “lol” and call it a day. Remember when I said Bayern were in chaos? Yeah, well they defeated PSG which is now in bigger chaos as Messi is taking his talents to Miami and maybe Neymar is also leaving? Will they open the check book again or will they finally realize that they do have good kids in their lower ranks before they sell them? Who are we kidding, it’s money time.

Real Madrid

Madrid have been a mess locally this season, finishing 10 points behind Barcelona but that usually doesn’t matter, Real is a Champions League legend, the Champions League magic most of the times gets them thru. Well, the magic ran out and they were ran out of the field by Man City with a 5-1 aggregate. Is it a red alert moment for Madrid? I don’t think so, sure replacing Benzema will be hard (is Kane coming?) and their Kroos and Modic midfield is getting old, but they been aquiring some interesting youngsters including the fresh new signing of Jude Bellingham. There’s a good base here and hey a semifinal exit in a middling season isn’t that bad.

The Finalists

Manchester City

Pep, Pep, listen to me, listen: don’t fucking overthink this! You have a world class squad in every line, you’re facing Inter Milan, you have a Norwegian cyborg up top. Hell, you could just play the long ball to him and win this. It’s in your hands to silence all the naysayers that you can’t win it without Messi. Pep, it is time.

Inter Milan

Can Inter win this? Well, besides the obvious way, I mean maybe? Simone Inzaghi, the lesser of the Inzaghi’s as a player but the better coach, is a pretty good manager. He likes to play with a lot of high pressing and that could help break the City line or that could be the invitation for a fatal counter. They’ll live on the edge and, as long as they don’t do a Manchester United and concede an historically early goal, they have a chance. They definitely have nothing to lose. Either that or play a back five and wait for a counter, old school catenaccio.

Who will win?

Inter are a +600 underdogs, so in theory smart money goes to Man City. But this is the Champions League final and anything can happen. Gotta play the games