“G-g-g-g-goddammit it’s cold!”
Tom Johnson stood in two feet of fresh snow that was leaking over the tops of the Wonder Bread bags he’d stuffed his feet into before putting on his boots. Looking over the ruined remains of last night’s bonfire he figured he had about 20 minutes, at best, until he couldn’t feel his feet anymore.
Mayor Lucy Moran’s body was in the county morgue. With no ME and the ground frozen over, there wasn’t any harm in letting her body sit tight for a day or two. Besides, it was plain as day to Muncie Adams that she’d OD’d on Oxy; the bottle was right there. What the Assistant ME couldn’t figure out was the scalpel slash that opened her throat. That came after she’d breathed her last; he was sure of that. Well she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, anyway. And there was an Italian grinder with Muncie’s name on it.
Ten minutes into cleaning up the mess from last night and Tom Johnson realized he’d miscalculated. The tips of his fingers and toes had already lost sensation. He was not looking forward to the painful pinpricks that came with the blood rushing back into his extremities. And where the fuck was Womerander?!? Jake was supposed to be here already with her dump truck. How else where they going to get all this crap out of here? His shovel clinked on something in the snow. Clearing it away, he found a nearly empty bottle of Jim Beam. Nearly empty but not quite empty.
“Ho Ho, lucky m-m-m-me! Jake can suck it for b-b-b-being late!”
Tom opened it up and slugged down the remains, feeling the burn go from his throat on down to his balls.
“Oh f-f-f-f-fuck yeah. That’ll d-d-d-do Tom Johnson just f-f-f-fine, thank you very much.”
Muncie Adams shoved the last of the grinder into his mouth and wiped the shredded lettuce and oil from his mouth. He poured himself a fresh steaming cup of coffee from his thermos, took a timid sip, sighed in pleasure, and leaned back in his chair. For all his faults, Brad made a damn fine pot of coffee. From the other room came the sounds of a child’s laughter, the hiss of a cat, and the shuffle slide of a body falling from one of the tables.
Jake finally showed up, and she and Tom argued over what time they’d agreed to meet. Jake was especially peeved to see Tom had glugged all the bourbon down.
“Dammit, Tom, ya could’ve saved me and GG some!”
“Naw, there weren’t n-n-n-nothin’ but a drop or two left. C’mon and help me get all this stu-stu-stu-stuff loaded into your truck. If yer nice to me I might share some of that Bu-bu-buffalo Trace I got back home.”
“Ok-k-k-kay, but don’t say nuthin’ to Ma, right?”
Jake’s truck whizzed through the back roads, sure-handedly riding all the curves and icy patches. Jake couldn’t wait to dump all the town shit and get in on some of Tom’s bourbon. So focused on that bourbon, Jake completely missed the small figure dragging the body through the snow in the direction of the townie kids’ “Pet Sematary,” and the cat hopping and hissing unhappily through the snow.
Fliers and yard signs began popping up around Lupineville like freshly fertilized mushrooms.
“Vote Mac! He’s Got Your Back!”
“Vote Goat! Or Don’t!”
“Anna Banana Make Me Your Jailer-a!”
“Shini Shini! <3”
“I am sic and so are you.”
No one was clear what that last one meant, but they voted anyway.
MAYOR — Heads the Town Council. Has veto power on any decisions made.
SHERIFF — Has six kill shots.
JAILER — Can protect/block a player each night.
MEDICAL EXAMINER — Can cure a player each night.
None of these actions can be used on the same player on successive Nights.
Day One voting will not involve a String Up but instead an Election! The Vote Thread will consist of each position of the Town Council being voted on. Vote early and vote often! The Town Council will share a QT and will be protected from Night attacks on the first night of sitting in office. If a Council Member is killed at any point, they will be replaced the following day by a new vote, and the new Council Member will be protected on their first Night in office. We’re asking for players to be very active during Day One so we can have a successful Election process. After that, three comments each Day is acceptable. Due to the nature of our game we’re going to ask players to be fairly tight lipped post-Twilight and post-Death. No editing of comments and absolutely no quoting, direct or otherwise, of QTs without Mods’ approval. This will seriously be frowned upon!
And that’s it! I’m sure you’ll have lots of questions that we may or may not answer. We’re looking for players who aren’t afraid of the unknown and are willing to go down a darkened alley…and to have fun!
This is a game, and it gets intense at times, so please remember to attack arguments not people or play styles.
1)Goat — (Not-so-Giant)Hogweed
2)Hayes — Klaus
3)InnDE — The Budweiser Frogs
4)sic — DWIGHT!!!
5)Annanomally — Peter Porker
6)dw — Red Miller
7)Lord Stoneheart — uh, John (Really JEB! but shhhhh)
8)Captain Video – Bert the Turtle
9)Shinichiki — Intense Chicken
10)April — A Sloth
11)Mayelbridwen — A Bunch of Zombie Flies
12)Mac- Marty Stu MacCrocodile
13)Louie — Eleanor Bunny
14)moonstermash — Taylor
15)Library Lass — Nightmares
16)Owen — Heat Miser
17)Nick — Mickey Mouse
18)Sister Jude — Manic Pixie Death Girl
19)Lindsay — Jon Arbuckle
20)Thoughts — Mrs. Frisby
Chapter One will end on 1/2/19 at 5pm PST (aka 8pm EST).(haha, jake!)