The Day Thread Does Magic (1978)

The above teaser trailer scared 8-year-old Uvular witless.

The following movie poster did, in many ways, worse damage to the prepubescent psyche of your present OT header host. Twentieth Century Fox adapted it for a series of newspaper ads. That vomitous ventriloquist’s dummy rode shotgun on each morning’s bowl of Quaker Instant Oatmeal for months.

Uve finally screwed his cineaste’s courage to that sticking place of Tubi and watched Magic last Friday.

Turns out, scenes in director Richard Attenborough’s Gandhi and screenwriter William Goldman’s The Princess Bride frighten more than anything in this plodding psychodrama starring a youngish Anthony Hopkins. Definitely not worth the nearly 45-year wait.

One1 supposes viewers could glom onto the cautions about physical danger lurking just behind the curtains of obsessive love and self-destructive egotism masquerading as perfectionism. Mostly, this stands out as THE movie to watch if you simply cannot live through another day without seeing venerable character actor Ed Lauter getting shivved by a marionette.

In the storied tradition of Saturday the 14th letdowns, what movie failed to terrify you despite all indications and promises that it would?