i don’t really want to do any topic so i’m just gonna keep writing until i think, “well, that’s a nice block of text, no one can say it’s low effort” but i know you all talk about me behind my back. it’s okay, i would too. you gotta fill your time with something, and that something might as well be “oh she’s so cool and it only takes her a few tries to put in her contacts in the morning but sometimes it takes her like 10 minutes and why is it so hard sometimes? they’re the same eyes? they’re the same hands? they’re the same contacts? aren’t they?” since you ask the tough questions, because you’re a tough cookie, and you’ll go far kid. or not? who’s to say, i’m not your mom (if i am, you gotta tell me)
i used to be one of those kids that was like “lol rAnDoM! banana!” but now that i’m an adult i use different words and i’m totally different and more mature. i have pathos now. i’m a divorcée. so when i say “banana” now, it’s deep, it means something. i’m not referencing just the bananas. i’m referencing the idea of bananas. i’m referencing culture. i’m referencing our habits of consumption. i’m referencing the united fruit company and their dastardly dealings with the us government to topple democratically elected leaders in latin america. and above all, it’s a reference to our own collective innocence. because of that aforementioned pathos, right? right. lookit me i’m so serious, i’m so cool la la la la i do drugs. okay a few more lines of text and we should be good to go.
okay things got a little bit away from me with the banana thing and i apologize, it will never happen again. i will never descend into non sequiturs or up my own ass ever again. you have my word. look at the gleam in your eyes, just waiting to take on the world. we’ve already established you’re a kid and/or a cookie, two concepts that denote things that exist in the world.
i should really stick to signing up for open threads when i have something to say