Good morning, Sirs and Madams! Rise and shine!
Welcome to Vault 71. I am MacCrocksworth, your friendly Mister Handy unit.
You may recall (if the process of suspended animation hasn’t scrambled your brains) that the world outside is currently neither habitable nor hospitable. While we wait things out down here, please avail yourselves to all the amenities Vault-Tec has to offer, such as the gym on the second floor, the salon near the elevator, and the nutritious food paste extruded in the cafe.
Among you are some Vault-Tec personnel. They are here as part of a social experiment being run by Vault-Tech, which I am legally required to tell you about, but contractually obligated not to explain in detail. Side effects may include headache, dry-eye, death, sudden death, and muscle cramps.
Oh, one other thing, if anyone has misplaced any items, please let me know. A few things were found unattended by the cleaning robots last night. If you have misplaced a Vault 77 jumpsuit, a horrifying painting, or a child’s clown mask, come see me and I shall see that the blood is cleaned off and they will be returned to you in pristine condition.
Please let me know if you need anything or have any questions. Obviously we don’t have the sun down here, so to keep the schedule moving forward, lights out will be promptly at 6 pm Pacific Time.
Lilith is Raven
A Winged Potato
18 Test Subjects (Vanilla Town)
1 Overseer (Investigator)
1 Protectron (Jailer)
1 Mysterious Stranger (Vigilante)
6 Vault-Tec Scientists (Wolves)
3 Serial Killers (Puppet Man, Pickman, Pint-Size Slasher)
Day One will end on Saturday, November 10, at 7:00 pm Pacific.
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