Last Week on Tales From the opposite of The Hood:
Archie almost dies because he’s stupid and horny
Veronica totally shows how independent she is by asking her knowingly evil Dad for advice then taking that advice
Betty has a sassy inner monologue but then gets brainwashed by drug dealing nuns
Hiram controls basically every single business in town
Last week’s episode was so bad, popular Mothership reviewer LaFergs gave up on the show completely
but hey hey at least this week we meet mama Jughead and Jelly Bean!