What a ghastly sight – Democrats in control of the US House! And instantly, decency and decorum go out the window. For starters, a freshman Democratic representative called the President of the United States a… a… a motherfucker!
Republicans would never tolerate such a breach of common politeness! Just read this shocking description of the blemish this young Congresswoman has left on our fine institutions.
Oh, uh, wrong link. I’ll find it later, no need to worry.
And then there’s the dancing. Dancing! DANCING! Outrageous! It bears repeating multiple times, and in all caps this time! OUTRAGEOUS! Watch this shameful display by Representative Ocasio-Cortez, and judge for yourself. I encourage you to be harsh.
Er, a lot of link trouble today. I’ll have someone look into that. Moving on!
You know who’s got a really good handle on all this? The man (we insist!) to get us back on the right track? Mitt Romney. This guy is always on top of things, like a dog on the roof of a car. Senator So-Wholesome-He-Irons-His-Clothes-While-Wearing-Them wrote an op-ed about the utter depravity of the Democratic caucus in the House. Check it out.
Dammit, link trouble again! What is the matter with… oh? Ah. Aha. I see. I guess that is, in fact, the correct link.
Now, there may just be another reason (other than, you know, losing the House) that the GOP feels so offended by the new kids in town.
The congressional freshman class of 2019 is perhaps best described in superlatives. It is the most racially diverse and most female group of representatives ever elected to the House, whose history spans more than 200 years. And it boasts an avalanche of firsts, from the first Native American congresswomen to the first Muslim congresswomen.
But I must insist that we end the conversation with my implication that the new Congress has a lot of [GASP] women and [GASP] people of color, and even [GASP^2] both, and that this is entirely incompatible with Republican rules of decorum. So I’ll stop myself there – it would be very impolite to say it out loud.
NOT OUT LOUD, TUCKER. How many times have we been over this?
No threatening Mayor McSquirrel or anyone else, please. Have at it!