The Weekend Politics Thread Goes Beyond Punderdome

♪ What do I do to make you smile
You’ve been hurting for a while
What can I do to make you laugh
Get St. Peter’s autograph ♪

— The best Americana songwriter under 501 does sometimes comes with the funny.

Let no one level the calumny of you needing another hero. In light of all the sorrows besetting a sensitive soul such as yours, however, you may need to know the way home. For, as no lesser a light than Jason Isbell observes in the featured video for this Weekend Politics Thread header, “Sometimes it’s nothing but the way you’re wired / And that’s not your fault / We’re all struggling with the world on fire / And the fear we’re taught.”

Can wryness bring some dryness to your eyes? Won’t hurt to try. At least until the rotten fruit flies. No pineapples or coconuts, please.

*clears throat; adjust mic stand*

Headline: Man Steals Thousands After Smashing Gas Station Video Poker Machine With Sledgehammer

Punchline: Ned Ludd breaks the bank.


Headline: The U.S. Should Encourage Russians to Defect

Punchline: Immigrant,2 not the worst idea.

*chairs scrape the floor; air conditioner hum grows uncomfortably loud as flopsweat beads Uvular’s brow*

Headline: Man Admits to Stealing Bear Cub from Its Den

Punchline: Taking the exercise of his 2nd Amendment right to bear arms too far. Too far!

*polite, if bemused, chuckles*

Thank you. In lieu of home, we’ve reached groan.

*ducks durian*

Fair. Tip your mods.

Before commencing to comment, pause for a moment of serious reflection as your cis-het WPT host shares a second video.

Lavender Country,3 billed as the world’s first queer country band, released the following on its debut, self-titled album in 1973. The lyrics and message haven’t lost a scintilla of relevance over the intervening 50 years.

Look, the title promised more than puns. Can’t say no one warned you.

♫ We never seem to comprehend
That love is not some dividend
A plot to get more than we spend
’Til our resistance
Gets ground down to the bone
Our hearts are out on loan ♫

Please, rightwing somebodies,4 think of the children in terms explicated in songs such as “Straight White Patterns” as you pass and enforce your anti-LGBTQIA+ laws. Harming only hurts.