♪ What do I do to make you smile
You’ve been hurting for a while
What can I do to make you laugh
Get St. Peter’s autograph ♪
— The best Americana songwriter under 501 does sometimes comes with the funny.
Let no one level the calumny of you needing another hero. In light of all the sorrows besetting a sensitive soul such as yours, however, you may need to know the way home. For, as no lesser a light than Jason Isbell observes in the featured video for this Weekend Politics Thread header, “Sometimes it’s nothing but the way you’re wired / And that’s not your fault / We’re all struggling with the world on fire / And the fear we’re taught.”
Can wryness bring some dryness to your eyes? Won’t hurt to try. At least until the rotten fruit flies. No pineapples or coconuts, please.
*clears throat; adjust mic stand*
Headline: Man Steals Thousands After Smashing Gas Station Video Poker Machine With Sledgehammer
Punchline: Ned Ludd breaks the bank.
*crickets*
Headline: The U.S. Should Encourage Russians to Defect
Punchline: Immigrant,2 not the worst idea.
*chairs scrape the floor; air conditioner hum grows uncomfortably loud as flopsweat beads Uvular’s brow*
Headline: Man Admits to Stealing Bear Cub from Its Den
Punchline: Taking the exercise of his 2nd Amendment right to bear arms too far. Too far!
*polite, if bemused, chuckles*
Thank you. In lieu of home, we’ve reached groan.
*ducks durian*
Fair. Tip your mods.
Before commencing to comment, pause for a moment of serious reflection as your cis-het WPT host shares a second video.
Lavender Country,3 billed as the world’s first queer country band, released the following on its debut, self-titled album in 1973. The lyrics and message haven’t lost a scintilla of relevance over the intervening 50 years.
Look, the title promised more than puns. Can’t say no one warned you.
♫ We never seem to comprehend
That love is not some dividend
A plot to get more than we spend
’Til our resistance
Gets ground down to the bone
Our hearts are out on loan ♫
Please, rightwing somebodies,4 think of the children in terms explicated in songs such as “Straight White Patterns” as you pass and enforce your anti-LGBTQIA+ laws. Harming only hurts.
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