Let’s Read Lover, June 1971!

Lover has virtually no Internet paper trail, so based on similar magazines like last week’s Petticoat it appears to be a short lived UK magazine targeted at women 18-24 that didn’t survive past the 70s.

I broke my elbow last week, so in the interest of my one functional typing limb this one will be short and sweet. Thanks again to Ben (and Jane!) for this issue.

Those brows, my god.

“But baby, you’re the only thing that’s gotten cheaper with inflation!” is not going to go over well.

I love the careful detailed instructions about how to properly spray something on yourself. Clearly the writers did not have much faith in their readership. Make sure the nozzle is turned the right way! Sheesh. Also, glorious typos.

Do I make you humpy baby? (Been waiting my entire life for the opportunity to say that)

I think this just told me to move in on my friend’s ex. Thanks Lover!

My favorite part is when she gets beat over the head with a handbag.

The note about making sure your fabric is fire-resistant at the end is a very real reminder of why I’m happy it’s not the 70s anymore.

Some top notch facial hair sculpting in that band photo. I’m not sure what the writer means by “microgroove”, but I listened to Days of Future Passed while writing this and found it to be a gem.

No one really uses “Christian name” anymore, so that took a sec to reckon with (it means the name you were given at birth/your legal name). Who do you want to write to? I like tall Janet who is looking for a tall man. I also like Susan of Tooting’s hobby of “being interested in art” but not actually art, because it’s good to keep yourself a safe distance from art at all times.

Given the readership demographics, Tom is going to need an extra mailbox.

Ok, so, Cliff Richard. Cliff Richard, as far as I can tell, is an iconic elder statesman of rock and roll…everywhere except America. He’s had something like a sixty year career that preceded The Beatles and is often credited as an influence on their sound. Cliff Richard has had all of two notable singles in America – “Devil Woman”, which is a stone cold classic, and “We Don’t Talk Anymore”, which I think I’ve broken car radios over before in my haste to change the station.

Cliff was in a low period of his career in 1971, before he bounced back with a 3rd place winning Eurovision song (like you do), but apparently he was still too good for Lover because this is just a fangirly recap of his career.

I thought being acceptable to your parents was the death of cool? Way to throw him under the bus there!

All the appeal of that raging sexpot Andy Williams! AND his best friend is Billy Graham? Devil Woman of 1976 couldn’t come fast enough to make this guy cool enough again, right?

Some very bad advice concerning the consequences of kisses, fast tracks to spinsterhood, and how to deal when your friends drop your boyfriend because he’s become a Pig.

“Stewpot” had a lifelong career as a BBC radio personality and died in 2016. Looking over his wiki page, around this time he was eyeing up the 14 year old daughter of his boss…whom he married at 17. Uhhhhhm. So, how about that Japanese hippie? I was disappointed in the lack of easily findable information on a 1971 rock festival in Japan, because how nuts would that be?

RETURN OF THE PEN PAL PAGE!

Ruth is into bellringing, whatever the heck that is. Sandra wants a skinhead boyfriend – something tells me she didn’t pick up this issue for the Cliff Richard article.

Back cover. I genuinely love this janky typography.

That’s it for this week! Thanks for reading and your patience with the shorter article. Check out my Instagram for extras if you haven’t already. Next time we’re reaching into my personal teenhood with Animerica, January 1999!