On the way back to camp after Tribal Council, the 11 remaining castaways tried to think of nice things to say about Jeff Kent.
“He, uh, he really . . .” Joe’s voice trailed off uncertainly.
“I mean, he . . .” Izzy began brightly before also falling silent.
“Well, he was a five-time All-Star and holds the record for homeruns by a second baseman,” supplied Jane Goodall. “That’s pretty impressive.”
The others looked at her in surprise. “What, I can’t have other interests?” she asked.
“Ook! Oooook! Ook!” said Peanut.
“Thank you, Peanut. You’re right,” replied the Chimp Mama. “I am also a promising amateur skeet shooter.”
There was an awkward silence, broken only by Aria Speedwagon softly humming “Take Me Out to the Boneyard,” a tune with which she was quite taken.
Finally! Glytch Grylls thought. It’s my time to shine! Create some bonds, really get to know these people, and take over this game!
“Hey!” His voice squeaked, and he cleared his throat. The others jumped, not having realized he was there. “I mean, heeeeey!” Glytch continued in a deeper voice. “Does anyone want to hear a neat math problem?”
“God no!” blurted Professor Jake before remembering their manners. “I mean, uh, not right now. Hey, why don’t you go foraging for some food or . . . medicinal plants or something. You’re good at that right?”
“Um, yes! Totally!” Glytch Grylls tried to sound confident. “Survival is absolutely my thing. Everything you’ve seen about me surviving in the wild is 100% true. You can count on me!” With that, Glytch marched off into the forest, determined to find something that would ingratiate him with the group and turn his game around.
“Ooh! Berries!” Glytch was delighted to discover a treasure trove of delicious fruit so close to camp. He looked around. “Huh. I didn’t know berries grew in a neat pile like that, with no trees or bushes or anything around. And already de-stemmed. Huh. You learn something new every day I guess. Awesome!”
With that, Glytch Grylls popped a handful of berries into his mouth, then began gathering the rest into his bag. Suddenly he stopped, gagged, clutched his stomach, and keeled over dead, purple foam dripping from the corner of his mouth.
“I can’t believe he fell for that,” mused his killer, watching from the shadows. “If anyone, I thought it’d be Jay.”
Mr. Glitch / Glytch Grylls is dead.
The next day, they gathered on the beach. Jeff Probst counted the remaining Survivors, and for the first time his genial mask slipped.
“One death? ONE DEATH?!? All I want is your souls, and no one is cooperating. FINE! You know what? There are going to be some changes around here.”
Three new rules (for now) are in effect for Day/Night 3
- Though Twilight is not until 2pm EST on Friday, May 17th, alliances will lock at 9am on Friday, May 17th (five hours before Tribal Council) and remain locked until Day 4. There will be a Mod Announcement after alliances lock.
- The double-targeting rule is no more. If a player is targeted at night by any number of multiple factions, that player will simply be extra dead (assuming they are not guarded.)
- Alliances will select their own Spies and Bodyguards (if applicable). It will be a majority-rules decision.
Also, there will be a Reward Challenge, following by an Immunity Idol Drop, at 8pm EST tonight (Thursday, May 16th).
This game is not divided into factions. It’s every player for themself. Only one player can win. However, players are welcome/encouraged to form alliances amongst themselves, with each new alliance getting a QT (private chat). Players can use their individual QTs to ask the moderators to issue an invitation to one or more other players to form an alliance; players may send and/or accept as many or as few alliance invitations as they want before Twilight. However, a player cannot be in more than three active alliances at the same time; if a player who already has three active alliances wants to initiate or accept a new alliance offer, they will need to leave one of their already-existing alliances (that alliance QT will be closed and a new one opened for the remaining alliance members, if any). A player who is invited to join an alliance will be told the identity of the person issuing the invitation and the number of players in the alliance at the time the invitation was issued, but not the other members of the alliance (if any).
Alliances are locked at Twilight until the start of the next Day. On Day 3, alliances will lock at 9am EST on Friday, May 17th and remain locked until the start of Day 4. The creator of an alliance will be told in their individual QT when players accept or reject their invitation and will be told if a player leaves the alliance.
All players will convene on the Open Thread (OT) daily, as usual, to discuss eliminating one player at Tribal Council (No Kill is not an option, and ties will follow Survivor rules – a tie equals a two-hour runoff at Twilight between all tied players [tied players cannot vote in the runoff], and if the runoff ends in a tie, it will go to rocks [all players except the tied players will be eligible for an RNG kill]). However, day-kill voting will occur in each player’s private QT (the votes will be read at Twilight, but who voted for whom will not be made public). Each player can only vote once per day (unless there’s a runoff or other special circumstances).
In addition, each alliance (or lone player should a player not be in any alliance[s]) can target one player for a kill each Night.
If the same player is targeted for death at Night by an even number of players/alliances, the kill will not go through.
Each alliance with two or more living players will have a Spy (who changes nightly). The Spy can use Tony’s Spy Shack™ at night to steal another player’s Immunity Idol (if they have one) or to determine the number of alliances in which a player is participating plus the identity of one unknown alliance member (they will decide in which spying activity to engage). The Spy can select any player to investigate and will list their target in their individual QT.
Each alliance with three or more living players will have a Bodyguard, who can protect another player from night kills and from spies. The Bodyguard will change nightly and will name their protected player (who does not have to be a member of that alliance) in their individual QT. Bodyguards cannot protect themselves and cannot protect the same player for the same alliance two Nights in a row.
The Spy and/or Bodyguard will be chosen by
RNG a majority decision in each alliance. If the same player serves multiple roles for multiple alliances on the same night, they will only be able to target one player that night (if the player is both the Bodyguard and the Spy, they will be able to both spy on and protect their target).
There will be an unknown number of immunity idols available to players in the game. One of the mods will announce when idols are hidden. Idols may take the form of a Tyler Perry Immunity Idol (TPII) or a Fucking Stick TPII (FSTPII). Two TPIIs were hidden on Day 1. The TPIIs allow a player to declare immunity from a day kill (on behalf of themself or another player) at any time in the day until Twilight (after Twilight is called, an idol cannot be used that day, unless there is a runoff vote). The FSTPII will have additional powers that will be announced when it is hidden. Idols have been / will be hidden in Avocado discussions no more than three days old at the time they are announced. Idols have not been / will not be hidden in the “In All Seriousness” thread, the restricted threads (women’s thread, POC thread, LGBT+ threads, etc.), a spoilery thread, the sex thread (we have teens!), or any other thread where game playing would not be appropriate. When a player finds an idol, they should download or screenshot the image (which they will post on the OT when they decide to use the idol, if possible) and tell the moderators in their individual QT (first come, first serve), at which point the moderators will delete the idol. A player who finds an idol should provide to the mods a link to where they found it. Whether a player tells others about holding an idol (prior to using it) is up to that player. The veracity of a player’s idol will not be confirmed until they attempt to play it. If a player dies holding an idol, that idol is out of the game. If a player’s idol is stolen, the player will be notified of the theft but not the thief.
Daily challenges on the OT will yield an advantage to the winning player. The advantages will vary. Challenges may take the form of reward challenges or individual immunity challenges.
When the game is down to a certain number of players, the surviving players will make their pitch, and all deceased players in the Ponderosa Graveyard will become the Final Jury to vote on which player wins the ultimate prize of Soul Survivor. Note that participants in the Ponderosa Graveyard have access to all behind-the-scenes information, including all alliance QTs (open and closed).
Living players may not quote from QTs on the OTs or between QTs. Deceased players may not comment in QTs (other than their individual QTs and the Ponderosa QT) or on the OTs until the final day (when notified).
In this game, there is no minimum participation rule. There are also no backup players. Anyone who needs to quit will be helicoptered out. No editing comments. As always, be accommodating to different play styles, and remember that it’s just a game.
- Captain Video / Aria Speedwagon
Mayelbridwen / Sandra Diaz-Twine
- Goat / Space Pirate Rupert Boneham
- Sister Jude / Sue Hawk
Lindsay / McGruff the Crime Dog
- dw / Joe Anglim
InnDE / Jonny Fairplay
- Hayes / Izzy, aka E-Scope, aka Brainzilla
April / Jeff Kent
- The Wasp / Jane Goodall (and Peanut)
Owen / Reba Hart Louie / John(nie) Cochran(e)
- Grumproro / Kim Spradlin
- Lamb Dance / Ghost
ThoughtsThoughtsThoughts / Stephenie LaGrossa
- MacCrocodile / Professor Jake, from Tennessee
- Ralph / Lillian Morris
- spooky / Jay Starrett
Mr. Glitch / Glytch Grylls
Survivor History Corner
In season 26, Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites, the “Three Amigos” alliance of Malcolm, Eddie, and Reynold was in dire straits, as the larger alliance of “Stealth R Us” had the numbers to vote out whichever of the Three Amigos they wanted at the next Tribal Council.
But then things started going wrong for Stealth R Us. After deciding that they would target Reynold first at Tribal Council, Reynold won the immunity challenge, meaning he was safe from elimination. So, they turned their attention to Malcolm, only to witness Malcolm finding a hidden immunity idol.
Though frustrated, Stealth R Us decided to split their votes between Malcolm and Eddie, reasoning that even if Malcolm played his idol, Eddie would still be gone. At Tribal Council, all of this was already out in the open, and Eddie was sure he was going home — until Malcolm pulled another idol out of his pocket, commenting, “I found this one a while ago.” Malcolm gave that idol to Eddie and kept his new idol for himself. He warned the others that his alliance was going to vote Phillip (the leader of Stealth R Us) and that they should too.
Stealth R Us, following Phillip’s lead, decided to stick to their plan, hoping that perhaps Malcolm or Eddie was bluffing and wouldn’t play his idol. They were wrong. Malcolm and Eddie both played their idols as a grinning Reynold looked on, and Phillip – or “Fillup” – was voted out.
(Tribal Council starts at about 26:15.)
The Three Amigos wouldn’t last much longer in the game, and it probably wasn’t actually all that smart a play by Malcolm, but it was one of the great Tribal Council moments and deserves a prominent place in Survivor history.
Day 3 ends at 2:00pm EST on Friday, May 17th.