“”That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero.” – Stan Lee
Avocodans, with great power comes great responsibility. You have exercised your power of voting with the unique responsibility to determine who did the most amazing job of portraying our favorite Wall-Crawler. We scoured movies, Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, TV, Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, comics, record albums, dogs, pasta cans, and Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse. And now Packer_Hat’s proud to present…
THE AVOCADO’S FAVORITE SPIDER-MAN!
But first….
The Avocado would like to proudly present the award of Favorite Spider-Man Co-Creator to….
STAN LEE
Despite the controversy over who deserves the credit for the actual creation of the characters, there’s no denying that Stan the Man is what gave Spider-Man and the Marvel Universe its soul. So much of what makes it special such as the humor, the heroic heart, and the interconnectivity originates with Stan Lee. He always projected a sense of warmth and showmanship. Plus, y’know, Ditko was an Objectivist
Anyhow, onto revealing the top four Spider-Man…
FOURTH PLACE
This rock and roll spider took down Joey Ramone…broke Nicholas Hammond’s wrist bracelets….stepped on Chris Pine’s skull….and broke Nicolas Cage’s mind with a Rubik’s Cube….it’s the Ghost Spider herself…our only Spider-Woman….
….we’v been ensnared in the Web of…
HAILEE STEINFELD
THIRD PLACE
This amateur wrestler and jazz enthusiast blew Robbie Daymond out…proved Andrew Garfield wasn’t so amazing….destroyed Shinji Tōdō’s super sentai….refused to hand down the mantle to Shameik Moore…and made Hailee Steinfeld a regular ghost…someone who enjoys a good cookie….but definitely needs to get us pictures of Spider-Man…
…The Sensational…
TOBEY MAGUIRE
SECOND PLACE
Bringing it home as our favorite live-action Spider-Man is the guy who didn’t even leave Sam Riegel his voice…proved Dan Gilvezan had no amazing friends….rubberized Danny Seagren’s electricity….made Jake Johnson cry in the shower…and forced us to make a sadistic choice on Tobey Maguire….the heir to Iron Man…and a fan of really old movies….
…The Spectacular…
TOM HOLLAND
FIRST PLACE
Our favorite Spider-Man is someone who made Michael Curran a joke…sent This Dog to a farm upstate…sent Christopher Daniel Barnes through a time-dilation portal and Hailee Steinfeld to her home dimension…and, in a first for an Avocado Tournament, I believe, was defeated by Tom Holland but went on to make him feel not so good…
…that’s right…it’s the sweatpants spider….the slob who got back up….a mentor to Spiders young and young…..who’s that girl? It’s not a girl, it’s….
…the Amazing…
JAKE JOHNSON
That’s right, it’s all over, folks, and Johnson has come back from the L to claim his title as our favorite Spider-Man actor. Running this tournament made me realize he’s probably in my top 5 as well. But here’s the ranking as the Avocado sees them.
The Avocado’s Top 42 Spider-Men
- Jake Johnston
- Tom Holland
- Tobey Maguire
- Hailee Steinfeld
- Shameik Moore
- Nicholas Cage
- John Mulaney
- Christopher Daniel Barnes
- Shinji Tōdō
- Danny Seagren
- Oscar Isaac
- Chris Pine
- Paul Soles
- This Dog
- Yuri Lowenthal
- Donald Glover
- This Wildly Corroded Can of Spider-Man Pasta
- Nathan Fillion
- Covered In Spiders, Man
- Nicholas Hammond
- Andrew Garfield
- Dan Gilvezan
- Tress MacNeille
- Josh Keaton
- This Guy Who Played Spider-Man On Muppet Babies
- Tituss Burgess as Titus Andromedon
- A Bunch of Spiders
- Neil Patrick Harris
- Rino Romano
- Mike Henry
- David Ashby
- Sam Riegel
- Rene Auberjonois
- Drake Bell
- Sean Marquette
- Reeve Carney
- Tevfik Sen
- Ted Schwartz
- Michael Curran
- Joey Ramone
- Robbie Daymond
- Mary Faber
Well, that’s a webbed wrap on this everyone! What did you think of this contest? Would you like to see other characters get this treatment? Who’s your favorite Spider-Man or person? Do you know who played him on Muppet Babies? I’d like to know!
