“It is time” Charlotte Bronte declares solemnly, raising a candle in the depths of a dark dungeon on Miss Persephone’s hallowed grounds.
“We have gathered,” Mr. Poe adds, coughing into a handkerchief while his raven caws.
“Yes and-” Lovecraft starts, before a bullet takes him out.
“NOT YOU.”Persephone yells. “It’s a NICE PARTY.” The authors stand in solemn silence for a moment.
“So, murder?” Jane Austen finally asks, her countenance cheerful.
“So much murder,” Lord Byron confirms. “I have never seen such a blood frenzy in the night and I…”
“HE’S SEEN SOME SHIT” Oscar Wilde confirms. “We’ve all seen some shit now, good lord.”
“Well, tell us what happened.”
Mr. MacCrocodile whips out two pistols and aims for the skeleton trapped in the wallpaper. “Time to die Lady Spooky,” he shouts, cocking both pistols.
“Wait, no, I called dibs,” Donalbain corrects him, “and my music entrance isnt ready yet, someone else go first.”
Mac sighs and turns to his dear husband. “Fuck it, anna” Louie says, shrugging. Mac guns down Anna in the pantry, saving his fellow partygoers from their cruel machinations once and for all, then rips off her mask, revealing the ghostly spectre of a continued narrative figure. Then everybody upstairs applauds. She was a wolf. But his joy is short-lived. A stealthy-footed May sneaks from the pantry, can of cheese wiz in hand. She sprays Mac in the snout and takes him down in a Crocodile Dundee death roll. In the struggle Mac is killed, vanilla town till the end, but May’s weapon of cheesy goodness is knocked aside.
A figure appears in the door to the pantry, and May is startled. “Oh thank goodness, it’s only you,” she sighs in relief, seeing the figure of her spouse.
“Wellllllll, I mean, yeah, it’s me, but…” he pushes the bust of acclaimed playwright George Bernard Shaw onto her head, killing her instantly, and disappears into the shadows. She was vanilla town.
“Wow,” Dw says, shaking his head. “Can’t trust the players. It’s why I married Anna.”
“Anna’s dead,” Wasp informs him helpfully. “You were right, you had to kill her to win” she shakes her head sadly. “Her last words were ‘we’rewolf'”
“I said we had to kill both of y-OH MY GOD” DW yells, webbing wasp and sticking her to the wall. “THIS COUNTS AS A MURDER ANNA I DONT WANT TO KILL WASP AT HER PARTY”
“I’ll allow it,” the ghost of anna says. And it’s true. She allows pretty much almost everything. Wasp is taken out of the game. She was the other wolf.
“BUT I WON’T” Raven yells, descending from the chandelier with murder in her eyes. “IVE BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF YOU AND YOUR TIES ALL DAY.”
“I WAS VANILLA TOWN.” DW yelled as she delivered the final blow “AND YOU CAN TELL ANNA IS WRITING BECAUSE IT’S ALL CAPS”. DW’s lifeless body hits the floor before returning to his own dimension.
“Why would you kill a town?” A figure mutters at the other end of the hallway. He shoots three bullets into Raven.
“I’m dying AGAIN!?!” She complained. “Why do I always die when I’m town”
Meanwhile in Miss Persephone’s luxurious bathroom with a sunken claw tub, several guests are in hiding.
“Well I was going to kill DW myself,” Rim admitted.
“Hmm,” Thoughts said, “this seems suspicious. Also, while we’re being honest, I am not totally okay with you marrying my sister. So, uh, I had a one shot and now I’m shooting you.”
“Shit,” Rim said, putting on sunglasses and laying out a beach towel. “At least it wont be dusting.” Thoughts finishes her off quickly. She was vanilla town.
“Well that doesn’t seem like vanilla town,” indy reasoned to himself, following thoughts towards the stairs EVEN THOUGH THE ENTIRE SET UP OF THE GAME WAS TO KILL ME AND HE HAD THE PERFECT CHANCE AND OUR RIVALRY WAS LEGENDARY INDY WHAT WERE YOU DOING I SET YOU UP FOR THE WIN. thoughts, oblivious to fourth wall breaks, heard nothing as indy pushed her down the stairs. She was vanilla town.
“Well someone should help Anna,” hoho reasoned to himself, watching indy from the attic. “And honestly, I was such a good wolf last game and no one is respecting it. Where were my day one votes? No one wanted revenge? Am I typecast as a loveable possum forever? Shall I be the furriest, fluffiest, most loved, doomed to my fate?”
“MOST LOVED? I played an OTTER. The fuck do you mean MOST LOVED!?!?” indy exclaimed? The possum attacked. With a blow of claw and bite of fang the otter lay dead uponst the ground. Indy was vanilla town.
“Iiiiinteresting.” A voice said, who had taken refuge with his spouse farther back in the attic. They had built a fort with Persephone’s considerable hat box collection. “I believe I have a shot from here.”
“Certainly, take it!” His spouse confirmed, slipping a poisoned vial into a sherbet and loading it into the dumbwaiter. Hoho was tranq-ed from fifty paces. He was vanilla town. “Good show, good show” the spouses said, shaking hands.
“Ooh, sherbet,” glitch said, finding a delicious treat when they climbed into the dumbwaiter to hide. They contracted scarlet fever almost immediately and died, being vanilla town.
Emma stared at Demyx from across the kitchen there were many sharp implements of death to choose from.
“I wouldn’t,” spooky whispered, pressing something that felt like a very sharp spark against Emm’s back. “I am a hip teenager down with the current slang, and you, ma cherie, are no true fam.”
“Lit,” Emm whispered as the spork….somehow killed her? Emm was vanilla town.
“FINALLY” StoneColdJaneAusten cheered as the harpsichord began to play his entrance music. “I can kill the wallpaper!”
“I’m a symbolism for feminism!” Spooky protested, and to his credit he did pause for a moment.
“Anna can I still murder the skeleton?” He whispered. Ghost anna nodded, and he threw spooky down to the ornate marble floor. But his glee changed when the girl did not rise back up. She was vanilla bean town.
“Oh shit, that was real, I thought wrestling was fake!” He started to run for the exit.
But a glorious walrus stood in his path.
“Is that…is that my friend?” Owen asked, stepping forward menacingly. “Is that my dead friend covered in wallpaper.”
Spooky sat up, eating a hand. “We’re actually all just dead in game, dont worry owen.”
“Shhh I’m being threatening.” He took another step forward, daring stonecold to run. But donalbain stood firm, and proud, and let the narwhal impale his heart as though it had accused him of being too prideful to marry. Yet his heart had been pure after all. He was vanilla town.
“Jesus christ, teenagers,” lamb muttered from the library, blowing a poison dart into Bowen’s neck so they could get some work done. Owen fell, vanilla town.
“Jesus christ, they were teenagers,” gramps muttered, seeing the incident from the connecting billards room. “I was old enough to be their grandpa- smart enough too. Never married though.” He javelin-threw the pool stick, nailing lamb between the eyes. Lamb was vanilla town.
“Holy shit what a throw!” Jake exclaimed from the library. “Should probably not let him wander around murdering town.” She took her candle and set the carpet on fire, a trick she had picked up from a previous marriage. Gramps big brain quickly went up in flames. He was vanilla town.
“Wow I’m really bad with reading men.” Jake Eyre exclaimed, again.
“Anna used exclaim too many times!” someone yelled next to her, pushing her into the growing flames. She was vanilla town.
Back in the kitchen, banner used the chaos of the house fire to creep up next to demyx and whack her with a frying pan. They were vanilla town.
“Well then, I should probably kill you, seeing as I am also town,” a figure beside him said, dunking him into the dishwater until he stopped spilling secrets in qts. He was vanilla town.
“woo hoo I won!” Josephus cheered, and then someone threw an axe and cut off his head. He was vanilla town.
RPC kicked back, satisfied, with a strong drink, and then hols’ poison kicked in. He was vanilla town.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GAME!?!?!” louie yelled, walking back inside and seeing dead bodies everywhere, the house in fire, and the mods demonically grinning. “Did we win?”
Anna handed him an ornate sword. “The proper owner will be in to announce. Until then …well,”
“And you’re dead?” Louie asked. “Someone truly killed you?”
“I promise,” I swore to him, and the sword went through him easy. Louie used his shot on himself. He was vanilla town.
The anti-christ will now plead your fates.