Join me, my friends, as we all celebrate the great alternative to the crass commercialization of Christmas: Festivus!

I hope you have your aluminium pole erected – unadorned with distracting tinsel – for the Feats of Strength will follow the traditional Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re going to hear about it!

Take care of yourselves everyone and remember, FESTIVUS ISN’T OVER UNTIL YOU PIN ME!