Avocado City was an animated web-series made exclusively for this website, premiering on March 13, 2016. Beginning largely as a series of in-jokes about the Avocado, it soon evolved into a more ambitious serialised show, with close to 100 members lending their creative talents to the project during its two year run.
After a total of 40 episodes, Avocado City’s last installment – released April 16, 2018 – promised a third and final season that never came to fruition. The following is a detailed scene-by-scene summary of what this season would’ve entailed (due to the lengthy nature of these summaries, the season’s 13 episodes have been split up into three acts).
For those who are interested or curious, here is one final serving of Avocado City. My hope is that this text can suffice as a conclusion to the series, and paint a clear picture of what the story’s final chapter would have entailed. It is the last piece of new AC-related content that will ever be released; enjoy!
Episode 1: “Desperate Times”
We open on a flashback to Jane, heading to the mountains to gather her things, just after her conversation in City Hall with MrsLangdonAlger in Abandon Ship (where she announced her return to the city). She remarks that she’s happy to be leaving the cabin, saying it almost feels like cursed land given what’s happened to its previous occupants. At this point, she’s ambushed by Bearded Garret Dillahunt and his alternate doppelgänger, who brainwash her with Alternate Donald Painting. They make a plot: Jane is to gain MLA’s trust for a few weeks, apply to be on the mod team, then gradually gain intel until they’re ready to strike.
SEVEN MONTHS LATER (Making this a 6 month time jump from where season 2’s post-credits scene last left us):
Pam and Pucky are taking a helicopter tour of Avocado City for their 7 month anniversary, with InnDEEEEEEED working as the pilot/tour guide (having announced in Abandon Ship that he’d be pursuing this as a career, since it was his true aspiration in life). InnDEEEEEEED is thrilled to have the work, admitting he chose a bad time to enter the tourism industry; Avocado City’s economy has been rather dire as the nation recovers from being completely bankrupted the previous season, costing the city a substantial portion of its tourism income. As he says this, we see the visual of a closed-down “Avocado City Hotel” with a large pile of discarded mattresses out the front.
InnDEEEEEEED’s helicopter tour serves as a catching-up sequence as we see how Avocado City has fared for the past half-year under the leadership of MrsLangdonAlger and Jane. Since the assassination/doppelgänger/space pirate drama of season 2 concluded, Avocado City hasn’t had any significant incidents or attacks from outsiders. The one exception is “Doyle,” a giant mechanical monster that mysteriously showed up in the sewers a few months prior, and now emerges occasionally to demand people bring him pictures of miscellaneous items (with loud, booming declarations that always begin with “Show me your…” before yelling out two seemingly unrelated words, sending each and every Avocadian into a frenzy as they scramble to find a picture matching that description in order to appease him). Doyle then judges each picture on some unknown criteria and violently attacks anyone who brings him something does not like (picture a row of Avocadians lining up, each holding slightly different-looking photos of the same thing, Doyle waiving them all through – “Yes, yes… Very good… Ooh, that one’s nice” – before suddenly declaring “I HATE THIS!!!” about one of the pictures, and immediately incinerating the unlucky person holding it). It’s terrifying, but happens so sporadically that most Avocadians treat it as a minor nuisance in their lives.
We also learn of some other new developments in the city. For instance, the hospital doctors have all been fired for their actions during the outbreak of the “The Guac,” (in Fight or Flight, the doctors fled and then locked down the hospital as the supervirus-turned-goo monster rampaged inside). They’ve been replaced with the doctors who moved to Avocado City during the post-credits scene from Abandon Ship, with Dr. Nick now serving as the head doctor. Nurse Gougagna is the only original staff member still employed at the hospital. In addition to this, PT Laboratories has been shut down indefinitely, and Professor T is now permanently confined to a wheelchair after he was shot by Captain Utie (also in Abandon Ship). He has since retired from science and inventing altogether, and become a recluse.
After landing, InnDEEEEEEED leaves to go to his “weekly appointment,” while Pam tells Pucky they need to set a budget. Pucky seems hurt that his gift has gone unappreciated, and asks if their current living arrangement is causing a problem. Pam scoffs at this, and tells him that while his romantic gesture is not unappreciated, he shouldn’t be treating her so lavishly for a largely unremarkable anniversary when neither of them has been able to find work.
Following this, we check in on The Bluelight District (now renovated to a third design), where business continues to be successful, even if the venue isn’t quite as active anymore on account of the recession. Martha is happy at his new job working the club bar, and there are some romantic vibes between him and Molly, though she is not yet ready to start dating again. Jaye and Dino have left to pursue a professional music career, and Dame K and Psmith have been put in charge of finding new daytime act. Elsewhere in the venue, InnDEEEEEEED walks in, where we learn that his weekly “appointment” is meeting up for drinks with Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo (as they promised each other they would do in A Leader Bean Documentary). The three perform their brief meet-up ritual – pouring one out for Miss Rim – and proceed to catch each other up on their lives. Drunk Napoleon and The Handsome Hound are set to wed in one month’s time, with plans to tie the knot in Washington County, Illinois (the invitations making clear the county is not to be confused with the city or state). Mindymoo is working as TheRadioCat’s assistant at the radio studio. InnDEEEEEEED pulls out a tablet and reveals he’s set up a video chat so their old friends Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred can join them from Blowey Farms (which is thriving since the pair moved there and re-opened it together). Joey is the most tranquil we’ve ever seen him, while DoU seems to still be burdened by the events of season 2. As conversation stirs between these former City Hall residents, we pan across to TheCleverGuy having lunch with JimmyJames in another part of the club. The rivalry between the two brothers appears to have died down and the pair are getting along relatively well now, though TheCleverGuy is still determined to find out who destroyed his aviary. JimmyJames keeps trying to steer him off the investigation, but to no avail. As JimmyJames heads off to “do mafia stuff,” TheCleverGuy is left drinking alone, where he encounters The Prigholofone, and the two start talking about the lack of available work in the city. The Prighlofone mentions his side gig making bombs, annoyed that a bomb he’d built recently accidentally went off in the mountains, obliterating his collection of animal parts. TheCleverGuy begins quizzing Prigh about this business, only to learn that he sold a bomb to the Avocado City Mafia the day TheCleverGuy’s Erotic Aviary was destroyed. TheCleverGuy then calls up JimmyJames and leaves him a threatening voicemail, informing JimmyJames that he knows what he did, the two are now enemies again, and he’ll get revenge if it’s the last thing he does.
Meanwhile at City Hall, MrsLangdonAlger takes a one-on-one meeting with Lovely Bones, just as Jane clocks off early for the day for a “weekly appointment” of her own. Lovely Bones has been trying to get her girlfriend Edgar Allan Hoe out of prison – it’s mentioned that she recently got everyone in Avocado City to sign a petition, which President Gary Busey subsequently ate – and is now pleading with MLA to help. MLA tells Lovely Bones that she unfortunately has little political pull outside of Avocado City, given its sovereign status. She tells Bones that she has her back and she’ll do whatever she can to help, but admits that right now, her #1 priority is figuring out how to disable Doyle. The scene ends with MLA assuring Lovely Bones that she and EAH are Avocadians, and as such, the Avocado City administration will always have their backs; “Nothing’s more important to me and Jane than the welfare of Avocado City.”
We then cut to Jane, meeting up with the two Bearded Garret Dillahunts atop the hills that overlook Avocado City – where the cannon is located, which the two BGDs have disabled while waiting for her to arrive. Jane provides the pair with her monthly intel update, and the two BGDs tell her that the time has come. “We’re striking tomorrow.”
NOTE: In terms of the season’s overarching narrative structure, this episode largely functions as a two-part season premiere with the following episode. There were tentative plans to release both episodes alongside each other as a surprise double premiere.
Episode 2: “Desperate Measures”
A cold opening shows a team of scavenger hunters attempting to steal a large blue gemstone in the Australian outback. They are thwarted by a mysterious shadowy figure, who turns out to be GoochExtension. We learn that the gemstone is called the Omega Stone, and since moving back to Australia in Abandon Ship, he has been employed to protect it.
Back in Avocado City, JimmyJames has called an emergency meeting with the Avocado City Mafia (Squanchy, HappiestMan@Springfield, BikeKike, Paulie Almonds and Milkproof Robot) to discuss their defense plan against TheCleverGuy. BikeKike absolves himself from the situation, saying he was only part of the mafia for business reasons, and no longer wants to be involved if he has a serious chance of dying. An angry and vengeful JimmyJames responds by threatening to ruin BikeKike’s drug business. JimmyJames then asks the other mafia members for ideas, and they suggest they go look in Professor T’s abandoned lab, knowing he made more than his fair share of weapons, armour and the like over the years. JimmyJames sends Squanchy and Paulie Almonds to go investigate.
At the same time, Jane is being instructed by the two Bearded Garret Dillahunts to head to Professor T’s lab; Over the past 6 months working alongside MrsLangdonAlger, Jane has gotten all caught up on the events of Quantum Crossing, where the mods came in possession of a time travel remote, which is now safely locked away at Professor T’s abandoned lab. She and the BGDs have conceived a plan to steal said remote, travel back in time to when Dillahunt took over Avocado City (season 1’s Taking Initiative), and prevent him from ever being overthrown.
Meanwhile, Pucky and Pam are having breakfast together, in the run-down apartment they share with Kat, explaining the “living arrangement” line in the previous episode (Kat being Captain Utie’s daughter/Pucky’s former lover; she became a permanent Avocado City resident in Abandon Ship, and is now 8 months pregnant). Pucky tells Pam of his plan to make rent: Donating to a sperm bank. Pam isn’t exactly thrilled about this, but decides to be supportive on account of their dire financial predicament. Unfortunately, Pam finds herself unable to finish her eggs – on account of Kat’s abnormally loud and downright violent-sounding off-screen morning sickness – and Pucky interprets Pam’s visible queasiness as further unease about the situation.
Jane arrives at PT Laboratories at the same time as Squanchy and Paulie Almonds, though they do not see each other, as Jane is sneaking in through the roof and they are breaking in via the window. Unfortunately, the sound of Squanchy smashing the window below startles Jane above, causing her to trip and dislodge the scaffolding, which collapses and kills both Squanchy and Paulie Almonds. This sets off the security alarm, and Jane has no choice but to abandon her mission. Jane contacts the two BGDs over the walkie-talkie and informs them she was unable to get the time travel remote, and is now improvising instead – picking up a random weapon from the lab as she flees the scene. Due to the loud alarms in the background, the two BGDs only hear the first part of what Jane said (about her mission failure), and, believing the entire past 6 months with Jane to be a bust, head into the city to – in their words – “get her.”
Meanwhile, at the sperm bank, Pucky is visibly tense. He confesses to the nurse that he’s worried this whole situation with him, his girlfriend and his ex is going to result in him coming home one day to find Pam gone. It’s at this point Pucky learns he’s infertile – meaning he is NOT the father of Kat’s baby. Pucky runs home to tell Pam the news, only to discover she’s gone. We then learn that the two BGDs have kidnapped Pam, and are now fleeing Avocado City with her. On the way, they stumble upon a pile of bloody animal remains (the aftermath of the explosion The Prighlofone mentioned in the previous episode), and decide to coat the cabin with the blood to make it look like a murder scene. They reason that this will deter the Avocadians from looking for them, since everyone will think they’re dead. As Jane ominously approaches City Hall with a weapon in hand, the final shot of the episode is the blood-smeared cabin, looking exactly the same as it did in the flash-forward in Quantum Crossing (the same flashforward where Avocado City was now just a crater in the ground, implying that the fate we glimpsed is now unfolding).
Episode 3: “The Prisoner’s Dilemma”
Lovely Bones calls up Edgar Allan Hoe in prison to see how she’s doing – explaining that her attempts to get EAH’s sentence pardoned have yet to prove successful. Edgar Allan Hoe is in the same prison she was incarcerated in her frequently-mentioned past.
A series of flashbacks play out throughout the episode, set during EAH’s initial incarceration (mentioned several times throughout the series). EAH is serving a year-long sentence after being arrested for a righteous – but highly illegal – act of protest. In dire need of cash flow upon arrival to the slammer, EAH signs up for a trial program where prisoners serve as guinea pigs for experimental drugs. This is how she acquires the ability of hypnosis. Unfortunately, she doesn’t initially know how to control her new powers, and accidentally deploys them at an inopportune time, resulting in the tragic death of another inmate. EAH is wracked with guilt, but her focus quickly shifts to survival when she learns the inmate was the girlfriend of the most dangerous gang leader in the prison. We see EAH struggling through the remainder of her sentence, as the gang make several attempts on her life. Upon getting out, she vows to put this all behind her and move on.
Other flashbacks also depict the initial meeting of Edgar Allan Hoe and Lovely Bones (filling in the blanks between seasons 1 and 2). We learn that the two met while on the community clean-up crew following the events of Peril in City A. As their relationship blossoms over the next six months, we see them fall for each other. Lovely Bones eventually talks EAH into starting up “Savage Hoe” (her advice booth in BannerThief’s Sex Dungeon, first seen in Avast; “Savage Hoe” also being the name of a company that makes vibrating merkins, resulting in Edgar Allan Hoe’s incarceration in Abandon Ship for copyright infringement); this is part of the reason Lovely Bones feels so guilty for what’s happened to her girlfriend.
In present day, EAH tries to remain in high spirits after her phone call with Lovely Bones, only to encounter the gang leader mentioned earlier, who still very much wants revenge. She plots to attack EAH, and does so during her next phone call with Lovely Bones. EAH survives the altercation, with the fight being broken up by a guard. Unfortunately, this guard has it in for EAH – having almost lost her job over the aforementioned death during EAH’s previous incarceration. The guard naturally blames EAH for the fight, and drags her off to solitary confinement, where EAH is to spend the next month. The gang leader screams “when you get out, you’re dead!” Lovely Bones hears the entire thing over the phone, which was left hanging off the hook during the fight. Lovely Bones realises she now has one month to get her girlfriend out of prison.
NOTE: This episode would’ve been the first in the series to feature an exclusively female cast. There were also tentative plans for MrsLangdonAlger to script this episode, hence why the outline is more minimalistic than the others; MLA would’ve undoubtedly had a bunch of great ideas on how to flesh this one out more (particularly in regards to the side characters populating the prison, and the specifics of EAH’s original incarceration).
Episode 4: “The Wages of War”
MrsLangdonAlger is alone in City Hall, talking to Martha on the phone. Martha tells her that The Bluelight District is closing for the day while Psmith and Dame K are auditioning for the new daytime act, and the two make plans to catch up later that day. Just as this happens, Jane walks in to the room, wielding the weapon she acquired in Desperate Measures, and proceeds to attack MLA, who is understandably confused. MLA is able to flee from Jane and lock herself in one of the rooms in City Hall.
Meanwhile, Friendship Club (Uncanny Valet, Lutair and The Handsome Hound) are meeting up for drinks at The Megara Bar-a. It is the first time they’ve all been together in several months, as The Handsome Hound has been busy planning his wedding with Drunk Napoleon. Uncanny Valet and Lutair seem a little saddened by the recent disintegration of their group, but are happy to all be catching up again. It’s at this moment when they run into Drunk Napoleon doing some casual work at the bar. He’s been working multiple jobs so he and The Handsome Hound can afford their dream wedding – all of which is news to The Handsome Hound, who’s now concerned that their marriage may be being built on a foundation of dishonesty. Drunk Napoleon apologises to Hound and tells him he won’t take on any more jobs without first discussing it with him.
Pucky, meanwhile, is seeking consolation in Kat, who’s been coating the apartment in vomit due to her morning sickness, while occasionally burping fireballs. He is understandably devastated by Pam’s departure, believing that the arrangement between them and Kat was proving too much for her. Kat assures Pucky that Pam wouldn’t just up and leave like that, and Pucky reluctantly concurs, before remembering the news he’d come home to tell Pam – he’s infertile. He breaks this to Kat.
Meanwhile, the Avocado City Mafia are holding an impromptu funeral in the park for Squanchy and Paulie Almonds. JimmyJames believes that their deaths are the work of TheCleverGuy, and decides that the mafia needs to formulate a new plan to take him out. It’s at this point when they’re distracted by BikeKike selling drugs on the other side of the park, which JimmyJames views as an immense sign of disrespect. He decides to put his next move on hold so they can teach BikeKike a lesson, and begins looking through his contact list for some muscle.
Back at the apartment, Pucky and Kat are trying to figure out just how she could possibly be pregnant – she wasn’t particularly promiscuous during the time of conception, given she was stranded on an island full of toxic pirates. They begin running through their hook-ups in their minds, at which point, they recall the events of He Shoots, He Scores – prior to their first time together, Martha’s jizz-coated pineapple (“Pineapply”) had landed in the ocean next to Kat – and realise the baby is actually Martha’s. The two decide to go break the news to Martha. Pucky pulls out his phone and is about to send a message to Martha on Facetube, asking to meet up. He then sees that Martha has just checked in to City Hall, so he and Kat head there.
We cut back to City Hall, where MrsLangdonAlger is still hiding from a still homicidal Jane. While looking for MLA, Martha is attacked by Jane himself.
Meanwhile, JimmyJames approaches Drunk Napoleon – who was previously under JimmyJames’ employment before becoming a Leader Bean in Mutiny. JimmyJames offers Drunk Napoleon substantial amount of money in exchange for intimidating BikeKike. He is conflicted by the offer, and we cut away before he responds.
Pucky and Kat have arrived at City Hall, where they hear the skirmish between Martha and Jane. MLA emerges from her hiding place just as Pucky jumps in to help Martha, and the two are successfully able to subdue her. Everyone is baffled by what’s happening, when point Jane’s walkie-talkie (which she dropped during the fight with Martha) suddenly receives a transmission from Bearded Garret Dillahunt. He lets Jane know they’ve retreated to the cruise ship and will be leaving in a few minutes, with or without her, now that they have “collateral.” MLA, Martha and Pucky immediately recognise Dillahunt’s voice and, as MLA realises Jane must be under the control of BGD, so too does Pucky realise that Pam must have been taken prisoner by him. Just as everyone absorbs the weight of these revelations, Kat enters the room (saying something to the effect of “these stairs are not pregnancy-friendly!” to explain her delay in arriving) and tells Martha that he’s the father of her baby.
Episode 5: “Exodus”
We open on the cruise ship at sea, being commandeered by Bearded Garret Dillahunt and his alternate counterpart, with Pam tied up in the brig. The two BGDs have no plan now that Jane’s attempted attack has failed. A discussion between the pair over their next destination (and which one of them gets “dibs” on Pam) quickly escalates to an argument, and Pam uses the distraction to escape, by cutting the rope on a large green gemstone (very similar to the Omega Stone Gooch was seen guarding in Desperate Measures), stashed away on the ship by its previous occupants, the space pirates. As Pam makes her getaway, the two BGDs chase her across the deck, but she evades their capture and manages to jump overboard. The BGDs realise they’ve lost their only bargaining chip, each blaming the other for it, but before the argument escalates further, a loud “BOOM” noise is heard. The ship engine has blown, forcing the BGDs to hastily find unity in crisis. They realise they’re not too far from the coast of Hawaii, and steer the ship into the shore, where they find a bed & breakfast named “Bedside Manor.” As it turns out, the B&B is run by the former Joseph Stalin Memorial Hospital staff who lost their licenses – Dr. FlimFlam, Dr. Tonberry and Professor Lavahot. The two BGDs decide to enter with the most expensive-looking item they could find on the ship – the aforementioned gemstone – and trade it for a room. The Bedside Manor staff refuse, offering the BGDs a free room for the night, since they too were banished from Avocado City, and “everyone deserves a second chance.” The two BGDs immediately betray the three men’s trust, knocking them out with the gemstone and then locking them in the back room.
Meanwhile in Alabama, Blowey Farms is finishing up its harvest for the season. A content Joey – and a more troubled DaughterofUhtred – wonder what they’re going to do for the next few months. Joey’s noticed that DoU’s been going a little stir-crazy and attributes it to the isolation, suggesting they take a little vacation. DoU likes the idea at first, but when Joey goes on to suggest they visit their friends in Avocado City along the way, she decides against the trip completely.
We cut back to Bedside Manor, where the two BGDs are now posing as the bed & breakfast’s owners, with a new plan: To wait until they encounter guests with a suitable getaway vehicle they can steal. It’s at this point when a married couple – Lady L and Lady B – enter, asking if it’s okay to park their jet in the parking lot. The BGDs begin plying the couple with booze, hoping to get them wasted enough to steal the keys to their jet, but it turns out that they’re very talkative drunks. They proceed to tell the BGDs that they’re explorers, and had recently given up a long search for something called “the Alpha & Omega Stones,” when hearing the far-too-late news that one of the stones had been stolen by pirates. As they explain, the stones are a sort of electromagnetic ying & yang – each located at opposite ends of the world; the green Alpha Stone in Alaska, and the blue Omega Stone in Australia.
Legend has it that, when put together, the gemstones grant their finders complete invulnerability, splitting all realms between worlds and realities, which could theoretically allow one to harness control of the Antichrist. After being shown photos of the Alpha and Omega Stones, BGD recognises the former as the large green gemstone they used earlier. He whispers this to Alternate BGD – who seems more interested in hearing about the Antichrist – and Lady L and Lady B elaborate on the mythology.
Ancient prophecies have fortold of the birth of the Antichrist this year, in a sovereign province somewhere. Explaining that Jesus is not actually real, but the Antichrist somehow is, Lady L and Lady B say that prophecies claim its coming to existence is the unholy combination of otherworldly eggs being fertilised with demon spawn. Its place of birth will be cursed land, where instances of misery and suffering repeat (this spiel is accompanied with visuals of such instances from the first 2 seasons, as the omens get more specific; comas, brainwashings, addiction, etc. – and, of course, “debauchery,” accompanied exclusively by BannerThief flashbacks). Before they can finish, Lady L and Lady B are interrupted with the question “It’s Avocado City, isn’t it?” There’s an ominous pause, but they laugh it off and explain that they don’t personally believe the premonitions, they just do it for the love of history – and the hunt. They mention that they have other aspirations, such as podcasting and boating, at which point Alternate BGD cunningly decides to offer them the cruise ship in exchange for their jet (just in time to stop an agitated BGD from knocking them out).
Meanwhile, Joey confronts a shaken DoU, who confesses that she’s not quite ready to go back to Avocado City after what went down at Joseph Stalin Memorial Hospital. She clearly still feels responsible for the mass deaths caused by The Guac and isn’t ready to confront her trauma. A sympathetic Joey suggests an alternate way they can catch up with an old friend without having to return to Avocado City: By visiting Gooch in Australia instead. DoU likes the idea and the two begin packing.
Back in Hawaii, the two BGDs are in the explorers’ jet with the Alpha Stone strapped down behind them, preparing for takeoff. BGD asks Alternate BGD what the destination is (the same question that provoked their argument in the opening scene), and he responds “Australia.”
NOTES: * The space pirates can be seen carrying the Alpha Stone on board the cruise ship (after looting it during their sojourn to Alaska) at the 11:48 mark in Abandon Ship.
* This would’ve marked the series exit for the characters of Dr. FlimFlam, Dr. Tonberry and Professor Lavahot; as viewers, we essentially leave them locked in an enclosed space together with no regard for their fates, just as these characters themselves did to dozens of Avocadians in Fight or Flight. Doctors FlimFlam and Tonberry – the two members in that last who actually voiced themselves – had already recorded their dialogue for this cameo in advance (being members who were approached by me to do voices rather than people who volunteered of their own accord, I wanted to let them off the hook as early as possible given how much the project had snowballed, so I got their final lines in the can alongside their last batch of season 2 recordings).
* Lady L and Lady B were going to be respectively voiced by LibraryLass and Lovely Bones. The character names were tentative.
* During the initial exposition about the Antichrist, Ben was going to animate some visuals to go with the dialogue (much like to how long stretches of dialogue on the show would often be accompanied by silent flashbacks, background animations, etc.). I had talked about it with him when I was working on season 2, and while I can only ponder what the finished product would’ve looked like (since it would’ve all been contingent on Ben’s stylistic choices), I thought it would be a neat way to showcase his talent as an animator in a way that normally wasn’t possible with Avocado City. Of all the things I was most looking forward to in season 3, that one may be right at the top of the list!
Episode 6: “Moderate Rendezvous”
In Avocado City, Pucky, MLA and Martha are still reckoning with the information they learned at the end of The Wages of War. Pucky has agreed to return as a temporary mod to resolve this situation, since BGD has Pam. Martha is remaining under Molly’s employment, though he has agreed to retrieve the abandoned materials from the previous destruction-proof renovation of The Bluelight District, and use them to fortify City Hall instead, to help keep MLA and Pucky safe. MLA realises that the three of them won’t be enough to fend off the two BGDs, and asks Pucky if he can recruit the former Leader Beans to help out. While Pucky does this, MLA plans to visit with Professor T and see what they can do about Jane, who is still very much brainwashed. As everyone sets off on their tasks, Martha has a brief one-on-one with Kat. She tells him that she has no expectations of his involvement in the baby’s life given the circumstances of its conception. Martha assures Kat that he isn’t going to be a deadbeat dad, and says they’ll hash something out later, after the crisis at hand is resolved.
Meanwhile, Drunk Napoleon is sitting in the park with The Handsome Hound. We learn that Drunk Napoleon turned down JimmyJames’s job offer in The Wages of War, and has told The Handsome Hound all about it – which Hound appreciates. Pucky then shows up, briefs Drunk Napoleon on the dire situation at hand, and offers Drunk Napoleon a temporary job as a moderator. Drunk Napoleon is reluctant, but The Handsome Hound talks him into accepting it, reasoning that they won’t be able to have a good wedding at all if BGD is threatening the city. The two are subsequently able to talk to InnDEEEEEEED and Mindymoo to helping out – Inndy needs the work, and Mindy’s already got some time off from her job at the radio station as TheRadioCat is away on a business trip. It then dawns on them that there’s one more surviving Leader Bean whose skills they could utilise: Mello Yello Enthuasiast. As such, the former Leader Beans all head off to Alaska in InnDEEEEEEED’s helicopter.
Meanwhile, Professor T examines Jane (who is excessively restrained) and deduces that she’s under the spell of Donald Painting, though without any more GIFs in the world to override its Omega Waves, she may have to remain like that indefinitely.
Over at The Bluelight Distict, Psmith and Dame K have finally found a new daytime performer – MisterSplendiferous, a magician who specialises in pyrotechnics. The remaining members of the Avocado City Mafia are conferring in another part of the venue, plotting their next move. JimmyJames is annoyed that Drunk Napoleon refused to intimidate BikeKike as per his request, at which point, Lovely Bones approaches them. She agrees to put pressure on BikeKike herself, on the condition that the Avocado City Mafia use their black market connections to obtain a map of the prison where EAH is being held, as she is now planning a break-out.
Later, MLA and Pucky have both returned to City Hall. Out the front, Martha is piling up the destruction-proof materials from The Bluelight District’s old design, with the help of Molly (during which, we get another more glimps at their blossoming flirtatious relationship). Pucky tells MLA that the Leader Beans are on board. MLA is happy to hear that Pucky’s day brought better news than hers, though she acknowledges that this still won’t be enough, and if they want any chance of fending off BGD, they’ll need as many former mods as possible. This means paying a visit to Gooch, who is in Australia. She asks Martha if he wouldn’t mind looking after Avocado City until either she and Pucky return from Australia or the Leader Beans get back from Alaska; Martha is initially hesitant to agree but does so after Molly talks him into it, assuring him The Bluelight District isn’t going to burn down if he takes a few days’ leave. Lovely Bones goes to BikeKike’s restaurant and begins wrecking the kitchen – albeit in a very half-hearted fashion, as she’s just too damn nice to instill any genuine fear in him. BikeKike quickly figures out that she’s doing this for JimmyJames, and is annoyed that the Avocado City Mafia won’t leave him alone. The final scene is BikeKike approaching TheCleverGuy and telling him he has a proposal for a new partnership.
NOTE: When Psmith & Dame K announced that their search for a replacement daytime act had been completed, I was going to smash cut to a flashback montage of bad talent auditions from various Avocadians, serving as a companion piece to the “cheering up Pucky” montage from Rapid Descent, and the “Leader Bean interview” montage from Scientific Advances (the plan was to do one of these each season, especially since this final instance would’ve completed the “rule of threes” with the runner).
Episode 7: “Of Discord and Ordnance”
MLA and Pucky need a quick way to get to Australia, but quickly find the city’s cannon out of commission (due to the two BGDs disabling it in Desperate Times). Pucky asks what happened to the city’s second cannon, and MLA explains that the AV Club Military took it when they repossessed the palace in Peril in City A (the cannon was still on the palace grounds at the time after BGD’s brainwashed cronies moved it there in Malicious Practice). Pucky gulps, knowing that Avocado City’s relationship with the AV Club Military has been contemptuous ever since his theft/destruction of their Black Hawk helicopter in season 1’s Of Heads and Hearts (and the mods subsequently stealing a hummer). MLA is optimistic that, if she and Pucky can mend fences with the AV Club Military, they’ll be allowed to use said cannon, knowing that no other transportation option will get them to their destination quickly enough.
Meanwhile, TheCleverGuy and BikeKike are meeting in the park, plotting their takedown of the Avocado City Mafia. But before they can form a plan, LumberGini falls out of a nearby tree. We learn that, since the destruction of his treehouse in Abandon Ship (collateral damage from the erotic aviary explosion), he has been taking residence in various trees around the city. He’s just now learned that JimmyJames is responsible for the loss of his home – having overheard TheCleverGuy and BikeKike’s conversation – and asks if he can join the two in their crusade.
Over at Joseph Stalin Memorial Hospital, Kat is consulting with Dr. Nick in regards to her pregnancy’s abnormalities. She complains that her stomach constantly feels like it’s searing hot, and fireballs keep escaping every orifice possible. He examines her, and is immediately puzzled by his discovery, calling in another doctor.
MLA and Pucky arrive at the AV Club Military base. The AV Club has fallen on hard times since we last checked in with them (in part due to the same recession affecting Avocado City), and they’ve had to outsource their military protection to a third party organisation: A company by the name of Kinja that manufactures destructive weapons. The AV Club Military Base is now under the command of Colonel Kinja (personified by the Kinja logo wearing an army helmet), a villain as ruthless as he is short-tempered. MLA and Pucky attempt to extend an olive branch, but Colonel Kinja won’t hear any of it.
Meanwhile in the Avocado City hills, JimmyJames is setting up a spot with HappiestMan@Springfield to scope out BikeKike. HappiestMan@Springfield has become his right-hand man since the death of Squanchy, with JimmyJames grooming him to take on more responsibilities in the Avocado City Mafia. Lovely Bones approaches and tells them she’s held up her end of the bargain, before JimmyJames hands her the prison blueprints and she leaves to go in search of a tattoo parlour that specialises in cryptic messages. JimmyJames and HappiestMan@Springfield then begin their surveillance, where they see BikeKike meeting with both TheCleverGuy and LumberGini. Realising their intimidation plan has backfired and provoked their enemies to collude, JimmyJames tells HappiestMan@Springfield they’re going to need to arm up. HappiestMan@Springfield suggests they examine Doyle (the mechanical “SHOW ME YOUR…” monster that recently emerged in the city, as established earlier in Desperate Times), reasoning that it’s the most destructive thing in Avocado City outside of Professor T’s lab.
Meanwhile at Joseph Stalin Memorial Hospital, Dr. Nick has called in pretty much every medical staff member to examine Kat, and none of them can figure out what’s up with her pregnancy. He extends the request for assistance to every other hospital staffer, when the hospital chaplain, Alien Jesus, makes an ominous declaration that she is carrying the Antichrist. While the doctors naturally dismiss him (“You said the same thing about this being cursed land!”), a visibly distraught and uncomfortable Kat decides to end her appointment there and hastily exits the hospital to get some air.
Back at The AV Club Military Base, MLA and Pucky are still trying to plead their case to Colonel Kinja, who is finally starting to come around. He’s about to agree to their offer and let them use the cannon, when suddenly, some security alarms go off. Colonel Kinja heads to the surveillance room, at which point they spy JimmyJames on a monitor marked “Doyle.” We briefly cut to the Avocado City sewers, where JimmyJames tries to tamper with Doyle as HappiestMan@Springfield discovers a Kinja logo on its control panel. Colonel Kinja asks MLA, “Is he one of yours?” Upon learning that she does indeed know the man on the monitor, Colonel Kinja immediately rescinds his offer of assistance, and places MLA and Pucky under arrest, commanding his troops to take them to the military base jail.
* NOTE: MLA had previously mentioned in season 2’s Coalescence that the AV Club Military were in possession of the second cannon; a line of dialogue that was consciously setting up this storyline (and the AV Club Military’s return to the show, as they had been absent for season 2).
Episode 8: “Memory Palace”
Colonel Kinja’s troops are dragging MLA and Pucky across the AV Club military base, where we learn that the old moderator palace now functions as the base jail. MLA is about to send a text message to Martha: “Can you check Doyle? Think JimmyJames is up to something. AVC Military taking us to the old palace,” but her phone is knocked out of her hands before she can send it.
Back in Avocado City, JimmyJames is still trying to tinker with Doyle, at which point the mechanical monster’s security mechanisms go off, and a protective steel casing forms around Doyle’s exterior. JimmyJames gets trapped inside the casing, commanding HappiestMan@Springfield to go get help. HappiestMan@Springfield climbs out of the sewer and heads for City Hall, passing Lutair, Uncanny Valet and BannerThief. The three are having a Friendship Club hangout sans The Handsome Hound, who’s still too busy planning his wedding to hang out with them. After briefly expressing concern over whether they’ll still see Hound as much after he gets married, they decide to go on an impromptu adventure. Lutair mentions having a fun activity in mind, before we smash cut to Friendship Club on the AV Club Military base, and BannerThief says “This isn’t what I thought you meant when you talked about getting a hummer.” The camera does a long pan across the military base, briefly passing Colonel Kinja giving orders to his troops as they prepare to storm Avocado City, before panning over to the palace. Inside, MLA and Pucky are imprisoned in their former home – the palace itself remaining largely untouched since we last time saw it, due to the lack of prisoners kept alive on-site (hence the troops not knowing about the palace’s prison chamber). With no other options, MLA and Pucky each decide to examine the palace room-by-room, looking for further information on their imprisonment, or a possible escape window.
Over in Avocado City, HappiestMan@Springfield arrives at a partially-renovated City Hall, where Martha is keeping watch over a still-brainwashed Jane. He tells Martha that something’s happened with Doyle. Unsure what to do, Martha calls Professor T. Professor T is willing to help again, but makes it clear he’s not coming out of retirement – and expresses doubt he’ll be able to do much given Doyle’s inaccessible location.
At the AV Club Military Base, Friendship Club have commandeered a (stationary) Black Hawk helicopter, and are goofing around in the cockpit – save for Banner, who’s upset that he once again misunderstood what he was agreeing to, having heard “Black Hawk” as something else. Elsewhere on the base, we follow MLA as her search takes her through different rooms in the palace, all previously seen at key points in season 1’s narrative, and she begins to reminisce. A series of flashbacks play out, with the palace scenes repeatedly transitioning between present-day admin MLA and early-day mod MLA, filling in a few small blanks in the show’s backstory (bearing in mind that they were living in the palace for roughly 6 months prior to the events of the very first episode). As the flashbacks unfold, we slowly see Avocado City’s initial surge in prominence and population; a development that prompted them to hire Jane, and unknowingly put them on Spot.IM’s radar in the first place. The final flashback was to be set on the day Dikachu, MLA, Martha, Cookie Monster, Pucky and Gooch first moved in. While the other mods unpack, Dikachu confides in MLA that he’s nervous about the new endeavour. He makes mention of “Operation Phoenix” – a last resort back-up plan for the absolute worst-case scenario – gesturing to a distinct looking safe. Present-day MLA finds the safe in question, but discovers it has a fingerprint lock rendering it inaccessible to anyone other than Dikachu (much like the bomb in season 2). It’s at this point when Pucky enters the room, having found a top-secret Kinja document on the premises. He claims there’s something big about Kinja inside, at which point the pair spy Friendship Club on the base out the window. They call out, but cannot be heard through the newly-installed reinforced bulletforced glass. They realise that, in order to get Friendship Club’s attention, one of them will need to stick something up their ass so the scent of anal play attracts Banner, and proceed to rock-paper-scissors to determine who does so. Over on the palace lawn, Friendship Club pick up MLA’s dropped phone, and see the text message she was typing to Martha. We cut back to the palace as Pucky is about to insert a lubed-up cucumber into himself, at which point Friendship Club barge through the doors, with Banner quipping, “Hey, don’t let me stop you.”
Back in Avocado City, Martha is keeping watch at an open manhole in the sewers. Below, Professor T is doing all he can to examine Doyle from the confines of his wheelchair – an act that proves to be far more manageable than Professor T first predicted. Martha gets a call from MLA, who’s just gotten her phone back, answering the phone right as The AV Club Military show up at Avocado City and begin rounding up residents with great hostility. Pucky believes he can stop Colonel Kinja with the information he’s uncovered in the top-secret folder, so MLA decides it’s best that Pucky pilots Friendship Club – and the folder – back to Avocado City (seeing as he’s the only one who knows how to fly a Black Hawk), while she heads to Australia alone. Parting ways with the others, MLA climbs into the cannon and blasts herself off. She lands in the Australian outback, and the camera zooms out to reveal Gooch’s dead body nearby, with no sign of the Omega Stone in sight.
NOTES: * When MLA and Pucky began looking through the palace, the sequence would’ve been scored to Trophy Scars’ “Chicago Typewriter” – with an abridged cut that would’ve merged the first half of verse 1 with the back half of verse 2 (for a lyrical reference – this would be the first Jerry Jones segment and the second Adam Fisher segment) before jumping to the repeated cries of “In every home a ghost exists, with every moan the house admits” near the 3:30 mark and fading out.
* In a far more rudimentary outline of the season, this was conceived as the show’s third musical episode, titled “Reverse Chorus” (continuing the titles established by the previous 2, Traverse Chorus and Inverse Chorus). The idea was abandoned very early; the episode’s premise just didn’t lend itself well to a series of musical numbers, given the restrictions posed by setting all the flashbacks in the palace. As a compromise, the plan was to forgo a musical episode entirely in the final season, and insert some musical numbers across several different episodes when possible.
Episode 9: “The Underworld”
We open in Australia, which is depicted as a barren post-apocalyptic wasteland in the vein of Mad Max. MLA briefly mourns Gooch after discovering his corpse, before wondering just how the hell she’s going to get home. She then spots a passenger jet in the air landing nearby, and proceeds to run after it.
In Avocado City, the AV Club Military troops hold the citizens at gunpoint while Colonel Kinja deactivates Doyle, releasing a very bruised JimmyJames from its protective casing. A Black Hawk helicopter lands, and Pucky, Lutair, Uncanny Valet and BannerThief get out. Colonel Kinja threatens to kill Pucky then and there for the theft of the Black Hawk, but Pucky waves the top secret Kinja folder and says “I don’t think you want to do that.”
Back in Australia, Joey and DaughterOfUhtred are seen leaving the airstrip where the passenger jet has landed (having decided to make a trip down under earlier in the season in Exodus), when MLA runs up to them. After a brief reunion, she explains the situation to Joey and DoU. The two are saddened to learn the person they were planning on visiting is now dead, and decide to hitch a flight back with to America with MLA – although they decline to her offer to go back to Avocado City with her once they land. As the passenger jet pilot announces he’s about to make the return trip, the three return to the airstrip and board the plane, where they see another passenger who boarded during their conversation: Pam.
Meanwhile in Alaska, InnDEEEEEEED, Mindymoo and Drunk Napoleon have arrived, and make a startling discovery: With all the time he’s spent in isolation, Mello Yello Enthuasiast has lost his mind, filling the Mello Yello factory with co-workers he’s built out of snow (similar to BGD’s snow family from The Mountain Man Returnerth). He’s no longer in any condition to run the factory – which doesn’t appear to have been functional for some time – and barely recognises his old friends. As he absent-mindedly attempts to power up a backed-up production line, he clogs the machine and the factory catches fire. The Leader Beans have to drag Mello from burning factory – a fact he doesn’t seem to even register – and decide they need to fly him back to Avocado City for medical attention.
Back in Avocado City, Pucky reveals the classified information inside the folder: Doyle is a failed Kinja experiment gone haywire. It was created to guard the palace, but when they programmed Doyle’s stationary co-ordinates, they accidentally sent it to the palace’s former location in Avocado City, rather than its current one on the AV Club Military Base. Kinja have knowingly kept quiet about their mistake, just as they have the slew of innocent civilians Doyle’s killed; information that could ruin Kinja if it ever got out. An agreement is reached, and Colonel Kinja will leave Avocado City alone so long as the Avocadians keep quiet and Doyle remains deactivated.
Meanwhile, on a now-airborne passenger jet below the equator, Pam has caught up with MLA, Joey and DoU. She explains what happened: When she jumped overboard the cruise ship in Exodus, she did not go into the water, and instead landed on the lower deck. Following this, she ran to the engine room and took out the ship’s engine, before hiding on board the cruise ship until the two Bearded Garret Dillahunts docked. She then snuck into Bedside Manor as the two BGDs were talking with Lady L and Lady B, overhearing everything about the Alpha/Omega Stones and the Antichrist. She, too, realised the BGDs were already in possession of the Alpha Stone, and so she snuck onto the explorer’s jet while the BGDs were trying to start it up. As such, all 3 of them made the trip to Australia without the BGDs realising Pam was still with them. After exiting the jet, she then witnessed the encounter between the BGDs and Gooch, with a flashback confirming that the two did indeed murder Gooch, before stealing the Omega Stone and leaving together with it in the jet (Pam doesn’t know exactly what the BGDs’ endgame is, but knows that they’re heading for Avocado City, and their plan involves the Alpha/Omega Stones). This subsequently stranded Pam in Australia, until she too bolted for the passenger jet when she saw it land. MLA mentions how happy Pucky’s going to be when Pam returns, at which point MLA remembers the news Pucky wanted to share with her: Martha is the father of Kat’s baby. Pam then recalls what she heard about the Antichrist: “Otherworldly eggs fertilised with demon spawn.” They realise that the two BGDs are planning on using the gemstones to harvest the Antichrist’s demonic powers for their own sordid desires, and not only is Avocado City going to be in the middle of this, but the two BGDs already have a significant head start.
We close on the image of the two BGDs in the explorers’ jet, entering US airspace. BGD asks his counterpart if he thinks he’s flying too close to the sun. Alternate BGD responds “No. I think we’re flying too close to the sun. After all, you can’t spell Icarus without us,” then menacingly mutters to himself “…Or I.”
Episode 10: “Deliverance”
We open with InnDEEEEEEED’s helicopter landing at the Avocado City helipad, and InnDEEEEEEED, Mindymoo and Drunk Napoleon exiting, the three of them then carting Mello Yello Enthusiast into an ambulance before heading to City Hall. We briefly track the ambulance until it passes the Avocado City cathedral; Inside, Kat is in confessional with Alien Jesus. Having taken to heart the warnings he gave in Of Discord and Ordnance, she proceeds to contemplate just what it would mean if her child actually turned out to be the Antichrist. Kat’s clearly distraught by the weight of the situation and the lack of any positive outcome it could possibly pose. Alien Jesus concedes that the world can be a cruel and unfair place, to the point where many might say we’re already in hell. Kat asks Alien Jesus what he thinks, and he says that he believes the world will only become hell if we stop looking out for our fellow people. Kat proceeds to vomit up lava, and Alien Jesus asks her if she’d like a ride to the hospital, since he’s about to head there for his part-time gig as hospital chaplain. She refuses the offer, claiming it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Alien Jesus asks her if she’s sure, noting the weird noises – and steam – being emitted from her body, but Kat insists.
Outside City Hall, the Leader Beans meet up with Pucky, who received a call earlier from MrsLangdonAlger. During this call, MLA confirmed she’ll be returning with Pam that evening – much to Pucky’s relief – while also catching him and Martha up on the Antichrist/gemstones/Bearded Garret Dillahunts situation. While Drunk Napoleon leaves to check in with The Handsome Hound (it’s their wedding tomorrow), Pucky puts the final touches on City Hall’s reinforcements, following some designs from Martha drawn in crayon. He sends the two remaining Leader Beans to go search Avocado City for the BGDs and/or Kat – with Mindymoo scouting Avocado City on foot, and InnDEEEEEEED in his helicopter.
Inside City Hall, Professor T has finally made a breakthrough with Jane, having gotten an idea from Doyle’s protective casing. As he explains to Martha, his new plan is to inject nanobots into Jane and have them build a barrier around Jane’s synapses, severing the connection between her brain and the omega waves. He asks Martha if he can assist with the procedure, and Martha is happy to have the distraction, having felt dispirited since learning Kat’s actually pregnant with the Antichrist. Professor T and Martha proceed to put Jane under.
Meanwhile, Kat is waiting at a bus stop, when her (beyond boiling) water suddenly breaks. Kat’s screams about needing to go to the hospital are heard by the two BGDs, driving nearby in a PitStop car they’ve presumably hijacked (PitStop being Avocado City’s rideshare app, as established in Couple’s Day). Since the two were already headed to the hospital to wait for a demonic newborn to emerge, they offer Kat a lift in the hopes she’ll shout them gas. Having not met BGD before and thus failing to recognise either version of him as the man Avocado City’s on the lookout for, she gets in. After some bickering about the best route to the hospital, the BGDs eventually notice Kat’s abnormal symptoms – along with her panicked labour-induced murmurings about the Antichrist – and come to the realisation that they’ve found the person they were they were looking for. The car drives right past Joseph Stalin Memorial Hospital and a fearful Kat asks where the hell they’re taking her, the shot lingering on the hospital as the PitStop car speeds speed up out of frame.
In a private hospital room, JimmyJames is recuperating after getting trapped inside Doyle’s protective casing in Memory Palace (Mello Yello Enthusiast being carried down the hallway in a gurney in the background of the scene). He confers with the remaining members of the Avocado City Mafia, HappiestMan@Springfield and Milkproof Robot. HappiestMan@Springfield suggests that JimmyJames’ injuries may be a sign he should bury the hatchet, but JimmyJames doubles down, insisting they need to strike now, before TheCleverGuy takes advantage of his recent incapacitation. JimmyJames orders Milkproof Robot to take his brother out.
Meanwhile in City Hall (an exterior shot showing Pucky just about done with its renovations), Jane is out cold. Professor T is guiding the nanobots through her system via a camera, when he makes a startling discovery: There are already Kinja-brand nanobots inside her. Martha asks if this’ll be a problem, and Professor T responds “Only one way to find out.”
Over at the helipad, InnDEEEEEEED returns to his chopper, when Lovely Bones sneaks up on him and hesitantly holds what appears to be a syringe up to his throat, demanding he fly her to the penitentiary where EAH is being held, “or else.” As she bounces between exhibiting faux menace and apologising, Inndy reluctantly starts up the chopper.
Over at the park, The Handsome Hound and Drunk Napoleon are meeting up for the final time before their wedding, the sun setting behind them. Hound asks Drunk Napoleon if he’ll have enough time to make it to Washington County for the wedding after his final Leader Bean mission, and Drunk Napoleon reminds him that this is all so they can afford the wedding – and that he wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Meanwhile at The Bluelight District (the exterior shot showing Mindymoo on the streets conducting her search), TheCleverGuy, BikeKike and LumberGini are meeting with The Prighlofone, in the hopes that he’ll build them a bomb of their own. Before Prigh can respond, Milkproof Robot bursts in and starts shooting at TheCleverGuy – who is sitting right by the stage, where the club’s new performer, MisterSplendiferous, is doing his pyrotechnic act. Startled by the gunshots, MisterSplendiferous fumbles his performance, resulting in a small blaze that becomes a big one when it interacts with Prigh’s bag of explosives – and an even bigger one when the fire reaches the absinthe gas behind the bar, where Milkproof Robot is standing. The explosion kills Milkproof Robot, while TheCleverGuy, BikeKike and LumberGini all escape unscathed, as does everyone else in the club. Outside, as The Bluelight District burns down, Dame K and Psmith console a devastated Molly, while The Prighlofone turns to TheCleverGuy and says “I’ve considered your offer, and I think I’ll pass.”
Back at City Hall, where night has fallen, a newly-recovered Jane awakens, with Professor T’s experiment proving a success. Jane thanks him for freeing her from the BGDs’ mental prison, gleefully cursing up a storm in the process. Professor T informs Jane of the discovery he made during the procedure, and Jane realises that the Kinja nanobots must be left over in her system from when she transformed into a tank (resulting in her becoming a Jane/tank hybrid known as “Jank” for a season 1 arc, beginning in Rendered Defenseless and concluding in The Clash upon the Capital). Seeing as Jane is otherwise fine, they shrug it off.
Immediately after this, Pam and MLA finally return, and some brief heartwarming reunions ensue; namely, Pucky and Pam seeing each other for the first time since Desperate Measures, and MLA getting her best friend back now that Jane’s finally in control of her mind again. MLA also mentions that Joey and DoU say hi, confirming they did indeed part ways with MLA and Pam when the four arrived in America (as they said they’d do in The Underworld). Mindymoo and Drunk Napoleon also return to City Hall to join the tail-end of the reunions. Martha, meanwhile, gets a call from Molly, and upon hearing the distress in her voice, exits the frame to talk privately, where he learns what happened to The Bluelight District. Following this, Mindymoo informs the others that she couldn’t find Kat or the BGDs, and has lost contact with InnDEEEEEEED. Jane asks if the BGDs are still trying to obtain the time travel remote. Having only just learned that this was the Dillahunts’ initial objective, Professor T sets off to his laboratory to retrieve the stowed-away remote with Jane’s assistance (reasoning his lab will be the first place they’ll look if they’re still in pursuit of it).
Suddenly, a voice is heard coming from the walkie-talkie the mods retrieved in The Wages of War (previously used by Jane to communicate with the BGDs). It’s Kat – as it turns out, the BGDs still had the other walkie-talkie, and Kat managed to get a hold of it during the pair’s most recent quarrel. She tells everybody the horrible news: Not only have the Dillahunts taken her captive, but she’s just given birth (with an extremely low-pitched baby cry heard in the background). As an ominous music sting rings out, we close on a long shot of Avocado City with a red star glowing above the night skyline.
NOTE: This episode would’ve gradually transitioned from day to night over its runtime (as the show often did), with the bulk of the following episode taking place at night.
Episode 11: “Chrysalis”
We open on the image of the newly born Antichrist, the camera zooming out to reveal a Bearded Garret Dillahunt on either side of it, while also revealing the location the pair took Kat: The abandoned warehouse where BGD himself was interrogated in Scientific Advances. While the two BGDs are now in possession of the Antichrist, their plan is only half complete, as the Alpha and Omega Stones are safely locked away on the explorers’ jet, and the Antichrist’s power cannot be harnessed without first putting the two gemstones together in its presence (as established in Exodus). The BGDs overhear MLA on the walkie-talkie asking Kat where she is, but they smash it before Kat can answer. The pair realise Kat’s a liability and decide that they need to knock her out before she draws suspicion to the place (at which point we briefly cut to an exterior shot revealing the enormous jet parked just by the factory warehouse, with the abanadoned PitStop car also in sight). The BGDs each search their personal stash of emergency flasks to find the booze with the highest proof, then apply it to a rag and use it like chloroform on an already-woozy Kat. She passes out, and the BGDs toss her body outside via a hollow window frame in the wall. They both try to subdue the Antichrist so they can go retrieve the gemstones from the jet without it escaping. Unfortunately, this proves a more difficult feat than expected, given the Antichrist’s mercilessly feral nature.
Meanwhile, TheCleverGuy, BikeKike and LumberGini are making their way through the Avoacdo City sewers, having decided that they need to take out JimmyJames as soon as they can (following Milkproof Robot’s failed assassination attempt in the previous episode). They believe they’ll have the upper hand if they ambush the hospital via the sewers rather than the main entrance. A very high BikeKike accidentally breaks Avocado City’s internet cable as he stumbles through the sewers, and TheCleverGuy reminds him to be careful, as they’re approaching Doyle. As the three try to climb past the giant mechanical monster (still deactivated after the events of The Underworld), BikeKike struggles with the tight squeeze, and accidentally flicks a switch on Doyle that powers it back on; none of them realising this is due to Doyle’s delayed start-up (Kinja technology really sucks). Unfortunately, the AV Club Military are made aware instantly, as we cut to their base and Colonel Kinja is informed that the Avocadians have powered Doyle back up. Enraged, Colonel Kinja rounds up his troops and tells them they’re going back to Avocado City, as he climbs into a tank proceeds to lead the army off-base.
Meanwhile in the sky, InnDEEEEEEED’s still piloting his helicopter as Lovely Bones’ hostage. LB tells him that she’s breaking out Edgar Allan Hoe, who has acquired a target on her head in prison and is getting released from solitary at sunrise. Inndy then notices what Lovely Bones is holding to his neck: Not a syringe with lethal fluid, as he first assumed, but a tattoo needle. Lovely Bones confesses that she had a much more elaborate plan involving a full-body tattoo of the prison blueprints, but soon realised that getting one in such short time would be impossible, and so had to improvise. InnDEEEEEEED tells Lovely Bones that if he would’ve offered his help had she asked. Lovely Bones puts the tattoo needle down, and the two continue their flight together.
Back at City Hall, MLA’s still trying the walkie-talkie but is not receiving a response. Panicked, the other Avocadians present – Pucky, Pam, Martha, Jane, Professor T, Mindymoo and Drunk Napoleon – wonder just how the hell they’re going to find the Antichrist-rearing Dillahunts now. Suddenly, Slowmaster Slotcar runs up, revealing his PitStop car had been hijacked again by the same man who’d stolen it previously (as BGD did in Quantum Crossing) – only this time, there were two of them. Realising immediately it must be the BGDs, MLA asks Slowmaster Slotcar if he has any way of tracking the vehicle; he says he just needs a computer with internet.
They all head inside to the City Hall computer, which Martha is in the process of using. He’s been trying to post a notice online telling all the citizens of Avocado City to seek sanctuary at City Hall, but has just come to realise the city’s internet is out. MLA sends the remaining Leader Beans out to investigate the underground internet cable; Slowmaster Slotcar also volunteers to go with the Leader Beans, reasoning his intimate knowledge of the Avocado City streetmap could prove useful for navigating the sewers. This leaves MLA keeping guard at City Hall with Martha, while Pam and Pucky volunteer to help round up citizens and bring them back to City Hall.
Over in a nearby city, we learn where Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred decided to go upon returning to the US: To visit some other former Avocadians – Jaye Tyler and Dino Optometrist, who just so happened to be performing nearby that night (it was previously been established in Desperate Times that the two followed in Dikachu’s footsteps and left Avocado City to pursue a musical career). During their performance, the pair spot Joey and DoU in the crowd.
Meanwhile at Joseph Stalin Memorial Hospital, Alien Jesus encounters Mello Yello Enthusiast recovering in bed, in just as poor a state of mind as when we last saw him. Upon hearing Mello’s barely-lucid ramblings, Alien Jesus comes to the belief he’s speaking in tongues, and sets out to retrieve his holy water. As Alien Jesus runs out the building, TheCleverGuy, BikeKike and LumberGini emerge from a drain in the floor, all packing heat. TheCleverGuy leads his crew through the hospital wing as other scared patients run out through a very clearly labelled “ESCAPE” door (presumably installed after the events of season 2). They eventually encounter JimmyJames in his room with HappiestMan@Springfield, who’ve both already drawn their guns, creating a 2-against-3 Mexican standoff.
Back in the helicopter, things are now amicable between InnDEEEEEEED and Lovely Bones, with LB asking Inndy about his helicopter pilot training. Inndy then proceeds to show LB a few moves in the chopper, with LB eventually taking the controls herself and successfully executing a loop-de-loop. The two let out a triumphant cheer and enjoy the exhilarating moment, continuing on their mission with a newfound bond between them.
Over in Avocado City, Pam and Pucky are on the streets trying to direct citizens to the safety of City Hall. It’s a quiet night and there aren’t many citizens out in the vicinity, though they are able to redirect a few Avocadians – one of whom is TheRadioCat, having just returned from his business trip (mentioned by Mindymoo in Moderate Rendezvous). After posting a few flyers, Pam and Pucky start making their way to the busier part of the city, each visibly delighted to be back in the other’s company again. Unfortunately, that quickly dissipates as Colonel Kinja rolls into Avocado City in a tank. The entire AV Club Military marches behind him, firing warning shots into the air as they did the first time they stormed the city. Pam and Pucky hide behind a dumpster as the visibly hostile AV Club Military continue past them. The couple proceed to run back to City Hall to tell MLA about this dreadful development.
Meanwhile in the abandoned warehouse, the Dillahunts are still trying to restrain a very hyperactive Antichrist, arguing further in the process. BGD tells his alternate counterpart that they should be following his lead, reasoning that he knows the warehouse better due to being tied to a chair inside it for so long. Alternate BGD says “Wait, that actually worked?” and proceeds to tie the Antichrist to a chair. BGD tries to claim credit for the victory.
Backstage after Jaye Tyler and Dino Optometrist’s performance, the two have reunited with Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred, and are reminiscing about Avocado City together. Unlike Joey and DoU, Jaye and Dino miss Avocado City greatly, their fond words stirring up nostalgia in Joey and DoU. The two performers eventually check their phones to find messages from their former co-workers, and the four all learn about the destruction of The Bluelight Special together. Jaye and Dino are saddened by the news, wishing they could’ve had an Avocado City stop on their tour so they could check in with everyone – at which point, Joey and DoU offer to do so instead. Joey asks DoU if she’s sure, and DoU admits she’s nervous, but acknowledges she has to face her fears eventually.
In the hospital, HappiestMan@Springfield is pleading with JimmyJames and TheCleverGuy to put their sibling rivalry behind them and make amends before any more blood is spilled. Both exhausted from their recent brushes with death, the two brothers actually seem to be taking his words on board, and are just about to put their guns down when, nearby, Colonel Kinja and his troops pass by the window, still firing shots into the air. Not realising the gunfire is coming from outside, everyone in JimmyJames’ hospital room starts wildly shooting up the place. BikeKike cops a fatal wound in the crossfire; a brief moment of remorse appearing over the face of his killer, JimmyJames, who then uses the distraction to escape through the window. HappiestMan@Springfield follows him, narrowly avoiding the gunfire from TheCleverGuy in the process. The camera pans back over to Colonel Kinja, who has heard the mobsters’ gunfire and reacted by declaring the residents of Avocado City hostile. His men shoot dead Alien Jesus, who was returning to the hospital with his holy water. The vial smashes and its contents pour into the sewer via a manhole, while Colonel Kinja climbs out of his tank. He then opens up the manhole and instructs his troops to shoot anyone they encounter on sight as they all file into the sewers.
Meanwhile, Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo have headed down to the sewers with Slowmaster Slotcar, in the hopes of restoring Avocado City’s internet. Unfortunately, they’ve come to the realisation that this will require a professional, and Drunk Napoleon glumly acknowledges it may be some time before they can locate the stolen PitStop car. Slowmaster Slotcar then asks, “Would it help if I told you where they parked their jet?” He subsequently reveals he encountered the two in the industrial district. Rrealising that’s not too far away, the three of them start heading there via the sewer tunnels. As they make a turn around a blind corner, they suddenly encounter the AV Club Military, who immediately start firing shots. Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo start running as Slowmaster Slotcar is gunned down to his death, heading down another pipe where they encounter a now-active Doyle. Doyle screams “SHOW ME YOUR… CAT PICTUUUUURRRR…” and proceeds to go on the fritz, sparks flying in all directions.
An establishing shot shows InnDEEEEEEED’s helicopter over an early dawn sky, with a slight glimmer of sunrise creeping up, and the silhouette of the penitentiary in the distance. In the chopper, Lovely Bones remarks that they’re almost there, and as Inndy asks her for some pointers about being on the run, Lovely Bones comes to the realisation that she can’t bring an innocent party into this and risk making Inndy a fugitive too. She grabs the controls from Inndy, and before he can realise what’s happening, straps a parachute pack to him and pushes him out, yelling “I’m sorry!” as he falls from the chopper. LB continues flying toward the prison in the helicopter solo, while a befuddled Inndy parachutes to safety.
The Bearded Garret Dillahunts, meanwhile, have returned to the warehouse with the Alpha and Omega Stones. We see the Antichrist tied to a chair with a gemstone on either side, calling back to the episode’s opening visual. As Alternate BGD says “So all we need to do is connect the gemstones and then I can absorb the Antichrist?” BGD asks why it would be him, and an extremely heated argument breaks out between about which BGD gets to merge with the Antichrist. As BGD argues it should be him since they’re in his universe, Alternate BGD takes advantage of BGD’s one weakness, promising him Pam in exchange for his acquiescence. BGD accepts these terms, and the pair connect the Alpha and Omega Stones.
Meanwhile outside City Hall (where a small number of citizens can also be seen gathered inside), an out-of-breath Pam and Pucky have returned, and are telling MLA and Martha about Colonel Kinja’s invasion. Their words trail off completely as the sky becomes a hurricane of hellfire and a wormhole opens up just overhead; a result of the gemstones having been connected. Over at the warehouse, we see Alternate BGD fuse with the Antichrist to become a large, flying demonic creature. He blasts through the warehouse’s ceiling and proceeds to spray it with fireballs, the roof of the building collapsing on BGD.
Back at City Hall, small objects swirl around the sky as the mysterious wormhole grows. As Professor T and Jane return from PT Laboratories, time travel remote in hand, Professor T glimpses the wormhole and says he has a device in his lab that can close it. He hands Jane the time travel remote before wheeling himself back off. Unsure what action to take now that Armageddon is unfolding, the mods ask MrsLangonAlger what they should do. MLA doesn’t have any suggestions, but reminds them that City Hall is the safest place in Avocado City right now. Just as she says this, the nearby wormhole grows stronger, and sucks the five of them in. After a brief voyage through a vortex, MLA, Pam, Pucky, Martha and Jane look up to find themselves on the steps of a very placid – and strange-looking – City Hall. A familiar voice says “Well, hello again,” and the shot zooms out to reveal Alternate Dikachu, standing at the entrance to Universe B’s City Hall.
Episode 12: “The Other Side”
We open in Universe B, where Alternate Dikachu has reunited with MLA, Pam, Pucky and Martha on the steps of Alternate City Hall. Also present is Jane, who’s uncharacteristically quiet, since this is her first time both travelling to Universe B and meeting Alternate Dikachu. No one is quite sure how they wound up back in this specific universe given the vast number that potentially exist, with Alternate Dikachu hypothesising that their previous meeting could have established some sort of ethereal bind between the two universes.
It isn’t long, however, before the question changes from “How did we get here?” to “How the hell are we going to get home?” Jane finally speaks up, reminding them that she’s in possession of a time travel remote. They quickly realise that, by using the time travel remote, they can go back to a point in time when the portal between Universe A and B was still open, cross back to their universe, then continue to open time portals until they’re back at the point in time they left (they decide against using time travel to otherwise intervene with the course of history, deeming that altering the space-time continuum could be so potentially catastrophic, only a supervillain would attempt to do so).
Before they set off to do so, however, MLA takes Alternate Dikachu aside and asks him about Operation Phoenix (established as Dikachu’s mysterious “ultimate back-up plan” in Memory Palace). Alternate Dikachu knows exactly what MLA is talking about, having had the same idea himself. She asks what it is, and he whispers his answer to her. MLA says, “Do you really think that’d work?” and Alternate Dikachu responds “Yes… But you’d need everyone.” He then goes on to tell her that he had some more elaborate schematics written up. Just like Universe A’s Dikachu, he locked them away in a safe back at the old palace. While Universe B’s palace was destroyed in the Spot.IM spambot onslaught. they reason that the safe itself should still be in tact. Alternate Dikachu sets off to the ruins of the palace with MLA and Jane, inviting the other mods to stay and check out their rebuilt Avocado City.
Over in Universe A, we follow Edgar Allan Hoe as she is released from solitary confinement and escorted across the penitentiary yard. Through a nearby window, EAH sees the gang leader from The Prisoner’s Dilemma, wielding a shiv with great malevolence. It’s at this point when Lovely Bones lands the helicopter inside the prison. The guard escorting Edgar Allan Hoe proceeds to shoot at the helicopter, as other guards around the prison emerge to do the same. Realising it’s her girlfriend at the controls, EAH starts running for the chopper, taking cover behind some bleachers to avoid the guards’ gunfire. Lovely Bones yells “Get in!” and starts to take off, with EAH making one final dash, successfully jumping on and climbing in. Turrets are fired from the guard towers, with Lovely Bones putting into action some evasive manoeuvres she learned from InnDEEEEEEED. A brief action sequence ensues and the helicopter eventually clears the prison parameter, flying off to safety. LB and EAH celebrate their victory and embrace each other for the first time in 8 months. EAH asks Lovely Bones where she learned to fly a chopper, and LB tells her about her attempted kidnapping of InnDEEEEEEED, and the pair’s impromptu helicopter lesson. LB then goes to show EAH a loop-de-loop, but the helicopter winds up clipping a power line and crashing into a hill.
Over in Universe B, the mods are exploring the alternate Avocado City, which has been fully rebuilt and is prospering. Just as Alternate Dikachu once talked about using Universe A’s Avocado City as a blueprint for when they rebuild, Pucky and Pam similarly find inspiration in Universe B’s Avocado City. The couple come to find the community garden, and Pam starts talking about all the vegetables they could plant back home. Pucky remarks how relaxing gardening sounds after everything they’ve been through lately.
Meanwhile, Martha has gone to the site of The Bluelight District, only to learn it never existed in Alternate Avocado City (Bluelight was killed by Spot.IM’s spambots, and so he never opened a club, nor did he meet Molly). He then sees Alternate Molly heading across the street to Tuition (TheCleverGuy’s strip club, established in Blue Heat as the venue directly across the street from The Bluelight District until he closed it down in Fight or Flight). Not only is it still active in Universe B, but Alternate Molly begrudgingly works there as a bartender. Martha goes in and the two converse at the bar; he asks why she’s working here and Alternate Molly tells him how she’s fallen on hard times. Martha confides in Alternate Molly about his own recent tribulations, and in the process, admits he has conflicting feelings after recently learning there won’t be a little Martha entering the world after all (“It’s weird, I thought I had everything I wanted”). The two are then interrupted by Alternate TheCleverGuy, who sleazily asks Alternate Molly if she’s reconsidered his offer to take to the pole. Martha glasses Alternate TheCleverGuy with his drink, yelling “You can do better” to Alternate Molly as he runs out.
Back in Universe A, Edgar Allan Hoe and Lovely Bones climb out from the smoldering wreckage of the helicopter, visibly injured and in need of a new escape vehicle. Lovely Bones panics, and remarks how mad InnDEEEEEEED is going to be when he learns she totalled his helicopter. InnDEEEEEEED’s unseen voice replies “I don’t care about the chopper, just get in!” and we pan over to see Inndy behind the wheel of a rental car. Lovely Bones and Edgar Allan Hoe enter the car, the sound of sirens quietly beckoning in the distance. The couple ask what the hell he’s doing there, and InnDEEEEEEED responds that he rented a car to get home, but decided to remain in the vicinity in case the breakout went south – pointing out that very few first-time pilots are skilled enough to evade an assault from a group of armed guards. EAH clarifies LB actually crashed by getting too cocky after successfully doing just that, and InnDEEEEEEED remarks “… Okay, well now I’m a little mad about the chopper.”
Back in Universe B, Alternate Dikachu, MLA and Jane have finally reached the old palace, but realise that the safe has a fingerprint lock (as we learned in Quantum Crossing, Alternate Dikachu’s fingerprints were burnt off by Alternate BGD). Alternate Dikachu sighs and asks if MLA would like him to write down what he remembers in a series of lengthy summaries, and she responds that no one would want to read that (Zing!). Giving up on their retrieval of the Operation Phoenix documents, the three head back out where they are met by Martha, Pam and Pucky. Asking if everyone’s ready, they part ways with Alternate Dikachu, jumping through the time travel wormhole. As they land back in Alternate Avocado City at an earlier time, Martha asks if they’re in the right time. The mods spy their alternate selves and realise they’re too early (the portal connecting Universes A and B was not opened until after the alternate mods’ deaths), ducking in the alternate palace bushes to hide from them. MLA overhears Alternate Dikachu yell “Eureka!” and then spies him through the palace window. She sees him sealing a plan into an envelope labelled “Operation Phoenix,” then exit the room. MLA jumps in, grabs the envelope, and switches it out with a sealed blank envelope, writing “Operation Phoenix” on it. She then jumps out the window, says “Alright, let’s go!” to the other mods, and and they all jump into another time portal. Alternate Dikachu returns to the room, examines the envelope, and expresses satisfaction at how much better his handwriting looks than usual before locking it away in the fingerprinted safe.
Meanwhile in Universe A, InnDEEEEEEED, Lovely Bones and Edgar Allan Hoe are in the rental car, heading back to Avocado City. They drive past the venue where Dino Optometrist and Jaye Tyler were performing in the previous episode, and see Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred outside, trying to make arrangements to get to Avocado City themselves. InnDEEEEEEED stops the car and offers the pair a lift, which Joey and DoU accept. Some brief pleasantries are exchanged in the reunion, after which, Lovely Bones and Edgar Allan Hoe contemplate what their next move is going to be when they get back. Neither has a plan, but they know they’re not leaving each other again. EAH rests her head on LB’s shoulder, before quipping “Hey, now you’ve got some badass prison scars, too.”
Back in Universe B, MLA, Martha, Pucky, Pam and Jane have finally made it to the time – and location – of the portal, happy that they’re now halfway there (the implication being that they had to cross through many, many other random points in time to end up here, and will have to do so again before they’re “home”). After some brief dialogue acknowledging how ridiculous and convoluted this all is, MLA asks her fellow mods if they’re up for what awaits them on the other side, knowing the sure-fire hell they’ll be returning to as they embark on this final ride together. They brace themselves for the battle ahead, and let out one highly enthused group chant before jumping through the portal: “For Avocado City!”
NOTE: This episode’s ending is a callback to the closing moments of Chaos Theory (itself a pivotal episode in the Universe B story arc). The scene in question marked the mods’ very first crossing through the portal, and the last time this particular group of characters embarked on a potentially deadly adventure into the unknown together. While Chaos Theory’s group chant rang of reluctance and exhaustion, this episode’s group chant would’ve conveyed passion and determination. As a final capper to this closing moment, the show’s last “To Be Continued” card would’ve been inverted (black text over a white background).
Episode 13: “Rapture”
We open on a black screen and InnDEEEEEEED’s voice saying “My friends, we’re almost home.” We then fade in to the image of him in the getaway car with Lovely Bones, Edgar Allan Hoe, Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred, driving past a “Welcome to Illinois” sign. In the distance, dark clouds can be seen gathering around Avocado City. Lovely Bones remarks that the weather looks bad, and she hopes they won’t be inconveniencing anyone in Avocado City too much.
We then cut to the streets of Avocado City, buildings ablaze and dead bodies strewn around the ground as an army of demons destroys the city at the command of the Antichrist/Alternate Bearded Garret Dillahunt hybrid entity (henceforth known as Anti-BGD). Terrified Avocadians are running around screaming, doing everything they can to hide and/or shield themselves, but it’s a losing battle.
In another part of the city, Molly looks through the wreckage of The Bluelight District to see if she can salvage anything. She finds a note that’s been left for her premises, reading “Molly, terribly sorry to hear about your bar. If you need a new job, there’s room at The Megara Bar-a for you. – MJM” Molly is touched by the gesture and looks over to The Megara Bar-a, which is immediately destroyed by demons.
Over on the steps of the reinforced City Hall, Professor T returns from his laboratory with a strange looking device, which he uses to close the wormhole (as he said he’d do in Chrysalis). Thrilled by the fact that his technology saved the day, he then wonders where the hell the mods went. Suddenly, a time portal opens up, and MLA, Jane, Pucky, Pam and Martha fall out, having successfully made it back to the correct time (the implication being that a whole bunch of failed attempts have transpired since we last saw them, sending them on a long, meandering journey through arbitrary points in time). The mods hand the time travel remote back to Professor T. Immediately observing the increasing intensity of their apocalyptic surroundings, they all run inside City Hall to seek sanctuary, alongside the few dozen Avocadians Pam and Pucky managed to intercept in Chrysalis. The one exception is Martha, who sees Molly isn’t in the crowd and heads off to find her.
As the other mods realise the Leader Beans aren’t present either and begin expressing their concern, the camera takes us down beyond the floor of City Hall and underground into the sewers, speeding through a few pipes to another section of the city, landing on the image of Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo, facing up against the still on-the-fritz Doyle (while also trying to hide from Colonel Kinja and his troops, as we last left them in Chrysalis). Still shooting sparks, Doyle is now shaking violently and yelling out demand after demand for different pictures in an audibly deteriorating voice. Unfortunately, Doyle is blocking the path for Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo, and while they realise they need to get away from it immediately, the AV Club Military are now catching up behind them. Doyle’s weapons then begin to go off erratically, with a missile making a large chasm in the wall for Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo to hide in. The AV Club Military arrive, and Colonel Kinja remarks that, while their targets got away, they can at least get a handle on Doyle now. This is then followed by some jets on Doyle’s base activating, sending Doyle up out of the sewers, straight through the road and to the hellish surface of Avocado City (while still firing weapons off unpredictably). As Colonel Kinja and his troops pursue Doyle, the camera pans over to reveal that Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo’s hiding place has now caved in.
Meanwhile on the surface, JimmyJames and HappiestMan@Springfield are being pursued on foot by TheCleverGuy and LumberGini (collectively making up the only 4 survivors remaining in the mafia blood feud) through Avocado City’s back alleys. They eventually reach a dead end, each party pointing their guns directly at the other (with the two brothers in the middle, both holding a gun to the other’s head). JimmyJames begins taunting TheCleverGuy, saying he’s too chicken to pull the trigger, and TheCleverGuy mocks JimmyJames in response, retorting his bark has always been worse than his bite, and calling him toothless. This goes on as such for a little while (mirroring much of the BGD/Alternate BGD bickering throughout this season), until eventually, the brothers decide to make it interesting. They dismiss HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini (both expressing genuine relief at this), and decide to settle things once and for all with a good ol’ fashioned duel. JimmyJames and TheCleverGuy begin taking their paces.
Nearby, Martha has found Molly near the rubble of The Bluelight District, hiding under the club’s sign. They spot each other and Martha starts running over to Molly, but has to quickly duck out of the way when Doyle blows past them, clearly on the verge of breaking down completely. The two narrowly avoid danger and reunite with a hug, which Molly then turns into a kiss.
Back in the alley, JimmyJames and TheCleverGuy are taking the last of their paces, when HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini see Doyle coming straight for them. They call out to their former partners-in-vengeance, who are too blinded by retribution to take notice. This results in Doyle collapsing on top of JimmyJames and TheCleverGuy. HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini express hope that their friends have survived, and Doyle then explodes into smaller parts, with JimmyJames and TheCleverGuy’s splattered corpses visible under the debris (we briefly cut to the getaway car, where the explosion is heard reverberating beyond the city limits, and InnDEEEEEEED remarks “… That can’t be good”). HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini quickly hide in a dumpster as Colonel Kinja and his troops approach. They arrive to find Doyle in a state of disrepair, and, insisting this to be the doing of Avocado City – rather than shitty Kinja tech – Colonel Kinja commands his troops to kill every last Avocadian in sight.
Back at City Hall, some more Avocadians are now filing into the building, having seen the flyers Pucky and Pam posted. Among the citizens present in the room is TheRadioCat, who asks MLA if she’s heard from his co-worker, Mindymoo. MLA admits that she doesn’t know where any of the Leader Beans are, which is overheard by Lutair and Uncanny Valet (The Handsome Hound is not present as he’d already left for Washington County in advance to prepare for his wedding). Realising that their friend’s groom-to-be could be in danger, Lutair and Uncanny Valet set out on a mission to find Drunk Napoleon. BannerThief insists on joining the two, with Uncanny Valet telling him that if they make it through Armageddon alive, they’ll make him an official member of Friendship Club – and this won’t be like the movie night when they made that exact same promise.
In the air over Avocado City, Anti-BGD flies across the skyline, decimating it one building at a time as he laughs maniacally. On the ground, more bodies are visible, though those alive and breathing are now communicating to each other to head to City Hall; some citizens are heading further out to spread the word, while others are actively carrying the wounded there. As demons fly through the city swooping people at Anti-BGD’s command, we pan across to reveal the AV Club Military emerging from the back alleys, firing their guns haphazardly. As they gun down a couple of Avocadians, a ricocheting bullet clips Anti-BGD. This doesn’t injure him at all, but it immediately provokes him to target the AV Club Military. and he commands his demons to take out the soldiers. A bloody shootout begins to unfold between the military troops and the demons, which Uncanny Valet, Lutair and BannerThief find themselves in the middle of. Seeking cover, they notice the large hole in the ground (left by Doyle’s exit from the sewers earlier) and climb inside. On the surface, the military have racked up an enormous amount of casualties, and are quickly coming to find their bullets do no damage to the demons (who can shoot fire from their hands). Colonel Kinja instructs his few surviving troops, “Back to the tank!”
Over at a fully-packed City Hall, MLA and the mods are watching this battle from afar, and they’ve made the same observation as Colonel Kinja: Bullets aren’t enough to stop the demons. Scanning the surroundings for heavier artillery, they see Colonel Kinja’s unmanned tank. Professor T remembers the Kinja-brand nanobots he discovered inside Jane’s system during the operation in Deliverance, and heads outside with Jane to see if they can transform her back into Jank.
Back in the sewers, Uncanny Valet, Lutair and BannerThief are trying to ascertain whether it’s safe to emerge on the surface again, when they hear a couple of voices coughing from a nearby pile of rubble nearby. It’s Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo (with Drunk Napoleon’s accent being the giveaway). Friendship Club examine the pair’s caved-in hiding spot, and ascertain that they can be freed by removing some pieces of the rubble – but whoever does so will need to take immense care, as one wrong move could cause the whole thing to collapse. BannerThief deems himself the most suitable candidate, arguing that he has the most experience in carefully dislodging things from tight spots. Uncanny Valet and Lutair immediately agree that he’s the perfect person for the job, and BannerThief sets to work removing rubble.
Over on the outskirts of Avocado City, InnDEEEEEEED arrives in the getaway car with Lovely Bones, Edgar Allan Hoe, Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred. They are all in shock as they drive past the burning buildings, debris, and corpses of both Avocadians and AV Club Military troops – particularly DoU, who is having flashbacks to The Guac outbreak. Realising they need shelter, the group spots the large pile of discarded mattresses out the front of the closed-down Avocado City Hotel (shown during InnDEEEEEEED’s helicopter tour in the season premiere), and determine it to be the safest place in sight. As the group seeks refuge in the mattress pile, they find another couple of Avocadians hiding in there: Martha and Molly. The pair awkwardly try to pretend that they only in the mattress pile together for shelter.
Elsewhere in the city, Colonel Kinja continues to fall back while his remaining troops are killed by the demons. As he wonders how he’s going to get to his tank in one piece, much less stop the demons, a large tank-like entity emerges from around the corner: Jane has successfully transformed back into Jank, and is now gunning for the demons. Jank launches her cannons and proceeds to take out the demon army (in an action sequence scored to the season 1 intro music). Anti-BGD quickly takes notice and shoots some moderately-sized fireballs at Jank, which she dodges. As the last of his demons is taken out by Jank, an enraged Anti-BGD begins channeling his energy into the charging of a much larger fireball.
Down in the sewers, BannerThief has just about removed all the rubble necessary to free Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo. Uncanny Valet and Lutair cheer at Banner’s success, helping the pair out to safety as Banner maintains the structural integrity of the rubble. It’s at this point when, on the surface, Anti-BGD unleashes his extra-powerful fireball onto Jank, the collision sending a shockwave through the city. This causes the rubble to collapse and cave in on BannerThief, killing him.
Up on the surface, the force of the fireball’s impact has split Jank back into two separate entities: Jane, and a completely incapacitated tank. Colonel Kinja arrives on the scene and blames Jane for the damage to Kinja property, pointing a gun to her. MLA sees this happen from City Hall and runs out, leaving the safety of the building to help her friend. Pam and Pucky follow her outside, and the group wrestle the gun out of Colonel Kinja’s hands. MLA kicks Colonel Kinja in the balls and he breaks down into tears. A small fireball is hurled into the middle of the group by Anti-BGD, and Colonel Kinja uses the distraction to escape. MLA asks Anti-BGD what he wants from them, and Professor T nervously tries to hide the time travel remote, having forgotten it was still in his possession. But instead, Anti-BGD says that he’ll cease his rampage if full control of Avocado City is given to him, and Pam agrees to be his queen. As he flies down to the group and picks up Pam, Pucky grabs onto Anti-BGD and tries to wrestle Pam out of his grip. Pam rejects Anti-BGD’s offer, causing him to hurls her – and Pucky – across the city. The pair land in the mattress pile, where they reunite with Martha, Molly, and the crew from the getaway vehicle.
Back in the sewers, Uncanny Valet, Lutair, Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo are all regaining their composure following BannerThief’s death. They quickly realise that the rubble wasn’t only thing that caved in, and the vertical path Uncanny Valet and Lutair originally climbed down has now been corrupted. Looking for a way out of the sewers, Drunk Napoleon spies a plank positioned on a rock, much like a see-saw. He uses his catapult skills on the makeshift contraption, getting everyone – and himself – to safety.
They emerge near Professor T, MLA and Jane, who happy to see them alive, but the reunion is cut short when Anti-BGD confronts the group. Now that Pam has rejected his offer, Anti-BGD demands the time travel remote. Professor T lies, saying it’s in his lab and offering to retrieve it. Anti-BGD doesn’t trust him to do so, believing he’ll just go into his lab and whip up some kind of super-weapon (he’s aware of Professor T’s inventions due to the intel Jane provided). So Anti-BGD requests MLA do it instead, being personally escorted by a highly suspicious Anti-BGD. Under the the guise of telling MLA the remote’s whereabouts, Professor T advises her to stall Anti-BGD and hit the panic switch upon entering his lab. MLA and Anti-BGD head off, leaving Professor T to reconvene with Jane, Uncanny Valet, Lutair, Drunk Napoleon and Mindymoo. He notes that the Kinja-brand tank was successfully able take out the demons, and asks if there’s any other Kinja tech around. Mindymoo quickly recounts Doyle having blasted through the sewers, with Uncanny Valet and Lutair confirming that they passed the decimated robotic monstrosity on their way there. The group heads off in that direction and quickly finds the defunct Doyle in pieces. As Professor T instructs everyone to search for Doyle’s weaponry amidst all the other parts, HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini both emerge from their hiding spot in the nearby dumpster. They proceed to help the group collect Doyle’s weaponry and attach it to Jane.
Elsewhere, a separate plan is being concocted by everyone over at the mattress pile, having observed that the mayhem has died down. Remembering what she learned about the Antichrist and the Alpha/Omega Stones, Pam theorises that they should be able to vanquish Anti-BGD’s demonic powers by disconnecting the two gemstones. The group heads over to what’s left of the warehouse, where the gems are connected. Pam and Pucky try to pull the two gemstones apart, but both are struck by a searing pain coursing through their bodies. It becomes clear that separating the gemstones is an act that nobody can survive.
Meanwhile, MLA and Anti-BGD have arrived at PT Laboratories, with Anti-BGD . He then tries to follow her into the lab, but MLA shoves him out the door and hastily pushes the panic switch, activating the lab’s defense mechanisms (previously set off by Jane in Desperate Measures). A furious Anti-BGD tries taking out the lab to no avail.
Over in the alley, Jane has been fully upgraded into a third entity: A Jane/Doyle hybrid named “Joyle.” While she sets off for her final showdown with Anti-BGD, we cross back to Pam, Pucky, Martha, Molly, InnDEEEEEEED, Lovely Bones, Edgar Allan Hoe, Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred outside the warehouse, wondering what they’re going to do. DaughterOfUhtred steps forward and says she’ll disconnect the gemstones, instantly at peace with the notion of finding atonement by sacrificing herself to save Avocado City. Joey Blowey says “No,” and when it looks like he’s about to stop her, he instead says that it’s a two person job, and it’s time he had her back after all the times she stood by him. Joey Blowey and DaughterOhUhtred each take control of a gemstone. The others attempt to talk them out of it, but their pleas quickly turn to teary goodbyes as everyone comes to realise the stakes are too high, and they’re all out of time and options. Joey asks one thing of the Avocadians in return: That someone will run Blowey Farms in his and DoU’s absence. Pam and Pucky both volunteer to do so at the same time, much to Joey’s delight. He and DoU each grab a hold of a gemstone and proceed to pull with a great struggle.
Back at PT Labs, Joyle approaches Anti-BGD and screams “Take this, you motherfuckin’ cuntpickle!” While she raises her weapons and points them at Anti-BGD, Joey Blowey and DaughterOhUhtred successfully manage to pull Alpha and Omega Stones apart, and their lifeless bodies drop to the ground. At the same time, Anti-BGD transforms back into the two smaller entities of Alternate BGD and the Antichrist, moments before being hit by the barrage of bullets/rockets/etc. from Joyle. Following the impact of the blast, Alternate BGD’s body is left smouldering in the dirt, while the Antichrist is flung through the air, falling through the giant hole into the sewers, landing in the waste water (which became infused with holy water in Chrysalis). The Antichrist screams in agony and melts into nothing.
As Armageddon dissipates, the sky returns to normal and the remaining fires in the city burn out. MLA emerges from PT Laboratories to join her friends in celebration. As the citizens of Avocado City proceed to hug, cheer and dance, HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini remark to each other how good it feels to help people. HappiestMan@Springfield realises that, as the last surviving Avocado City Mafia member, he is now in charge of the organisation. He asks LumberGini if he’d like to be his new right-hand man. LumberGini accepts the offer, but on the condition they make the Avocado City Mafia an organisation they can both be proud of. HappiestMan@Springfield is all too happy to hear this.
Meanwhile, outside the abandoned warehouse, the mood is considerably more somber, as everyone is still in mourning after Joey Blowey and DoU’s sacrifice. Some kind words are said about the fallen heroes, and Pucky and Pam briefly talk to each other about the agreement they made to run Blowey Farms. They both agree that they’ve had enough of Avocado City’s constant hustle-and-bustle, and look forward to settling into a quiet rural life together. Kat then emerges from behind the warehouse, having regained consciousness. She is utterly devastated by the outcome of her pregnancy, though also acknowledges having some mixed feelings given the extraordinary circumstances. Pam and Pucky proceed to console her, and Kat goes on to say that she the most terrifying thing about Alien Jesus’s premonition was the idea of malevolence being passed down through her. She acknowledges that she’s still holding onto some deep-seated mental baggage from her upbringing at the hands of evil pirates, and while adoption is always an option for the future, it would be best to work on herself first.
Suddenly, someone else emerges from the warehouse: Bearded Garret Dillahunt, having narrowly survived the cave-in. He makes one final plea for Pam’s heart, insisting that he was blinded by his quest for vengeance, and claiming he’ll leave Avocado City alone forever if Pam comes with him, promising he’ll never betray her. Overhearing all of this, a furious Kat interrupts Pam before she can respond, yelling “No. Means. NO!” and hurling the first piece of debris at Dillahunt that she can find: The sign from The Bluelight District (the same one Molly was hiding under earlier, depicting Bluelightspecial; himself another victim of BGD’s manipulation, having been conned into serving as his right-hand man for a season 1 arc spanning A Plot upon a Plot to Going Ballistic). Thrown with great force, the sharp sign lodges straight into BGD’s brain, and he collapses on the ground, well and truly dead. Kat reiterates her need for her therapy.
Elsewhere, Mello Yello Enthusiast emerges from the hospital, back to his normal self. He rejoins Mindymoo and Drunk Napoleon just as InnDEEEEEEED walks over to them, reuniting the Leader Beans at last. It turns out that Mello Yello Enthusiast’s warped mental state was neither the result of demonic possession nor him losing his mind; it was simply due to him breathing in the factory fumes for too long. He reasons he should be fine if he rebuilds a more well-ventilated factory, but admits that he’d made the snow workers before falling into this state, and concedes that he’s been very lonely since moving to Alaska. As such, he has decided to build the new Mello Yello factory in Avocado City. The Leader Beans all celebrate this news. Mello goes on to tell them that they can have free Mello Yello whenever they like, which receives a far less enthused response.
Following this, Uncanny Valet and Lutair rush Drunk Napoleon off to prepare for his wedding. TheRadioCat then approaches Mindymoo and tells her that he has some news: The business trip he took was an appointment with famous documentary filmmaker Kelly Clarkson. She’s putting together a new streaming service focusing solely on journalistic content, and wants him to host a daily news show (having come to enjoy his local radio news broadcasts while staying in Avocado City for the making of A Leader Bean Documentary). TheRadioCat quips that it’s guaranteed employment for a few months until the service inevitably goes bust in the content wars, before saying “I’d normally give you four weeks’ notice, buuuttt…” as the camera zooms out to reveal the decimated radio studio behind the two. Mindymoo is disappointed by the unfortunate turn of events, but agrees that he has to take the job, and wishes him good luck. InnDEEEEEEED realises he’s also unemployed now, seeing as he no longer has a helicopter.
Nearby, Professor T has an announcement to make: The events of the past month have reinvigorated his passion for science once again, and he will be reopening P.T. Laboratories to resume work as an inventor; his first mission being turning Joyle back into Jane. But this isn’t the only realisation he’s come to, as Professor T goes on to acknowledge that Avocado City would be better off without the time travel remote altogether. It’s at this point when the feds are seen approaching the city parameter, looking for Edgar Allan Hoe and Lovely Bones. As the two realise they have nowhere to hide, Professor T hands them the time travel remote and says “Use it.” Lovely Bones asks, “Won’t that cause all sorts of repercussions to the space-time continuum?” and Professor T responds, “Only if you go back in time. Keep using it until you find a comfortable future – some place where history has long forgotten about you, and you can carve out a new life for yourselves.” LB and EAH say their goodbyes, promising to keep the remote safe, then leave via a time portal before the feds arrive.
As the feds see no sign of the pair in the leveled-out remains of Avocado City, they take to the sea. We see the their patrol boats leave the shore just as a familiar vessel docks: It’s the cruise ship, being captained by Lady L and Lady B (the married explorers introduced in Exodus, whose plane was traded with the BGDs for the broken-down cruise ship). They reveal that, while the ship’s engines had been put out of commission by Pam, they weren’t beyond repair. After some quick maintenance, the couple were soon back on their expedition, which took them to Pirate’s Bay (the island where the moderators had been held prisoner by the space pirates, introduced in The Rate of Exchange). It was here where the explorers made a treasured discovery: The archived tapes of Apply Tropically, the podcast Martha created and hosted during the mods’ imprisonment there (while his radio was never broadcasting, it was recording each episode to tape, and they were left behind on the island after the space pirates left it). Lady L and Lady B are so impressed by what they’ve heard that they have come to offer Martha a podcasting contract with them, which will require him to relocate from Avocado City (as they remark, “You can’t do the show here, this city doesn’t even have an internet signal!”). Lady L and Lady B tell Martha he can bring on the producer of his choice, and Martha asks if he can confer with his business partner, taking Molly aside. Molly is happy for him but turns the position down, saying that part of her hesitation in pursuing Martha was the fact that they worked together, admitting it was all a little too close to her relationship with Bluelightspecial. Molly says that she’d prefer to keep some distance between her professional life and romantic life. Martha is understanding, and mostly just stoked to hear that she wants to date him. Molly then says “Besides, you’ve got a perfectly good radio producer in need of a job right here,” and gestures to Mindymoo. Mindymoo jumps at the new job opportunity, elated by the fact that she won’t have to apply for a job at the bowling alley now after all. Nearby, InnDEEEEEEED is approached by MrsLangdonAlger, who tells him she’ll have a very important job for him very soon, gesturing to the Operation Phoenix folder. Inndy confirms the job doesn’t involve moderating, and MLA assures him he’s going to love it. We fade to black.
Shortly after, in Washington County, Drunk Napoleon and The Handsome Hound are concluding their vows, sharing their first kiss as husbands. We fade to the reception, where Friendship Club are gathered on the dance floor. They all pour one out for BannerThief, vowing that they’ll never make the mistake of putting off a member’s induction again. They then gather around Drunk Napoleon, telling him that, after everything they’ve been through, they are all bonded for life now. He is inducted as the official fourth member of Friendship Club. Drunk Napoleon remarks that his Friendship Club ring is the second-nicest one he’s gotten that day as he shares a slow dance with The Handsome Hound, and we fade to black.
We then fade in on a mostly-restored Avocado City some weeks later, as MLA addresses all the citizens of Avocado City from the front of City Hall (which has now been renamed in commemoration of Joey Blowey and DaughterOfUhtred). Jane looks on from the front of the crowd, back to her normal self once and for all. MLA thanks everyone for their perseverance and heroism during the city’s most harrowing ordeal to date, and comes with the comforting news that it will also be the city’s last. Professor T turns on a large projector unveiling a presentation on Operation Phoenix, the first slide depicting an airborne Avocado City held up by balloons and propellers. MLA goes on to tell the crowd about Dikachu’s vision to take to the sky in the event that Avocado City’s existing location ever became too unsafe. Having learned that Avocado City occupies literal cursed ground, leaving said ground is the most logical solution to end the city’s constant catastrophic onslaughts of death and turmoil. Professor T confirms that he’s checked the science and it’s possible. “But,” as MLA explains, “we’re going to need everyone.”
In the show’s closing montage (set to Mimicking Birds’ “Bloodlines“), we see each and every surviving Avocadian banding together to make Avocado City airborne, equipping balloons and propellers to various landmarks/structures from key points in the series. Intercut with said footage are the following shots:
Pam and Pucky are preparing their first harvest over at Blowey Farms.
Kat is undergoing a therapy session with TheAggroCraig (established in Quantum Crossing as the city’s top one-on-one psychologist).
Exealien places flowers on Alien Jesus’s grave (with the tombstones of all this season’s other victims also visible in shot).
Friendship Club are embarking on their first adventure with Drunk Napoleon: The four of them attempting to run BannerThief’s sex dungeon together.
HappiestMan@Springfield and LumberGini have turned the Avocado City Mafia into a nonprofit organisation that helps unemployed people find legitimate work, with Dame K and Psmith walking through the door as their first clients.
Martha is on a video chat with Molly, now the co-owner of a new bar alongside Megara Justice Machine (named “Molly & Megara’s Bluelight Bar-a”). After exchanging flirtatious pleasantries, Martha closes the chat and begins recording an episode of Apply Tropically 2.0 in an exotic location somewhere. The camera zooms out to show Mindymoo helming the mixer, while Lady L and Lady B look on.
TheRadioCat (hosting his news show) reports that Colonel Kinja has been court-martialed and sentenced to life in prison for war crimes, while The AV Club is stripped for parts to cover the cost of his corruption charges.
As the final touches on Operation Phoenix are put in place, we see Avocado City triumphantly take off into the sky (leaving behind it the crater we’d seen in Quantum Crossing). We zoom in to reveal InnDEEEEEEED sitting in the pilot seat, flying the city. The series closes on this visual:
We fade to black, and linger on the blank screen as Jane’s voice asks “So, who are you gonna hire as your next mod?”
MLA’s voice responds “You know what, Jane? I don’t think we need any… We’re finally safe.”
The complete season credits roll (as per the season 1 and season 2 finales), set to Deftones’ “Xerces.”
In the crater, after Avocado City has taken off, a heavily bruised and battered Alternate Bearded Garret Dillahunt emerges, clinging to life. He swears his vengeance on Avocado City yet again, when suddenly, he is crushed to death by a falling dinosaur (the same one that was sent by Spot.IM to attack the city in the first episode, A City in Peril – which was later revealed in Quantum Crossing to have been retrieved via time travel). The camera zooms out to reveal a Spot.IM time portal above, which Dr. Lasagna and Nurse Cannelloni then also fall out of. As the two villains open up another time portal and proceed to head through it with the dinosaur, they share the following exchange (recorded in advance by Martha and Lovely Bones during their season 2).
NOTES: * Joey Blowey’s ultimate fate had been foreshadowed in season 2’s High Tide; during his drug-fueled encounter with the Anti-Joey, various opaque pieces of demonic/apocalyptic imagery were inserted into the background; namely whenever Anti-Joey spoke in ominous terms about the future and the importance of Joey’s role in it.
* The final visual before the credits is a callback to the opening scene of Abandon Ship, when Dikachu says to Mike Vago, “Maybe Avocado City will be soaring alongside the mothership someday.”
NOTES FOR THE SEASON
* Please bear in mind that, no matter how much advanced plotting went into Avocado City, things would always evolve and change during the writing/animating phases. In the finished product, there likely would’ve been a few more sub-plots at play, weaving some new characters into the narrative in the process (and likely playing some small role in the final showdown). MisterSplendiferous had requested to be a part of season 3 early enough to make it into this outline, though you could’ve guaranteed at least a couple of other recurring characters would’ve been added to the roster. Just as season 3 would’ve delivered some new running gags, some new locations would’ve also been established as we visited previously-unseen parts of the city, and there’d have undoubtedly been some more new businesses playing on member names/avatars. I’m sure many existing minor characters not mentioned in the outline would’ve likely still popped up throughout the season in small capacity, too.
* While the first season was written entirely by myself, season 2 opened up the scripting process to the community, with several episodes being written/co-written by other members of The Avocado. This would have continued with season 3. There were also tentative plans to possibly bring some contributors in to the plotting process, giving writers the opportunity to pitch/craft some additional sub-plots where possible, to hopefully allow for a bit more creative leeway beyond the “scripting from outlines” approach previously taken; obviously, for the sake of finally completing this outline, I had to make some creative calls where ideas were previously tentative (the events of the season’s second act, in particular, were quite hazy when this was first outlined in 2018). Perhaps the most notable scrapped idea was to do a completely stand-alone episode in the middle of the season, anchored around characters the show hadn’t followed before.
* The third season would’ve featured a new intro, along with a new version of the Avocado City theme song. The season 2 theme was composed and performed by Dino Optometrist; for season 3, I was planning on asking Howland Pariah to write the theme music (he had previously composed an original score for the season 2 episode A Leader Bean Documentary), and getting a few different members to harmonize the vocals together (a Jaye Tyler/Mindymoo/Molly team-up for this would’ve been amazing, given the fantastic vocal work they’d already done for various musical numbers on the show; though a surprise cameo from Jane had also been considered). As with the other seasons, each episode’s score would’ve been sampled from a different soundtrack, with little-to-no repetition of pieces once they’re used. In contrast to this rule, the final episode’s soundtrack would have exclusively sampled its music from previous episodes.
* The goal was to try and keep most episodes under (or near) the 10 minute mark for this run; at least in acts 1 and 2. I essentially wanted season 3 to be stylistic blend of the first two. I’m not sure how feasible a goal this would’ve been though (I can’t imagine there’s any way Rapture would’ve clocked in under the 20 minute mark).
* I had never fully settled on whether the series would close with “The End” or “To Be Continued… In Season 1, Episode 1” – both play equally well with the post-credits scene. Pretend I went with whichever one you prefer!
* There were very early plans in the works for a downloadable Avocado City computer game, set after the end of the series. The game would’ve been a sidescrolling platformer, putting you in control of a different Avocadian each level, armed with various peculiar weapons made by Professor T. This would all be intercut with cutscenes that, when put together, would form something of an inessential epilogue episode. The premise: Colonel Kinja has broken out of army jail and is now seeking revenge on Avocado City, attacking the airborne vessel from a warship. This results in the destruction of the power source that keeps Avocado City airborne, causing it to shatter into pieces that scatter in various areas as the city comes crashing into a ditch. MLA puts together an emergency council consisting of people who’d helped out the city in the past; the idea is that the characters would all be split into small groups as they all search for a different piece of the power source together. Following an opening level where you navigate MLA through a falling Avocado City, each “act” in the game would take you to a different location, consisting of 2-3 levels and a boss fight in which the gameplay gets switched up (ie. for the Friendship Club act, you might have an Uncanny Valet level followed by a Lutair level followed by a Handsome Hound level, culminating in some sort of catapult-related boss fight where you play as Drunk Napoleon). The fact that the characters visit different locations outside of Avocado City would ultimately lead to some cameos from those who left in the finale (ie. one group of characters would have some rural levels in Alabama, passing through Blowey Farms at one point for a Pam/Pucky check-in cutscene; likewise, another group of characters would be exploring a tropical location and would run into Martha and Mindymoo recording a podcast). There would also be some flashback cutscenes unfolding throughout the game, explaining how Colonel Kinja encountered the closed-down Spot.IM Laboratory and came upon their research on Avocado City, reactivating their factory line of spambots in the process (which would serve as the primary enemies in the levels). Professor T would’ve also played a role as the tutorial guide. The last level in the game would’ve had you playing as MLA again, taking on Colonel Kinja in the final boss fight. This ultimately results in Avocado City’s victory, and one last cutscene where the power source is restored and Avocado City resumes its flight, never to be bothered again. MLA ultimately dismisses the council and go back to living happily ever after (essentially leaving everyone right back at the same point they were at the end of S3 – hence my describing it as an “inessential” epilogue). I doubt any of this ever would’ve come to fruition, though the decision to keep Colonel Kinja alive at the end of the series was admittedly a conscious way of leaving the door open ajar for future Avocado City stories – juuust in case.
* And lastly, since I don’t think anyone one ever noticed that I was doing a long game with a reference to my favourite tv show: Avocado City’s total episode count was intended to double as a sly reference to the original Fox run of Arrested Development (a 22 episode first season, an 18 episode second season, and a 13 episode third season).
Thank you for reading! If you ever feel like going back and watching any of Avocado City’s 40 episodes, you can find them via the following links:
Avocado City: The Complete First Season
Avocado City: The Complete Second Season
(You can also find the series under the “MORE” tab in the Repeats menu; alternatively, you can also bring it up by typing in “Avocado City” via the search bar in the top-right corner of the site).