It’s November 17th, and you know what that means! It’s LIFE DAY! Forty years ago today, the Star Wars Holiday Special aired on CBS for its one and only exposure to the public, never to be seen again through official channels. I’ve watched it at least six times and I’ve kind of grown to love it. No other piece of media better captures the existential malaise, the aimless consumption, the boundless eternity of a mediocre Christmas morning. It’s secretly brilliant as Wookiee Mumblecore.
So go buy some gifts from you friendly neighborhood merchant, Art Carney, on the planet of Kazook!
Cook up a nice tender Bantha Loin!
Wear a terrifying amount of makeup to cover up your 1977 car crash injuries until they can invent the Wampa to explain it away!
Watch a cartoon that’s somehow about your dad and his friends???
Distract Imperial officers by showing them Jefferson Starship singing into phallic purple microphones!
Grab a drink from Bea Arthur, and pour it into the hole in your head as she sings you out of the bar!
Remember that TOBOR is Robot spelled backwards!
Watch space porn right there in the living room!
Wear red robes because the production budget didn’t have enough money for more than four full Wookiee costumes!
And of course, sing the classic hymn of Life Day! Take it away, Carrie!
We celebrate a day of peace
A day of harmony
A day of joy we can all share
A day that takes us through the darkness
A day that leads us into might
A day that makes us want to celebrate the light
A day that brings the promise
that one day, we’ll be free
To live, to laugh, to dream,
To grow, to trust, to love, to be.
Yes, a day to be. Truly, Life Day is the most profound and specific holiday there is.