The Ernie Day Thread Gets Away With MURDER! (NOT CLICK-BAIT!!!)

One seemingly normal day on Sesame Street, Ernie was trying to draw X’s on a chalkboard, but he kept fucking them up. Anyway, every time he fucked up an X, he would “X” it out, and then he played Tic-Tac-Toe with himself (and cheated!) and drew more X’s without knowing it. Anyway, Bert gave his congrats, and Ernie celebrated by creating his very own X.

Then Bert came over with bad news. Cookie Monster had broken into their apartment and eaten all of Bert’s bacon. Ernie immediately lost his shit, so much so that he didn’t notice Cookie sneaking up behind him to…eat his X.

Big fucking mistake, Cookie!

Ernie watched a cartoon about a little boy with an eraser who could erase anything and everything with it, but Cookie refused to leave. This was when Ernie decided to avenge his X and Bert’s bacon. Inspired by the graphic violence in the cartoon he had just watched, he told Cookie that he ought to erase him. Cookie was confused, and so they watched the cartoon together.

Then Ernie warned Cookie that he would kill him if he didn’t leave right then. Cookie foolishly thought Ernie was bluffing. A fatal misjudgment. With a merry hum, Ernie took his eraser and wiped Cookie off the face of the earth. No arrests were made, as there was no body for the police to recover. Also, Cookie deserved it in the law’s eyes due to his severe letter-eating problem.

Have a great day, Avocados! Play nice or I will erase YOU!