I am not best pleased that Grand Hotel is not airing until summer, ABC. I want to see random shirtless waiters and someone get murdered with an oar now!

*pouts*

Okay. Let’s see what’s apparently more interesting than oar murder.

Schooled

Set in 1990-something, Schooled is a spinoff of The Goldbergs and follows the hilarious faculty of William Penn Academy, led by new music teacher and WP graduate Lainey Lewis, Principal Glascott, Coach Mellor and young, enthusiastic super-teacher Charlie Brown or CB for short. Despite their eccentricities and crazy personal lives, these teachers are heroes to their students.

Starring: AJ Michalka, Tim Meadows, Bryan Callen, Rachel Crow, Brett Dier

Premieres: Wednesday, January 9th 8:30 PM EST

Pros:

I’ve never watched The Goldbergs but there’s a lot of love for it. I’ve not been interested but the idea taking a character from an ongoing show and flashing forward to their life in a different decade is kind of a ballsy move (unless they’ve already reached the 90’s on The Goldbergs. It’s been on for awhile). Schooled looks really charming and it has Tim Meadows and Michael from Jane the Virgin so I’ll probably give it a couple episodes.

Cons:

So…this is a retooling of a different pilot that focused on characters played by Nia Long and Tim Meadows. That pilot apparently tested higher than the pilot for The Goldbergs did. It did not get picked up but aired as a special episode of The Goldbergs. They retooled it to focus on AJ Michalka’s character from The Goldbergs, turning it into a show about a former student coming back to her old school as as teacher. AJ Michalka is awesome but I can’t help but feel a little uneasy about the change. Honestly, this could just all be due to Nia Long getting a series regular position on NCIS LA and them needing to adjust but still…I’m giving them the slightest of side eyes.

Also, Rachel Crow cannot be twenty years old. I watched Nicole Scherzinger destroy your dreams when you were a little girl on the X-Factor. I do not accept that you are twenty years old.

Whiskey Cavalier

A high-octane, hour-long action dramedy that follows the adventures of tough but tender FBI super-agent Will Chase (codename: “Whiskey Cavalier”). Following an emotional break-up, Chase is assigned to work with badass CIA operative Francesca “Frankie” Trowbridge (codename: “Fiery Tribune”). Together, they lead an inter-agency team of flawed, funny and heroic spies who periodically save the world (and each other) while navigating the rocky roads of friendship, romance and office politics.

Starring: Scott Foley, Lauren Cohan, Ana Ortiz, Tyler James Williams, Josh Hopkins, Vir Das.

Premieres: Wednesday February 27th 10PM EST

Pros:

This looks fun. I love super intense spy shows that put their people through the ringer and examines the emotional toll that espionage takes on a person but sometimes you need to watch pretty people punch things. And Lauren Cohan gets to be on a show where doesn’t have to be covered in zombie filth and tears. Yaaay.

Cons:

It’s gonna take me a little longer to get over Jake Ballard and his insane nonsense. I’m not saying you ruined Scott Foley, Scandal but…you didn’t not ruin Scott Foley.

The Fix

Attorney and author Marcia Clark co-writes and executive produces a new legal drama about Maya Travis, an L.A. district attorney who suffers a devastating defeat when prosecuting an A-list actor for double murder. With her high-profile career derailed, she flees for a quieter life in Washington. Eight years later when this same celebrity is under suspicion for another murder, Maya Travis is lured back to the DA’s office for another chance at justice.

Starring: Robin Tunney, Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje, Scott Cohen, Adam Rayner, Merrin Dungey, Breckin Meyer, Marc Blucas, Mouzam Makkar, Alex Saxon

Premieres: Monday, March 18th 10PM EST

Pros: 

Just from a meta standpoint, I’m kind of curious as to who the killer will be. Because it all seems a bit too neat to have him be the murderer again. But with Marcia Clark on board, will she have her expy doggedly going after an innocent (albeit loathsome) man?

Killer or not, Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje gives really good bad guy. I remember watching Oz as a little girl and being simultaneously hypnotized and disgusted by his character. Time will tell if Sevvy Johnson is as good a villain as Adebisi, but showrunners Sarah Fain and Elizabeth Craft have worked on some great shows. I think this will be worth a watch.

Cons:

The People vs. OJ Simpson is nearly three years old now and it seems a little late to be capitalizing on that show’s success. But…then again. We probably do owe Marcia Clark for how we all treated her during the OJ trial.