Well, you whippersnappers. I done did it. I finally became an old man.

Today I turned 32.

You know how you feel like it’s a big fucking deal when you turn 16? Well 32 is twice that number. This is why turning 32 is what officially makes you a geezer. And I’m still not old enough to run for president.

But enough of my morbid birthday humor. Today’s my big day, so hopefully all will go well, even though I’m probably not having my cake until tomorrow. Hope you are all well, and here’s to remaining young at heart!

Now to watch for my non-existent children to go to war over my vast fortune before I die.