You are now entering Ad Space, a realm of commercials, brought before us so we might examine how they work, and discuss why we both love and hate them so. So it is written …

The Product:
Better Marriage Blankets

The Promotion:

The Pitch:
For when sleeping in a gas mask just isn’t an option.

Some ads go just a scooch too far in hyping their product.

The “Better Marriage Blanket” sounds like a fine enough idea. For all I know it works exactly as advertised. And the name is even a bit clever and catchy. All was going well. And then …

Okay, look: it’s one thing to tout how your blankets can absorb the odors of flatulence so that you or your bedmate don’t have to smell them. But when you say it’s “the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons” …

There I think you cross the line from making the blanket seem powerful and effective, to making it seem too powerful and effective. People will hear that line and think, “Well, I don’t need anything as extreme as that.”

Or, worse yet, they get it for their spouse, just as the ad suggests, and said spouse is none too amused at the idea that military-grade defense technology is needed to survive in the same bed as them.

That the ad goes so far as to suggest it as a wedding or anniversary gift … maybe these blankets can make a better marriage, but I wouldn’t try that unless the marriage was on pretty solid ground to begin with.