Super Mario Bros. opened on this day 30 years ago. Unlike the animated box office smash currently playing in theaters, the live-action misfire was a flop on such a epic level that it kept Nintendo from making a Mario movie again for…well, another 30 years. While some might claim its gotten a reevaluation as some kind of cult classic in recent years (hey, I kind of liked it), it really is considered a terrible mess by most fans (sorry, John Leguizamo, but it’s true), largely because it completely disregards the source material and turns a bright and colorful property into something bizarre and dark (again, sorry, John Leguizamo, but that’s true too).

Nowhere is this more evident than with what the film considers to be a Goomba. Instead of being a mushroom-shaped creature with large eyebrows, one of Mario’s most common enemies is instead reduced to…whatever the fuck a walking dinosaur human thing can be described as. These abominations look like they walked out of the casting call for Disney’s Dinosaurs after getting run over by a bus. I can’t even imagine what these guys did to unsuspecting children in theaters.

Except for the kid in this commercial, I guess, advertising what looks like an imitation of the Crash Test Dummies toy line of the time (yes, for the uninitiated, the Crash Test Dummies had toys). Of course, this boy seems to imagine himself to be in Home Alone, if Home Alone featured Goombas instead of burglars. Also, we all know that beloved level from the games where Mario and Luigi hijack a police car and use it to scoop Goombas into prison.

Have a super day, y’all!