The Weekend Politics Thread Gibes the Beloved Country

♬ Mrs. America, how’s your favorite son?
Do you care just what he’s done? No!
Wild in the streets, running, running
Wild in the streets, running, running
Wild in the streets, running, running
Wild in the streets

Circle Jerks

Uvular spends a lot of time exercising his right to free speech. For instance, he right in this Weekend Politics Day Thread header asked, “While doing summer tours, did Rush add “The Star Spangled Banner” to their setlist during the fortnight separating Canada Day and Bastille Day.”

Try posting that on Weibo. Go ahead. Uvular will wait.

The United States gets a lot wrong. But you will never find a better idea for organizing a nation, its government and its polity than the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Even with right-wing activist judges working overtime to turn freedom of religion into a license for Christian-in-name-anyway theocracy, the concept remains laudatory. In fact, how about a round of applause for Amendments 3 through 8?1

Before bringing this to any sort of point, Uvular will take pains to point out how he intends to ignore all the other constitutional amendments. Feel free to fave and rave in the comments. The ensuing tale of teleology relates only to select subsections of America’s charter.

So, your WPT host’s home state requires passenger vehicles to display front and rear license plates. Police and state troopers have instructions to no longer stop drivers solely for riding with a sole tag, but how people attach plates to their cars can cause much grief.2

When some jabroni stole a plate off Uvular car last January, he figured he did not need the hassle of running the risk of a triggering run-in with his city’s finest.3 He could not, however, walk into a nearby DMV and acquire a new set of standard-issue vehicle tags because the pandemic compelled the closure of government offices. To the web went your intrepid motorist.

The DMV website sells only personalized plates. The tea party tag above4 proves popular. Uvular opted for a version that shows a stylized state seal in the middle of two strings of alphanumeric characters. Forced, under penalty of law,5 to exercise his right to self-expression, he went with


Squint. Make yourself very, very unintelligent. You soon recognize that the urgent message Uvular wants all the world to read translates to “Center Circle.”

The state could force Uvular to hand over cash for an ID that does little beyond making the job of tracking and sanctioning his movements easier. The state could even make it too inconvenient to do anything other than pay a premium for a personalized plate. But the hallowed First Amendment ensured Uvular had no legal duty to take the proceedings seriously.

*hums “God Bless America” as credits roll*

What does freedom mean to you? Fifty words or less. Go.