Hello my fabulous friends and welcome to another week of Shitshow 2020, our most favorite time of the year. Today I come to you with a tale of woe, playful couples bickering, and the internalized misogyny surrounding punching people movie franchises. We begin with the story of the Miraculous Ladybug.
Meet Marinette/Ladybug, my daughter’s favorite superhero. This adorable bugaboo runs around Paris saving the day with the help of her goofy and flirtatious sidekick Chat Noir. Chat Noir is in looooove with Ladybug, a confident and always practical heroine who is legitimately really good at superheroing despite being like, fourteen. But Marinette is in love with her classmate Adrian Agreste who… secretly happens to be Chat Noir. It’s goofy, it’s fun, it’s got an innocent love story, it’s basically catnip for my 8-year-old. However, again, they are legitimately pretty good at being superheroes.
This becomes a Thing during Summer vacation, because my boyfriend is the world’s biggest Captain America fan, and MANY spirited discussions are had as to who is the better superhero (it’s Ladybug) and all three of us are getting into it about definitions of superheroes, power ranking comparisons, narrative arcs, the whole thing. However, during the course of this, my own beloved Black Widow is dragged through the mud with Endgame-spoiling jokes I will not repeat just in case you somehow don’t know about that movie yet. The gist is she’s useless and doesn’t do much helpful besides….uh….fall? And THEN, for the death blow, he says the words no woman wants to ever hear; “But at least she’s still not as useless as Padme Amidala”
Now, friends, when I tell you I was ENRAGED. Padme is a stateswoman, a gifted politician, philanthropist, partner, and friend. She’s a fashion icon in world and ours with a heart of gold and questionable taste in men. She helped countless star systems and the persons in them, and you stand here and tell me she’s FUCKING USELESS. Her uterus saved the galaxy but that’s not the only important thing about her, I just really wanted to defend her for a second in a safe space. Black Widow I’m slightly less pressed to defend because oh, ScarJo, baby what is you doing, but I know there are hundreds and thousands of examples of amazing women+ role models who somehow don’t count in comparison to the boys, and god do I hate it.
Though I do want to point out, he couldn’t say SHIT about Leia, even during a joke argument to win.
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