So You Think You Can Think: Puzzle 12

Oh hey there! Been a while, hasn’t it? Well, I’m back with some more confusing and ponderous puzzlers for your potential enjoyment! This one is short, but bittersweet and probably a bit on the tough side. However I have faith in you, O Avocados.

Before that, let’s just list out the answers to our last puzzle…in case people have been waiting eagerly and patiently for those!

Spoiler

Category One:
Soap Operas
As the World Turns
General Hospital
All My Children
Days of Our Lives
One Life to Live
Search for Tomorrow

Category Two:
“And” Bands
Huey Lewis and the News
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
Florence and the Machine
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Category Three:
Original Members of the Rolling Stones
Brian Jones, Guitar
Ian Stewart, Piano
Mick Jagger, Lead Vocals
Keith Richards, Guitar
Bill Wyman, Bass
Charlie Watts, Drums

Category Four:
Big Fast Food Burgers
Wendy’s Classic Triple at Wendy’s
Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese at McDonald’s
Original 6 Dollar Thickburger at Carl’s Junior
Triple Whopper with Cheese at Burger King
Monster Thickburger at Hardee’s
Double Cheese Slider at White Castle

Category Five:
2018 Academy Award Winners
Guillermo Del Toro for The Shape of Water
Allison Janney for I, Tonya
Frances McDormand for Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri
Guillermo del Toro and J. Miles Dale for The Shape of Water
Sam Rockwell for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Montana
Gary Oldman for Darkest Hour

Category Six:
Sitting Governors
Doug Doucey of the Great State of Arizona
Mary Fallin of the Great State of Oklahoma
Matthew Mead of the Great State of Wyoming
John Bell Edwards of the Great State of Louisiana
Jim Justice of the Great State of West Virginia
Dennis Daugaard of the Great State of South Dakota

Category Seven:
Baseball Hall of Famers who Only Played for One Team
Johnny Bench with the Cincinnati Reds
Tony Gwynn with the San Diego Padres
Kirby Puckett with the Minnesota Twins
Roberto Clemente with the Pittsburgh Pirates
Pee Wee Reese with the Brooklyn and LA Dodgers
Cy Young with the Boston Red Sox

Category Eight:
Cocktails
Piña colada: Rum, Coconut Cream, Pineapple Juice
Martini: Gin, Vermouth, Olive
White Russian: Vodka, Coffee Liqueur, Cream
Manhattan: Rye, Vermouth, Bitters, Maraschino Cherry
Screwdriver: Vodka, Orange Juice
Long Island Iced Tea: Tequila, Vodka, Rum, Triple Sec, Gin, Lemon Juice and Cola

Category Nine:
Imperial Measurements
12 Inches in a Foot
3 Feet in a Yard
22 Yards in a Chain
10 Chains in a Furlong
8 Furlongs in a Mile
3 Miles in a League

Category Ten:
Songs taken to #1 on Billboard’s Charts by Two Different Bands/Artists
“Please, Mr. Postman” by The Marvelettes and The Carpenters
“Lean on Me” by Bill Withers and Club Nouveau
“When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge and Michael Bolton
“Venus” by Shocking Blue and Bananarama
“Lady Marmalade” by LaBelle and Cristina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya and Pink
“I’ll Be There” by The Jackson 5 and Mariah Carey

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Oh my god, I remember those! But I don’t remember these, because this is the first time they’ve appeared on the site. As the header image shows, nowadays it seems everyone is online and elite enough to drop Internet Acronym slang into their online chats. In fact, it’s escaping the containment of the Internet and appearing in other places. It makes sense, if you want to get your message across without typing too much.

So, below we have a few examples of somewhat-specific concepts, and each one can lead you to a mashup of an online shorthand or abbreviation, and a fully spelled-out brand name, iconic theme, reference to well known pop culture figures, etc. For example, “If you ask me, Spike Lee’s best film was the one about the jazz musician,” could be expressed as IMO Better Blues. “Oh, what a cursed existence I have on this baseball cable network!” could be FMLB Network.

It goes on from there. Here we go!

  1. I’m not going to waste my time with this long article about a soda.
  2. I found that tragic boy-and-his-dog movie to be really funny!
  3. According to my metrics, this guy had the greatest impact on the sport this year, but not everyone may agree with me.
  4. Utter hilarity at the big, fancy toy store!
  5. My memory could be flawed, but I don’t think it was Coke or Pepsi.
  6. And now, to claim dominant victory, here’s a defunct airline!
  7. Ew, dude, I didn’t need to know about your old-timey TV show jamboree chant.
  8. This was fun, let’s chat some more when George Harrison’s song plays.
  9. I am in utter, judgmental disbelief at some folks’ kinks.
  10. Nah, just teasing about your super-popular magical children’s series.

Leave your guesses and any heartfelt words of relief for my return in the comments below!