You’re sitting on your favorite park bench and enjoying the beautiful weather while snacking on your sandwich while suddenly, somebody sits down next to you. After suppressing your first instinct of running away in panic at the thought of another human being sitting closer to you than six feet, you notice it’s your friend from class. You know, the one your brain already thinks you’re married to. You get to chatting a bit when they take out their phone to check a text message. You notice their background is a beautiful kitty. You smile and, with the biggest amount of confidence in a positive outcome you’ve mustered since telling off the bully who tried to steal your lunch money on the second day of first grade, blurt out:
That is such a cute cat! We used to have one just like it. Poor Oscar. He was a very avid hunter until one day he brought home a big rat he’d killed and put it on the stairs leading to the basement. My grandpa slipped on it, fell down the stairs and broke his neck while bumping into the central heating unit. Broke it, and a big fire broke out and the whole house burned down and everyone inside died. Except Oscar. He was never quite the same after that though. And fires kept breaking out at the places where he lived. I’m sure it was a coincidence.
No sooner have you uttered the last word of that story than your friend looks at you in horror, packs their things, gets up and shows you the meaning of haste. And that was the last time they ever got closer than six feet to you or acknowledged your general presence.
Anyway … I’m sure most of us can relate to a bungled attempt at flirting at some point in our lives, either on the initiating or receiving end of it.
- What are your highlights/lowlights/weirdest stories?
- Do you generally like flirting? Being flirted with?
- Any advice to give?
- Or advice to ask for?
- Et cetera …
As always, anything else related to dating, relationships, intimacy and so on is fair game and welcome.
And of course, as usual: This is supposed to be a space to talk about intimacy and sex and relationships in safety, so don’t shame people for their kinks. But please also refrain from objectification and similarly problematic behavior. People are supposed to feel safe and comfortable here.