Models are genetically constructed to become assassins.  They’re in peak physical condition.  They can gain entry to the most secure places in the world.

But most important of all, models don’t think for themselves.  They do as they’re told.

Today we celebrate the 18th anniversary of Zoolander, one of the movies that was caught in the weird pop culture void after the 9/11 attacks.  It was probably one of the first movies where the Twin Towers were digitally erased.

The film may also have been plagarized from Glamorama, a novel from Bret Easton Ellis (writer of American Psycho) about assassin fashion models. (Time’s Joel Stein said of the book: “The idea—models so solipsistic that they become terrorists—is a good-enough one for a short story of 15 pages, but it’s unsustainable at 482.” But what about movie length, Joel?)

Zoolander did OK in theaters (only $60 million, but doubled its budget). It also sneakily became something of a cult classic. Roger Ebert gave it one out of four stars. His review opens with, “There have been articles lately asking why the United States is so hated in some parts of the world. As this week’s Exhibit A from Hollywood, I offer ‘Zoolander.’” Reportedly he later apologized to Ben Stiller for his review. I dunno, there might have been something happening in September 2001 that was on his mind.

Are you serious?

…

 

I just….

 

I just told you that a moment ago.