Today is March 25th, a normal day for most, but if you’ve seen 1985’s yuletide cult classic Santa Claus: The Movie, then you know that it’s also (or was at least going to be) a very special holiday: “Christmas 2”
If you haven’t seen the movie–which was a commercial and critical bomb at the time it was released–it almost plays as two films. The first one involves a majestic origin of Santa Claus story, explaining how Santa and his wife were granted the gift of immortality by a bunch of elves following a near death experience.
The second half of the movie focuses on an orphan boy, a rich girl, an overly eager elf named Patch played by Dudley Moore, and “B.Z.”, a greedy toy tycoon who’s so bad at what he does that he allows for nails to find their way into his company’s dolls.
Moore gets top billing for Santa Claus: The Movie, but the film belongs to two other people: David Huddleston’s lovable Santa Claus, and John Lithgow’s delightfully selfish villain. “B.Z.” takes an unwitting Patch under his wing after he runs away from the North Pole because he thinks Santa Claus doesn’t like him anymore (it’s…that kind of movie, okay?), using him to save his company from some terrible press. To his dismay, however, Patch’s idea for helping him involves giving away a toy FOR FREE…
B.Z. ends up liking the result, though, as Patch’s gift is a lollipop filled with magical dust which causes the consumer to levitate above the ground. B.Z. smells instant money, and immediately gets Patch to work on another product, a candy cane which will make people FLY. Not wanting to wait until the following December for such profits, B.Z. pitches another holiday be created for March 25th, the perfect day for a sequel…
In the end, though, things end up not working out so well for B.Z. He kidnaps the orphan boy, Santa Claus goes all Liam Neeson on him, and he eventually floats off into outer space. But he’s still able to breathe (magic!), so he’ll probably be fine.
Merry Christmas 2, everyone!