What a draining week of news it’s been. Let’s stop for a minute and get caught up – how about a recap of all the crimes going on in the Trump administration? Well, some of the crimes, there’s way too many to do all of them. Let’s rock, England in the ’70s and early ’80s-style!

 

Roger Stone

Stone, who is on trial for crimes, decided it would benefit him to post a death threat against his judge on Instagram. Let’s check in, shall we?

Federal Judge Slaps Roger Stone With Gag Order After He Apologizes for Instagram Post

One more time like this, and his bail gets revoked. You’d think it would be easy to avoid doing egregiously awful stuff in public for a little while, but this is Roger Stone we’re talking about. Can a 66-year-old man who has spent his entire adult life indulging every hateful thought that enters his head just, well, stop being that way? I know how I would bet, so for the like-minded out there, we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since Stone is potentially facing a lengthy sentence if/when he’s convicted, a revocation of his bail may mean his time as a free man has ended for a long time. Nothing to do now but wait for the inevitable.

 

Wilbur Ross

The Commerce Secretary has been doing commerce, all right – his own, and it’s far from the first time.

Facing ethics violation, Wilbur Ross says he didn’t mean to file inaccurate financial disclosures

What, you don’t believe him? Hey now, we should trust him – he’s just like Trump, always telling it like it is, like this from last month.

Wilbur Ross on unpaid federal workers going to food banks: “I don’t really quite understand why”

Maybe this is armchair psychology, but I think this guy is kind of a jerk. More broadly, I suspect that like a lot of grifters he has a genuine hatred for his marks. It’s how crooks justify to themselves all the pain they cause to others. “They deserve it.”

 

Donald Trump

Rumors have been flying that Robert Mueller will submit the epic finale of his investigation to the Department of Justice next week. The debunking has already begun about that, but whenever the report is finally released, it might just breathe fire. It could implicate Trump, his family, and other senior administration figures in obstruction of justice and who knows what else. What then? Perhaps Trump’s paranoia will spike, and after much outrageous behavior, he will finally, mercifully, be sent to jail. Just like in the documentary below.

 

Please don’t threaten Mayor McSquirrel or, like, anyone at all. Enjoy the weekend!