The Patience Phillips Day Thread (8/14)

August 14 is the birthday of Patience Phillips… or more precisely Halle Berry.

Patience Phillips is the character Ms. Berry plays in the movie, Catwoman (directed by Pitof). So why is she Patience Phillips and not Selina Kyle? Well, apparently they exist in the same universe. Random women are given cat powers of… I don’t know, drinking milk, sick basketball skills, lacking shame in choice of clothing… and Selina Kyle and Patience Phillips are just the two of them throughout human history. In fact, you can see a picture of Michelle Pfeiffer amidst the photos of others who have borne the name of “Catwoman”. And you thought that whole “Nine Lives” speech at the end of Batman Returns Was just crazy talk!

Selina Kyle, though, was clearly the better seamstress.

For her part, Halle Berry knew the movie was awful. She even showed up at the Razzie award. Holding her Oscar in one hand and the Razzie in the other. “I want to thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece of shit,” she said triumphantly.

But we’ve spent this whole time talking about Halle Berry! Who is Patience Phillips? Well, according to Comicsvine :

“Patience Phillips was a graphic designer for Hedare Cosmetics, until she learned that the company’s newest beauty cream was dangerously addictive and had mutative properties. Laurel Hedare, wife of the CEO of Hedare Cosmetics, had Patience flushed down a storm drain and washed out to sea. When the drowned corpse of Patience washed onshore, an Egyptian cat that Patience rescued from a ledge earlier breathed in her mouth, giving her the gift of the goddess Bastet. Imbued with new cat-like powers, Patience returned home with no memory of her death.”

This makes so much more sense then some boring cat-themed thief.

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