January TV Preview – FOX, NBC, and CBS (Time To Be Ever So Snarky About Network Television, ‘Cados)

I didn’t put Flirty Dancing on here because it premiered in December but you should know that there’s a tv show where people learn one half of a choreographed dance and meet their blind date as they’re doing the other half of the dance. If I have to know this, so do you.



The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department is one of the largest police forces in the world, but when the elected Sheriff dies, an arcane rule in the county charter, forged back in the Wild West, suddenly thrusts the most unlikely man into the job. That man is Bill Hollister. A fifth-generation lawman, Bill is only interested in justice; his soul wears a white hat. The bad guys don’t stand a chance, but neither do the politicos in the Hall of Justice. Given a job he never wanted, in an unfamiliar sea of politics, Bill quickly learns that doing what is expected and doing what is right are two different things, and that his innate, dogged pursuit of justice is the only skill the job truly requires.

Starring: Stephen Dorff, Yara Martinez, Brian Van Holt, Siena Goines, Bex Taylor-Klaus, Shane Paul McGhie, Danielle Moné Truitt, Mark Moses

Quick Impressions: I’m sure a David Ayer created, modern day Western about the Sheriff of Los Angeles will be a thoughtful and nuanced look at police work.


Premieres January 2nd

9-1-1: Lone Star

Nearly 20 years ago, Owen Strand was the lone survivor of his Manhattan firehouse on 9/11. In the wake of the attack, Owen had the unenviable task of rebuilding his station. After a similar tragedy happens to a firehouse in Austin, Owen, along with his troubled firefighter son, T.K., takes his progressive philosophies of life and firefighting down to Texas, where he helps them start anew. On the surface, Owen is all about big-city style and swagger, but underneath he struggles with a secret he hides from the world – one that could very well end his life.

Starring: Rob Lowe, Liv Tyler, Jim Parrack, Ronen Rubinstein, Sierra McClain, Natacha Karam, Brian Michael Smith, Rafael Silva, Julian Works

Quick Thoughts: I love 9-1-1. It is fucking bonkers. In one of the last episodes before the hiatus, a girl got hit by a meteor and survived because she had a weighted blanket. We don’t need two 9-1-1s.  I’ll watch it but…one is enough.

Premieres January 19th


For most parents, parenting is hard. But for Cay, a caustic, take-no-prisoners casino pit boss, and husband Mike, a handyman and uncultivated guy’s guy, parenting may as well be advanced calculus. Dealing with the demands and egos of three high-IQ children would be tricky for any parent, but it’s especially hazardous for two working stiffs who barely got through high school. Mike and Cay are committed to bringing some normalcy to their kids’ hectic, unconventional childhoods, but these geniuses don’t make it easy.

Starring: Maggie Lawson, Jason Biggs, Tisha Campbell-Martin, Finesse Mitchell, Connor Kalopsis, Ashley Boettcher, Oakley Bull, Jack Stanton

Quick Thoughts: I’m mostly very snarky about this but LA To Vegas, the creator’s last show, is one of my very favorite things. That earns it a couple episodes from me. And Finesse Mitchell is in this! I remember liking him a lot on SNL and being sad that I hadn’t seen him since then…*googles* Did you know his father in law is El DeBarge?

Premieres January 23rd


Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

After an unusual event, Zoey, who always preferred podcasts over pop songs, suddenly starts to hear the innermost wants, thoughts and desires of the people around her – her family, co-workers and complete strangers – through popular songs. At first, she questions her own sanity, but after getting some guidance from her musically adept neighbor, Mo, and making a breakthrough with her ailing father, Zoey soon realizes this unwanted curse may just be an incredibly wonderful gift as she connects with the world like never before.

Starring: Jane Levy, Skylar Astin, Alex Newell, Peter Gallagher, Mary Steenburgen, John Clarence Stewart, Lauren Graham

Quick Impressions: Fuck. That’s a good cast. I can be leery of the premise (which I’m really not because this is basically Eli Stone without the universe’s plan aspect and I fucking loved Eli Stone), but any of that main cast on their own would probably be enough to get me onboard with a show. I want to watch Alex Newell do a music number every week. I’m pretty sure that given what his character is going through, even if I hate the show, I will cry the minute Peter Gallagher starts singing. There’s just no way that’s not going to be a gut punch. It’s also worth noting that this is kind of what happened to Mary Steenburgen’s brain and now she’s a successful songwriter. How weird must filming this show be for her?

Premieres January 7th

Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt For The Bone Collector

Inspired by the best-selling book, the enigmatic and notorious serial killer known only as “The Bone Collector” once terrified New York City… until he seemingly disappeared. Now, three years later, when an elaborate murder points to his return, it brings former NYPD detective and forensic genius Lincoln Rhyme out of retirement and back into the fold. Rhyme has a personal connection to the case – a trap set by the killer left him paralyzed – but this time he’s teaming up with Amelia Sachs, an intuitive young officer who’s got her own gift for profiling. This unlikely detective duo will play a deadly new game of cat and mouse with the brilliant psychopath who brought them together. But how do you catch a killer who always seems to be one step ahead?

Starring: Russell Hornsby, Arielle Kebbel, Michael Imperioli, Brian F. O’Byrne, Tate Ellington, Courtney Grosbeck, Ramses Jimenez, Brooke Lyons, Roslyn Ruff, Jaidon Walls, Claire Coffee

Quick Impressions: I remember the Bone Collector. That’s the thing that made me afraid of taxi cabs for like a year. I guess they’re real confident about this show if they’re rebranding it Lincoln Rhyme so they can add other serial killers to the title after the Bone Collector is caught. Russell Hornsby is always excellent but there is some trepidation about the show casting an able bodied actor as Lincoln Rhyme. I guess it’ll make showing flashbacks easier but still…

Premieres January 10th


FBI: Most Wanted

A high stakes drama that focuses on the Fugitive Task Force, which relentlessly tracks and captures the notorious criminals on the Bureau’s Most Wanted list. Seasoned agent Jess LaCroix (Julian McMahon) oversees the highly skilled team which functions as a mobile undercover unit that’s always out in the field, pursuing those who are most desperate to elude justice.

Starring: Julian McMahon, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Kellan Lutz, Roxy Sternberg, Nathaniel Arcand, Alana de la Garza

Quick Impressions: Hello, Cole from Charmed. I see that you’re hunting people with a Twilight Vampire and The Whale Rider Lady now.  I like how fast Dick Wolf is establishing an FBI extended universe on his new network. Good for him. But mostly this trailer just makes me want to watch individual episodes of Charmed…and Fantastic Four. That is unforgivable, Dick Wolf.

Premieres January 7th