It’s springtime, for gamers, and…er…Germany (I couldn’t come up with a rhyme). Yes folks, spring is just about to end, and the start of summer is only a few days away. Thank goodness then that we’ve got a party game for the whole family, a crime simulator for your edgelord teen brother and your equally alt-right uncle, a couple of Japanese games for that person in your life who hates the sun and rides the bus, and of course you can’t forget those dads who just love historical war simulators. Spend some time indoors before you are forced to be outside for three months, it’ll be good for you.

Team Sonic Racing (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases May 21^st

Not content to let Mario have all the racing fun, Sonic and his pals have gotten together to compete as teams in this fast paced, high octane racer from Sega. Featuring all of your favorite characters, like Sonic, Tails, Dr. Eggman, Hugo the Donkey, Big the Cat and Zavok (only one of those is made up), you will work in teams of three to get the best score over a series of tracks and take home the top prize. Early reviews haven’t been too hot on this one, unfortunately, calling the game the worst in the Sonic racing series, and falling well short of the masterful Mario Kart 8. It’s okay, Sonic fans are used to mediocre bullshit.

American Fugitive (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases May 21^st

Hey, do you like committing crimes? How about games that look like Grand Theft Auto but aren’t Grand Theft Auto? You might like this game then. I have a headache.

Atelier Lulua: The Scion of Arland (PC/PS4/Switch) – Releases May 21^st

This new JRPG follows the fourth main character of the Arland series, Lulua, daughter of Rorona (if that means anything to you). In this continuation of the Atelier Arland games, you will synthesize concoctions using your alchemy skills, explore a world that is both familiar and new, and do battle with fearsome foes. Along the way you’ll meet cute girls that share your passion for adventure, and engross yourself in a 90 hour story that you’ll give up on 1/3 of the way through.

Alternate Jake Hunter – Daedalus: The Awakening of Golden Jazz (PC/PS4/Switch) – Releases May 23^rd

Trying its best to win the “longest title” award at this year’s New Gamies (a fake award I just made up), comes the latest title in the Jake Hunter series. With the last few only coming to the Nintendo DS, this new title will be available on the latest Nintendo console, the Switch, as well as branching out to other systems, like PS4 and PC (sorry Xbone). As with other games in the series, you are trying to solve a mystery, this one being the death of your grandfather, and will scour various areas for clues, unraveling the twisted tale as you learn more. The game is only being released digitally in the US, but the Japanese import will have an English language option if you need a physical copy.

Total War: Three Kingdoms (PC) – Releases May 23^rd

The Total War series has been going strong since 2000, having more than its fair share of notable hits. After taking a detour into the fictional realm with Total War: Warhammer I+II, and a bit of a style change with Thrones of Britannia, the series goes back to its historical war roots with Three Kingdoms, a period of time in China that ran from 220 AD to 280 AD. This period was most notably described in the novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and has been the basis for Tecmo Koei’s Dynasty Warriors franchise (albeit with a lot more magic and dudes with gigantic swords). In the Total War games, you command an army made up of large groups of soldiers. You move these large groups strategically around a map, trying to conquer your foes on the battlefield. They’re a lot of fun and really worth checking out if you’ve never had a chance to play one.

 

Ports and Re-releases:

Resident Evil 0/1/4 (Switch) – Releases May 21^st

These three titles are quickly becoming the Dragon’s Lair of modern gaming, releasing for just about every console ever released (funny enough, Dragon’s Lair just released for the Xbone). I don’t think I need to say much about these titles, we all know what they are and how important they’ve been. From giving the Game Cube some much needed mature exclusives, to basically re-inventing/popularizing entire genres. The biggest let down, unfortunately, is that you need to buy all of these games separately, for thirty bucks each; each! I feel like I’ve played REmake and 4 plenty of times, so if any of these are going in my library it’d probably be Zero.

 

Expansions:

Cities: Skylines – Campus (PC) – Releases May 21^st

In the Devil’s latest effort to tempt me into spending money I shouldn’t, an expansion is coming out for a game in my favorite new genre of the week, city building simulators. In the Campus expansion for Cities: Skylines, you will build, what else, college campuses. With three different types of colleges to build (liberal arts, university, and trade school), you’ll have the ability to set school policy, create sports teams, show off scientific achievements in the local museums, and see your citizens graduate on five brand new maps. The flesh is willing, but the spirit says no…no…noooooooo!

 

Everything else:

Dauntless (PC/PS4/Xbox One) – Releases May 21^st, PC version exclusive to Epic Games Store

Taking graphical cues from Fortnite, this new MMO is coming to consoles and the Epic Games Store this week. Having spent the last year in an open beta, the team at Phoenix Labs is ready to launch the full game, just in time for you and your #squadgoals to run around in virtual fields as you sit in your room, hunched over your computer screen…as you play Fortnite, because come on. You really think teenagers are going to stop playing the biggest game in the world and jump over to a new title? Good luck.

Fission Superstar X (PC/Xbox One) – Releases May 21^st

This is a rogue-lite shooter with cartoonish graphics and a silly premise about a mad scientist sending you on a quest to deliver his greatest invention, a bomb named Celine. This game is so forgettable I’ve already lost intere….look, a butterfly!

Observation (PC/PS4) – Releases May 21^st, PC version exclusive to Epic Games Store

From Devolver Digital comes 2001: A Space Odyssey – The Game, okay, not really, but it kind of sounds like it. Set aboard a space station, this sci-fi thriller has you playing the role of S.A.M., the space station’s AI helper, who is assisting the astronauts on board, including Dr. Emma Fisher. By accessing security cameras and various other tools on the space station, you must help Emma discover what is causing her crew to suddenly vanish, and why the space station (and S.A.M.) are beginning to malfunction.

Balancelot (PC) – Releases May 23^rd

You must balance Sir Lancelot on a unicycle. Were you expecting more?

Dollhouse (PC/PS4) – Releases May 24^th

This graphical adventure game is not based on the Joss Whedon television show, but is an original idea about a mysterious woman who must solve the mystery about her mysterious past. What mysterious characters will you meet along the way, and what mysteries will they add to your menagerie of other mysteries? It’s a mystery.

Hungry Baby: Party Treats (Switch) – Releases May 24^th

I initially thought this was one of those Ubisoft Babiez games that they would release for the DS, so boy was I surprised when I saw that it was a wacky party game. In this four player game, you control a tasty treat for a hungry baby, trying your best to reach his/her mouth while avoiding hazardous traps and obstacles.

Super Tennis Blast (PC/PS4/Switch) – Releases May 24^th

Arcade style tennis that doesn’t feature famous video game characters. Who gives a shit?

 

Notable Releases from 10, 20 and 30 years ago:

Hey, last week I goofed. As much as I love Punch-Out!! for the Wii, a much bigger game came out that I completely overlooked, Minecraft. Notch’s masterpiece is as synonymous with video games today as Mario, Sonic, and Master Chief. Ah well, what are you gonna do? I’ll talk about it when the official PC release happened in Nov. 2011, so get ready for this paragraph to pay off in 2021.

Infamous (PS3) – Released May 26^th, 2009: Wiki Link

It’s interesting how Sony just kind of abandons its properties. Sly Cooper, Jak & Daxter, Killzone, Resistance, they’ve all just kind of fizzled out. Another game to add to that list is a title that was about as generic as they come, but somehow gained a following, Infamous (or inFAMOUS). This supernatural story has you playing the role of bike messenger Cole McGrath (one in a long line of protagonists featured on the cover with their chin down and eyes up), who has suddenly found himself the recipient of super powers after being caught in an explosion. The explosion also resulted in the island city you live in to be cut off from the rest of the society, leading to a massive rise in violent crimes, so like any good comic book superhero, you use your new powers to protect the people from chaos and stop the bad guys. It’s a pretty stupid premise, but the game was really well received by both critics and players. The game would go on to spawn two sequels, Infamous 2 and Infamous Second Son, as well as a couple of pieces of DLC. I don’t know why Sony has thrown this on the pile of forgotten titles, with Second Son releasing five years ago, but maybe one day its KPI score will increase and they’ll ask Sucker Punch to get back to work on a follow-up title. I mean, at some point 2009 will be nostalgic for somebody, and we’ll get the remaster and sequel on the PS6, or not.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (PC) – Released May 19^th, 1999: Wiki Link

I had a lot of trouble finding a game that was released this week ten years ago, and while there might have been a few small titles, they most likely were not that notable. Some of you might be wondering why, and lest you forget last week’s title from 1999, there was a huge, monumental event happening, the release of the first brand new Star Wars movie in 16 years. Yes, we now all know that The Phantom Menace was pretty much a huge pile of garbage, but back then it was the biggest thing in pop culture. Who would want to release a video game the same week as the biggest movie of the year, hell, maybe even the decade? With that in mind, the only games to come out, it seems, were the two based on the game, Racer and the official movie adaptation. Released as an action-RPG, the game was a commercial success, selling over 300,000 copies in 1999. The Wikipedia page makes some fairly unsubstantiated claims, like saying it is a gem in the classic gaming community and has a cult following; WHERE’S YOUR SOURCES?!!?! Reviewers praised the game for its RPG elements, which was still something of a rarity in mainstream gaming, but had harsh words for its camera angles and voice acting. The game would eventually make its way to the Sony PlayStation in August, and the movie would eventually lose the title of “worst Star Wars movie ever” when episode 2, Attack of the Clones, would release three years later.

Tetris (Tengen version) (NES) – Released May 1989: Wiki Link

I spent a lot of time talking about Tengen in last December’s 1988 retrospective in gaming, discussing their frustration with Nintendo and their proprietary cartridges and licensing rules. While the history of Tetris and its release is a fascinating tale on its own, I won’t really go too much into it as there is a rather interesting take on it from the Gaming Historian on YouTube. Suffice to say, Atari (Tengen) thought they had the console rights to the game, and manufactured hundreds of thousands of unlicensed cartridges, shipping them to stores across North America. However, behind the scenes, Nintendo was working out a deal for both the hand held AND console rights to Tetris from the company in Russia, ELORG, that actually owned the game. This put Tengen in a huge spot, and probably furthered their disdain for Nintendo, and when a judge ordered Tengen to recall all copies of the game and destroy them, it was a painful blow to Atari and Tengen’s bottom line. The game was only available, legally, for about four weeks, selling around 100,000 copies (money I’m sure Tengen had to fork over to Nintendo). Some critics have hailed the game, calling it the superior NES version, and were particularly happy with the two player variant of the game, which had you playing cooperatively. Tengen wouldn’t be long for this world, but in the short time they were here they were a huge thorn in the paw of the Nintendo lion.