Welp, we got our first look at Star Wars: Still No Title today, and as is usually the case with Disney tentpoles, it was through an apparent leak.
The promo art–revealed via Making Star Wars–shows most of the characters from the upcoming extravaganza, including some apparent new faces. Rey appears to have changed outfits, Finn has a new haircut, Rose and Luke are nowhere in sight, and HOLY SHIT WHY IS THREEPIO CARRYING A WEAPON?!?!
Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK??? ARE THREEPIO’S FINGERS EVEN CAPABLE OF PULLING TRIGGERS???
There are some other things to talk about. The promo art shows us what appears to be our first official look at the “Knights of Ren,” and they looks pretty sweet, and WHY IS THREEPIO CARRYING WHAT APPEARS TO BE CHEWBACCA’S CROSSBOW?!?!
Had Threepio finally had ENOUGH of Chewbacca’s shit when it came to space checkers? Did he go “THIS is how you let the wookiee win, motherfucker!” and grab it from him? Is he avenging the death of R2-D2 (who is no where to be seen here)?
Anyway, we can talk of other things. Kylo Ren appears to have his helmet back after Snoke made fun of it in the last movie, but Snoke’s dead now (we think?), so maybe he’s cool with it OMG MAYBE THREEPIO WILL BE THE ONE TO KILL KYLO REN!!!!!
Star Wars: Endgame opens this Christmas.